A special treat for you today with guest Brian Muka. Over the past couple of years, Brian and I have had a number of deep, thought-provoking conversations. We finally decided to record one so you can learn his wisdom and experience too.
We’re discussing fear, self-worth, and self-sabotage. We’re talking about manifesting the exact situations, circumstances and people you need on your journey. And we’re covering forgiveness and self-love. It’s a lot. This one is a little longer than usual and it’s totally worth it.
A navy veteran and former bomb tech, Brian describes himself as an intersection of Jocko Willink meets Bob Proctor. As he was running his executive coaching business called Fear Sherpa, and guiding clients to harness their fear, he realized what his Fear Clients wanted was to stop worrying about money. So he became a simple money educator and fell in love with being a wealth mentor and a tax strategist.
Now business owners hire him to re-balance their underperforming assets, pay only their patriotic duty in taxes without increasing their capital outlay, and 2x-4X increase income – tax free.
Today’s episode is sponsored by Zen Rabbit. If you’d like to move away from living in a state of constant anxiousness and instead find peace of mind no matter what’s going on around you, get on a complimentary call with me. In less than 30 minutes, you’ll get insight on any issue you’d like to bring to the table. And you’ll leave the conversation with clarity and renewed energy. Find the booking link HERE.
Brian’s hype song: Beautiful Day by U2
[00:00:00] Lori Saitz: Hello, and welcome to fine is a 4-letter word. My guest today is Brian. Muka welcome to the show, Brian.
honored to have you. It has been, yeah, it's it has. And here. we are in the now as, which is always what we have in the. I like to start off asking my guests the question, what were the beliefs and values you were raised with that contributed to you becoming who you have become
[00:00:39] Brian Muka: Well, the first one is, uh, how my dad regarded grades. So A was average, B was below average. C was can't go out. D was, and didn't get, I didn't get any Fs until I was in college studying electoral engineering. So that was not a, not a good fit and, uh, good things come to those that work hard. So that was, uh,
[00:01:06] Lori Saitz: So it’s all about hard work.
[00:01:07] Brian Muka: Yeah, it's gotta be hard.
And then. And so that juxtaposed to when I was, I love the way my dad tells the story. He's a, he's a lean six Sigma consultant and he tells the story to his classes. And it's, it's neat. It's neat to know that I, I get a little, little shine to the number one test pilot in our family. I used to call myself the lab rat.
Uh, I like, uh, I like the test pilot idea first. I was the first kid and, uh, when I was about six or seven, um, my dad and I would throw the baseball back and forth. And, um, my dad was a huge track star. So like playing catch with me was like a new skill for him too. And the way that he, the way that he tells it, you know, as I was, uh, eight, he was probably about a 12 year old level of baseball.
And then when I was 12, I started to throw pretty hard and he was doing this weird thing where he would like, kind of get out of the way. And I'm like, dad, what are you doing? He's like, well, I don't wanna get hit by the ball. And it's. Well, that's what you have reaction for. Don't be, you know, don't I said this when I was young, I was like, don't be stupid in front of it.
And little did I know, like that's what I help people do is get in front of the ball. The only the things that we fear can hurt us. And my dad was such an incredible, it's incredible to notice in that time, like that was before men could have feelings other than like rage. Uh, how much he really cared to learn from me, you know?
And it was interesting cuz you know, his PhD, um, you know, doctor and I said, you know, I said, I used a stupid word, like for effect, you know, and he could hear it. And uh, so I both hard and everybody's a leader. Uh,
[00:03:01] Lori Saitz: do would, were you given a growth mindset or more fixed
[00:03:05] Brian Muka: I mean, everything was possible. Everything was possible with my dad and still to this day, like, you know, when I'm feeling frustrated, he's like, I don't understand, like you are so talented and the day that you realize that, like the world will be yours and of course you're gonna figure this out, you know?
Yeah. Really blessed. My dad.
[00:03:25] Lori Saitz: Mm-hmm so if you, so you were encouraged that if you weren't good at something, you could
[00:03:30] Brian Muka: Uh, yeah, my dad was a student of Robert Dilts one of the founders of NLP. And, you know, from a very early age, I learned D's, um, uh, methods of, of learning and, and performing, you know, and, and very rarely was it an identity issue. He was very good about, Hey, that's good and it can be better. And I love you, you know, so, and then, so, so I learned.
[00:03:52] Lori Saitz: That's a really powerful foundation to come.
[00:03:56] Brian Muka: this is really the first time on a podcast. I'm talking about my mom, my mom is a spiritual gangster, uh, that faith, like, um, she knows. So the joke in our family is my mom is the Patron Saint of patron saints. So she knows the feast days. She knows what their superpower is. And, uh, yeah. So as I think about how I show up in the business world, I said this the other day, the, the intersection of Jocko Willink and Bob Proctor.
And I have my mom to thank for being in touch with my heart. And you know, the spirituality, she's not a fan. I'm no longer practicing Catholic, but I'm done being guilty and ashamed at my human nature. Uh, fuck that. What is the funest?
[00:04:45] Lori Saitz: Good for you. You know, there's a there's a clothing line, spiritual gangster. Maybe you could get her something for next mother's day or her birthday.
[00:04:53] Brian Muka: Yeah. I love it.
[00:04:58] Lori Saitz: yeah, we'll have to, they're not a sponsor, but now
[00:05:00] Brian Muka: we go. And then, uh, we have music and we have
[00:05:03] Lori Saitz: that we mentioned.
[00:05:04] Brian Muka: all of us classically trained musicians, piano trombone for my brother trumpet for me, French horn for Katie, my sister, the center, not the middle, but the center child. She's now a professional, uh, singer and music director. And my brother went on to become a priest and I was a, a bomb technician.
So the, so the joke is a priest, a bomb tech and an opera singer walk into a bar and it's, you know, that's our family, you know? Yeah.
[00:05:31] Lori Saitz: Right. Wow. How did you get into doing that to becoming a bomb tech? like, did you just, was that like a dream you had from when you were a kid or how did you get to do that? Cause that's not a common
[00:05:46] Brian Muka: secret in the Navy when I was pursuing that as a, as a dream. Um, when I was young, I watched a lot of top gun and I read a lot of books about space. So I wanted to be a steely eyed missile, man. And I wanna be an astronaut. I still, and I'm not, I haven't grown out of that.
Like I still want to do that. Um, I had a, so I knew I wanted to be the military. Uh, and I knew I, I wanted to do something, you know, on the cutting edge of, of things. and, uh, I'm a high knowledge guy. I love watching star Trek, star wars and like language geek. But man, I love technology. And what I realized was watches, gadgets, those things.
What I, what I'm really what I was really obsessed with was upgrading myself. So that's why biohacking. And so, uh, about halfway through high school, I knew I wanted to go to the Naval academy. Um, and I kind of lost that desire. And then I went to New Jersey boy state, and I watched this veteran man. He was a world war II guy, walker, hobble over, and no kidding, like this long bending over, picking up the piece of trash and then coming back up again and then hobbling over and throwing it out.
I was blown. My mind was blown. Like not, not only was it enough for him to serve his country. Watch his buddies die, but to come back and continue to teach the next generation how to be involved in politics and, you know, good citizens. I'm like, I wanna stay on the watch for that guy when he can't send me.
So I, I went full steam ahead. I earned an ROTC scholarship and what I wanted to do was run nuclear power plants under water. I think I thought that was the coolest thing I could do. And the coolest thing that I could get to outer space. And explore something that we know even less about, which is our own ocean.
And then I spent time on a submarine in a submarine is actually more appropriate. It's kind of like living inside of our pocket watch. I was quickly cured of that desire. You know, I spent five days underwater and you know, I got to learn a lot about nuclear power and, you know, life aboard of submarine and realized no fucking way.
Am I gonna do. It was the coolest summer crew that the, when
[00:08:08] Lori Saitz: that when you were, uh, go ahead. Oh
[00:08:11] Brian Muka: And man, we were, we were watching a movie, uh, with the captain of the boat and one of the junior officers, you know, a guy probably like four or five years older than me, he goes, I don't even know I'm here. I'm like, what do you mean?
He goes, I'm not allowed to watch movie. Until I can stand the watch. He had to get qualified, you know, to, to be, to run the ship, to run the reactor. He's like, I don't get asleep. I haven't slept in 48 hours. I'm like, you sound like a slave. He goes, this is a really bad idea. Like, I wouldn't do this. If I were you, I'm like, cool.
I will, I will learn from you and make new mistakes.
[00:08:51] Lori Saitz: I will
[00:08:51] Brian Muka: quickly cured came back from that. And I'd always been obsessed with pushing, how far can I go in my body, right. With breathwork breath holds, you know, I woke up one day. I'm like, I'm gonna start doing a half Ironman races. And that's what I did. So
[00:09:08] Lori Saitz: That like, you never
[00:09:09] Brian Muka: always riding my bike, you know, I would like wake up and do 50 miles when I was like,
[00:09:14] Lori Saitz: That's one third of it. Sure.
[00:09:15] Brian Muka: yeah, Oh man, you couldn't pay me enough to get back on a bike, like time trialing and long distance cycling is no longer fine. It's worse than whatever that would be. Um,
[00:09:28] Lori Saitz: No longer fun or.
[00:09:30] Brian Muka: Now biking could be cool. Anyway, my class advisor, uh, Sean, he had, uh, gone to the Naval academy. He was a ship driver. So he was like in the surface Navy, but he always wanted to be a seal.
And so he went to buzz class OIC. told him, listen, do the right thing and get out of this program. Like you have no business here. And he was like, all right, I guess I'll do the honorable thing and bail out. And they're like, why did you do that? We tell everybody that. And so bitter chip on our shoulder.
And he brought that to our ROTC unit and he time me on the shoulder one day. He's like, Muca, you need to start coming to the, our explosive ordinance disposal, style PT. And man, he beat the shit out of us. I loved it. I loved suffering through that. Like kind of seeing where the edge is and
[00:10:22] Lori Saitz: because it pushed you to explore your
[00:10:25] Brian Muka: what I thought my limitations were. And, uh, I loved it. It, it scratch this itch that I had, and I realized I'm obsessed with becoming part of more and more elite groups and communities and mission. Um, so I connected with the shore detachment, which was like a six person. They take care of, uh, unexplode ordinance and response stuff, stateside.
It's cool. It's like, uh, it's like the adult version of having a tree for it mixed with James. It's like how James Bond would arrange a tree for it. And so I started training with those guys and then my dad who was, uh, training Lockheed Martin, uh, the leans stuff. He had this Lieutenant commander in his.
and, uh, he's like, oh yeah, my son, my son is an ROTC student at Drexel. What is your son gonna do? He's like my son's crazy. He wants to be a bomb technician in the Navy. Like, can't he just drive ships? He goes, I get it. And he's like, by the way, I run the summer cruises for the special operations crews. And, uh, we've never had a Navy ROTC guy go through the Naval Academy's bomb technician, summer training, your son interested.
and my dad's like, yeah, of course he's gonna be interested. So I ran that by my, uh, my ROTC unit, uh, university of Pennsylvania. And like, will you write me orders for this? They said, no. I'm like, well, what if we, what if I pay for it? You just write the orders. Like, yeah, we'll do that. Best $430 I've ever spent in my life.
Paid for food. I paid for lodging. We jumped outta helicopters. We blew up flare pods from F 14 Tomcat. The movie that top gun is about right? The first one and man, I, oh my God. Yeah, it's so
[00:12:09] Lori Saitz: one?
[00:12:10] Brian Muka: Uh,
[00:12:12] Lori Saitz: I keep hearing that I haven't
[00:12:14] Brian Muka: that movie is
[00:12:14] Lori Saitz: gotta go. I, I, maybe this weekend.
[00:12:17] Brian Muka: for me and I was ready to watch it. And the movie that I saw was Brian, you are a man of excellence and you still have it in you to be at the tip of the spear. And my dream is to be living on my sailboat with the love of my life. On the Caribbean to live on a 3 million condo that I can take laps around the Caribbean on there's a middle scene where, uh, Jennifer Connolly is on the sailboat teaching Tom cruise, how to sail.
I'm like this movie was made for me. I'm on the path. I'm exactly where I need to be. So, um, I finished that, uh, training. I came back, I went to church and I let, this is no exaggeration. I lit every single candle in church because I knew this is where I was going. Lord. And I said, Lord, if it's possible, this is what I want to do with the next chapter of my life.
And I remember the day sitting in my management information systems class, and, uh, Andrew Shapiro called he was my class advisor. He said, you did get it. And I heard you didn't get it. He said it again. You did get it. I heard you didn't get it. And finally it was like, Brian, what, what about this? Are you not getting it?
You're gonna be a special operations. and so this gets into my fine story. I didn't believe
[00:13:35] Lori Saitz: Yeah, I was going there
[00:13:36] Brian Muka: I deserved it. And what I had been sitting with recently was I changed the game. I pioneered a new way to qualify and get selected for the special operations career. I networked my way through the side door and I wrote it.
The story I wrote for those events was I cheat. I trick them. I don't really deserve to be here. I'm not as smart or as hard or as badass as the rest of these sneakers. I mean, they are snake, you know, folks that work with the seals, um, you know, seal team six, uh, you know, really dev group. And my, my mentor was a dev group operator and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing here?
I have no business to be at this table. And I was the only person who thought that the only.
[00:14:25] Lori Saitz: right, right. Because I've also heard the, the saying, if you are invited to sit at the table,
[00:14:33] Brian Muka: I didn't
[00:14:33] Lori Saitz: belong there.
[00:14:35] Brian Muka: I acted that way. I had no standards, uh, when it came to the way I allowed people to talk and treat me and long story short, I manifested the early end of. James Bond, what I thought to be my dream lifestyle. And thank God I didn't get that dream. Thank I, I would not have access to my heart.
I would not be able to put the war helmet on when I need to, and then use the magic wand as a wizard. Um, I wouldn't have access to that for a long time. And if ever I ever want to know what that life would've been like, I have friends that go through that EOD stands for everyone's divorced. Uh, it's a challenge.
And so. So, yeah, that's the, that's the start of my realization that fine. Isn't fine. Uh,
[00:15:21] Lori Saitz: when that happened. When you left, were you, were you angry about it? Like, what were your, what was your, what were your feelings around it? Because now you look back on it as it's, it was a gift that you didn't finish, but what happened.
[00:15:36] Brian Muka: was I angry? No, I wasn't. I was the opposite. I was done. I was tired. I was exhausted and it was kind of like, fuck this. Right for a year before that happened, it was jump through this hoop. Okay. I'll do it. Jump through this hoop. I'll do it. And about 50% of the command thought that I deserved a second chance.
My first combat deployment, my chief, my senior enlisted advisor, his father was dying of cancer. And I thought about Aaron. And if he was down range, working on an explosive or disposal, Wondering how his dad was doing. And he died that would've been on me. That was unacceptable. I would never have tolerated that.
And I sent him home. I sent him home to take care of his dad, my first class, the next guy in line, never trained officer before we had a huge problem. Like we used to go to ships to learn how to be officers. And then I was the first year that didn't, and it became really convenient to blame the junior officer for not knowing what to do.
and I was told you're not coach. You're not, you're not trainable. I'm like that doesn't make any sense at all. Like, you know, I should have asked for more help and I had allies, but I didn't, I didn't understand my technique in my life was to kill people with kindness. I didn't know how to deal with it in a adversary.
And so. Within six weeks of getting to Iraq. I was fired from my platoon commander position. I was relegated into being the night watch captain and the holy shit did that suck. It's awesome. Uh, I felt like I had the plague. I self-segregated, I started training for marathon. I would go running for three hours at a time to escape.
I had church, I had the guitar, we built an amazing CrossFit gym. I figured out how to finance. uh, one of the best CrossFit gyms I've ever been to in the world, CrossFit spiker was the name of the, and I took such delight into beating the shit outta the people who made my life really hard and CrossFit workouts.
Cause I never really looked apart. You know, I was always 20, 25 pounds soft, but man, I was a hell of an athlete and I wish I knew that in the moment. I didn't know that, uh, it was never good enough. I was never
[00:17:53] Lori Saitz: you just brought up because so many people listening. When you look back at pictures of yourself, where you have memories of yourself and you go, I didn't know how good I was. I didn't know how good a shape I was in. I didn't know how smart I was. I didn't know how, whatever.
Right in hindsight, I see how amazing I was, but I didn't see it in the moment. And to then take that to today and say in 10 years, or 20 years, you could be looking back at your version of yourself here now saying, ah, I didn't know how amazing I was. Can you step into your amazingness here now?
[00:18:37] Brian Muka: That's all we have. All we have is now. Yeah. What a powerful lesson. And so what I, what I learned, and that was my first avalanche in my life. Um, it was awful. Uh, it was my identity. It was my dream. I was so proud to serve in that way. And I was really uniquely suited. To do that. I just wish I knew that at the time it was a common story too.
There was a lot of us that went through the same thing and my, uh, therapist at the time, she's like, I was gonna start a support group for you guys, cuz it was, it was awful. And um, anyway, I read, uh, Victor Frankel's man search for meaning. And I was like, wow, what if, what if the reason that this happened?
What if I created this? I didn't know that yet, but I created that. Uh, I was unwilling to compromise my values and what if I wrote the guidebook of how to come back from life avalanches and I filled three Moleskin, uh, journals over the course of eight years. And I remember the moment that fear Sherpa was born.
Like the, so what of this pain? Uh, I was metabolizing cause I was, I figured something out. I had to breakthrough a shame part of my story and Talia Geren. She was my she's my adopted Jewish auntie life coach. She said, where did you get that from? I don't know. I made, I made it up. She goes some breakthrough.
I don't know. I don't remember what it was. Some way of changing the story or turning the shame of the guilt into something useful, like an Al like an Alchemist. And she said I've been in therapy for 30 years. I've never seen that before. Keep going kid. You got so. And once again, like Sean, he tapped me on the shoulder, said, you need to be part of this T tapped me on the shoulder, said, keep going.
We need this. So I did, um, I spent, you know, five and a half years in medical sales. Um, I wrote my Ted talk while I was in Costa Rica as a salesman of the year and fear Sherpa, name of the name of the mission. Uh, Sherpa is the name of the tribe that lives on the ceiling of the. right. It's a community like Blackfoot, Navajo Sherpa can be used simultaneously.
And it's also these architects, the strategists
[00:20:55] Lori Saitz: The guides.
[00:20:56] Brian Muka: K2 and Mount Everest and market. If you're listening this, trying to figure out marketing, that's a terrible name. I love it. It's it's crafty. It's creative. It's cute. It isn't very clear. So
[00:21:08] Lori Saitz: were talking about marketing
[00:21:08] Brian Muka: that's, that's fear, Sherpa, and, um,
[00:21:13] Lori Saitz: Oh,
[00:21:14] Brian Muka: fear.
[00:21:15] Lori Saitz: Cause there was a thing, there was a company or something called
[00:21:18] Brian Muka: I wish I called it something else.
[00:21:21] Lori Saitz: Okay. I just wanted to get some clarification.
[00:21:25] Brian Muka: Nobody turns out nobody turns out nobody buys fear. They want on the what's on the other side of that. And I became obsessed with understanding how to dance and harness and leverage fear. So. Uh, left quad L June 1st to start fear Sherpa full time. I ended on top. Uh, yeah, I wrote that Ted talk while I was in Costa Rica and we were issued, we were gifted.
These Mont Blanc pens, Mont Blanc is the tallest mountain in Europe. So I'm staring at the cab, this $400 pen, basically writing my manifesto and my letter of resignation and like,
[00:22:03] Lori Saitz: Yeah. Which is another
[00:22:04] Brian Muka: My heart's not
[00:22:05] Lori Saitz: when you are good at
[00:22:06] Brian Muka: I was there with my bride.
[00:22:07] Lori Saitz: that you have to continue doing it just cuz you're good at it. If your heart is not in it.
[00:22:16] Brian Muka: So as part of the strategy, I wanted to learn, influence and get paid to do it. And that's what sales is. That's it's leadership. It's influence. It's. Manipulation, depending on the, uh, intentionality behind it. And I, I found myself spending a lot more time coaching and advising on leadership issues and some days just showing up my ukulele because the stress was so crazy in these health systems.
Ugh, thank God. I didn't go to medical medical school after the Navy. Uh, so I left June 1st, um, June. June 2nd. I did a whim H event with one of the top whim, ho folks. Um, I had a birthday dinner and I wasn't really interested in sitting around and drinking and you know, my wife at the time gave me a lot of crap for how, how come you don't wanna hang out with your friends?
Like. It's my birthday. Like, I'm gonna do whatever I want to do to you guys. You guys are always invited to the crazy shit that I'm getting into. Like we're teaching people how to transcend pain and find joy in the ice bath. And it's like, I've got a gift in this. So that was the feather, right? Of like, Hey, you're probably gonna need to make some different choices.
Right. June 3rd, I woke up at the, you know, we had this great party, uh, at the farm. And then, uh, June 4th, my birthday, uh, four years ago, or three years ago, I woke up a free man. I didn't have to go to work. I wasn't owned by the Navy. And my wife was nowhere to be found. She had left the night before, like this was my crew crew of coaches and, you know, medicine, healers, and yeah, she took my car.
She left, I came back with my buddy Dave, and, uh, couple months later I would be on Mount hood with whim Hoff. and I came back. She's had only one, like it was the most single most transformative moment of my life. I was around 65 other crazy motherfuckers. And I was finally home. The reason why I had sort of felt at a place my whole life is cuz it was just a different, I had a, I was marching, a very
[00:24:22] Lori Saitz: found your tribe
[00:24:23] Brian Muka: that no one else could see on my
[00:24:26] Lori Saitz: Now you had found it.
[00:24:29] Brian Muka: never not until that moment. Yeah. And we had to, we had to give like, um, we had to take a test. We had to demonstrate, we knew the method and how to guide people through the breath and the ice practice. And then you had to give a talk. It was the first time in public that I shared my story in my avalanche about getting fired.
And then what I chose to do next with my life, there was two seals. There was two Marine Corps, special forces guys. talking to civilians about that was fine, cuz they didn't really understand it, but like to these guys, I'm like, yo, I failed. I failed and I let people down. And um, this is me, it was an incredible talk.
And I remember putting my sunglasses on after I said it and wept as it was like, felt exposed finally for the first time ever. And then man, I was really loved, uh, after that. And what I realized, I realized, well, I died, right? It's the tears were about the holy spirit Christ con flowing through it. Cause I had never said those things before.
I'd never wrote them. I never thought about 'em and it just poured out of me cuz that's what the audience and me needed in that very moment. And it was a, it was a death. I was beginning to leave that loser. You're a failure. You're not good enough. am I awake?
[00:25:58] Lori Saitz: And I wanna
[00:25:59] Brian Muka: Not possible to do alone.
[00:26:00] Lori Saitz: not that you were a loser, you were leaving that belief behind. not the judgment of like, not that you thought you were, you were leaving that judgment of yourself and that belief and killing that off. Yeah.
[00:26:21] Brian Muka: Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And. To begin taking responsibility for my thoughts around how cruel I was to myself and my wife at the time, she was such a beautiful mirror. And Jessica, if you ever hear this, I'm so freaking grateful. Thank you for being my exact mirror. Thank you for the pain that I caused you for me to finally realize that I deserve it and I am worth it.
[00:26:49] Lori Saitz: what has been, so.
that was three years ago.
Tell me a little bit more about the journey that has now gotten you. That was the beginning. And where are you?
[00:27:07] Brian Muka: well, I live in paradise. I'll have to show you some pictures. Uh, so lived in Oceanside for about a year during COVID. Uh, manifested the love of my life, uh, wrote a letter that was channeled to me from her. And the language is the same. Like what is in that letter before we really started dating is in that letter.
And then I wrote exactly what I was calling in and a partner. And the only thing I was wrong, Lori was about her eye color, such. She has eyes of green that has the stars and the sea inside. Well, her eyes are not green. You know what color they. They're this color, they're the same shade of brown. She is my mirror.
And I remember talking to her and she said something I'm like, thank you so much for, um, thank you so much for manifesting me. She goes, what game on? So June 4th, two years ago, I was in a zoom call doing a financial needs analysis with a buddy of mine. And my dad knocks on the door. Cause I'm living with my parents during COVID.
he knocks on the door and he goes, this isn't from us. Happy birthday to you. Right. And it's a cheesecake, my favorite cheesecake, right. Strawberries, almond crest. And I flip it over and it says, Dawn shy, Seyer on it. And I finished and I
[00:28:33] Lori Saitz: I I find that hard to believe too, that you would ever be
[00:28:37] Brian Muka: I didn't know what to say.
I know I was perplexed. It's never happened before. And like, I'm shook. Like, I don't even know what to say. Like this beautiful woman started showing up in my zoom room as I was doing Sunday breath, fast whim, H gratitude, like a little sermon started showing her up every week. And my, I need to ask this lady out on the date.
And so I did like, I didn't know how a zoom date worked and, uh, yeah, we, uh, we would have these dates and it became the boom, boom, zoom room. I got a Christmas lights
[00:29:10] Lori Saitz: the cheesecake came from her.
[00:29:13] Brian Muka: we started dating.
[00:29:15] Lori Saitz: But before she was
[00:29:17] Brian Muka: Yeah. 2,700 miles
[00:29:19] Lori Saitz: in the rooms together for a while and, and then she sent you a cheesecake.
[00:29:24] Brian Muka: Oh, we had, we had we had been
[00:29:27] Lori Saitz: It's not like a random stranger should sent you a cheesecake and then started showing up in your
[00:29:31] Brian Muka: talking for a
couple weeks and then a cheesecake showed up and there's nothing, there's nothing random in my life creating it. Uh, yes, I called her and I was like, listen, you know, when you, when we first started talking, uh, I went through like a recruiting script, cuz we were like in the same financial services and it was like, Hey, um, you look, you look, you look really sharp.
Cause we were on this like 800 person zoom call. And like when I would smile, she would smile. It felt like she was like, mirroring turns out she wasn't. But that's what I saw. And it gave me the courage to like, you know, to be bold. And I said, Hey, you look really sharp. She goes, yeah, a lot better than the sweaty mess.
I was on Sunday and Lori, here's where it started. I kind of like the post runners look, zoom call soon. She goes, all right. I'm like weekends or weekdays, weekdays, Monday or Tuesday, Tuesday, five or six. Are you trying to recruit me? What kind of job do you.
So when she sent me the cheesecake, I was like, listen, I'm buying tickets. I'm gonna come out there. You're hired. You're hired to the team of executive savages that we are. And, and I just want you to know, like, if you smell good and we have fun making dinner in the kitchen, I'm sliding all the chips
[00:30:44] Lori Saitz: long had you known
[00:30:45] Brian Muka: I'm a hundred percent yet. And that's what happened
[00:30:48] Lori Saitz: Wow. Okay. So, you know, you, you, she didn't manifest you, you co-created.
[00:31:00] Brian Muka: That's very true. Thank you. That's quite an
[00:31:05] Lori Saitz: of you. Yeah. Awesome. So things are good now, like, like this journey again, like we get stuck in these places or we maybe even aren't stuck, we just are passing through them and they don't feel so good at the time. It always is It, it gets better.
[00:31:35] Brian Muka: So in, in that idea, right? So a model that I'm playing in is the mayor Coupa. Everything that happens in my life is my fault. I called it. For my highest that's good. Right? So that cures victim and not a victim and developing agency and I'm learning and getting smarter every, with every engagement and every time a diamond press shows up and more on that in a second.
And if, if I know that that means that I've created the adversaries that have shown up in my life and the crazy awesome thing about that is they love, they love me. And I've never talked about this on a podcast before. But I've gone down to the deep end of the rabbit hole of breathwork to the, to the point where it becomes psychedelic actually.
And I can pass, practice dying actually in a way that it feels like a hug, just like, like a grass kind of pulling the veil across my face, you know? And one of these breast sessions, I met
[00:32:35] Lori Saitz: mm-hmm
[00:32:36] Brian Muka: I grew up Catholic. Like that's probably not a great place to be. Right. You're the devil. You're gonna go to hell.
You're. It's uh, one of the greatest enslavement tools that we have is the fear of whatever the thing is, do this or else. So I'm in this, I'm in this space with the devil and my brain is like, get the fuck out of there, get off the X. And my heart was like, but he loves you. And I was confused and intrigued and I fell into that and the devil smiled and I could feel like a care bear stare of love.
Like right through my heart. And he goes, Brian, the reason that I've been so hard on you is because I love you.
I'm still gonna fuck with you. Right. And I said to him, you better bring it, your son of
[00:33:28] Lori Saitz: All right. Devil went down
[00:33:29] Brian Muka: kind of like how guys give each other shit in the locker room type deal. Yeah. He's looking for a soul to steal. He was looking for a soul to give the contrast of free will to. and I think secretly roots for us to choose oneness our divinity.
To remember that we get to co-create. I love that word. I love that idea. I love that alignment with the infinite. And so, because I experienced so much scarcity, it increased my capacity to be with so
[00:34:02] Lori Saitz: if you don't know the one side, how do you know the other side?
[00:34:12] Brian Muka: Paul check says, if you would like your branches of your tree to grow to heaven, your roots must first grow through hell.
[00:34:18] Lori Saitz: So good.
[00:34:20] Brian Muka: I'd pay the price. There's nothing for free. And 99% of everything that manifests that we, we don't create it. We come up to us. We see it in the imagination first, like literally everything you look at, like if you're, as you're listening to this turn to your left, the first thing you see that was in somebody's imagination before it became into 3d, literally everything, our whole life can be like that.
And so as I'm with the devil, he, he, he could, he takes a couple steps and then he, then he turns around and he goes, congratulations, you just faced your demo. and by the way, you need to let go of your shame and guilt, um, for where you're
[00:35:03] Lori Saitz: Was that before or after?
[00:35:05] Brian Muka: Let go of
[00:35:06] Lori Saitz: the experience of
sharing with those people the first time when you shared up on the mountain.
[00:35:15] Brian Muka: it.
[00:35:15] Lori Saitz: Okay.
[00:35:17] Brian Muka: Oh, that was, that was about a year later, actually. Mm-hmm
[00:35:21] Lori Saitz: Yeah.
[00:35:22] Brian Muka: yeah, it's been
[00:35:22] Lori Saitz: Wow.
[00:35:23] Brian Muka: it's been a progression for sure. and, and I wanna share the other, and I wanna share the reason I'm on your podcast and it's to connect with you. The listener I was taken to this beautiful Vista and imagine like diamonds and Aurora Borealis, like the most beautiful thing you can think of.
That's what it was for me and my crystal goddess in this, in this vision she shared, this is yours. This is your secret spot. But if you'd like to have the life of your dreams, you must share this. I'm sharing with you. What I saw, what I've experienced and thank you for listening and holding space. For me as I closed the loop on the hell to now enjoy the garden of Eden.
Now it's a wonderful life. Now my, my buddy Ryan Wall is writing that book as we speak. And in the words of Ernest Hemingway, if we'd like to write interesting things, we must live interesting things. And so now from the first book, your secret superpower tame, fear thrive the, from doubtful. That's actually what I suffer from.
It wasn't fear. I thought it was, but it isn't doubt it. I doubt it. I deserved. I settled for so little for myself. And a lot of forgiveness was needed. How cruel I was to me, uh, how little I valued myself. And so the book now is from doubtful to dangerous. This is a very dangerous conversation because we're teaching and showing the blueprint.
I can't do this for you. I can show you where the landmines are and what the steps are. To take control of your thoughts. Thought control is everything. You know, that's one of the secrets of Steve jobs. 97% of our thoughts are repetitive. They're a habit. You're not good enough. You don't deserve enough.
Right? So I want you guys to take three deep breaths with me right this second. And this is brand new technology. I'm so stoked to share this with you. So let's do this.
[00:37:27] Lori Saitz: of, sort of wrap it up. Let's go.
[00:37:28] Brian Muka: breaths together.
So, so we're gonna breathe in and then we're just gonna let go, like just fold into the exhale. So do three. And then after the third one, I want you to just check in with what your thoughts were and what they are now. So let's do three and we'll check in with the thoughts. Alright. So fully in let go.
And again, This time, breathe in and hold it with a smile. And now let go.
I was thinking about how much time we have left and like rushing right. To be mindful of your time and those things. And what do I want more of? I wanna be more now. I wanna be right now and know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I'm like exactly who needs to be here now? And if I could spend 51% of the time.
in the I'm enough right now. Pleasure. Enoughness gratitude. 51% of the time, whole life changes, not just mine, but the people who get to feel that that's the, so what of, all of it
[00:38:43] Lori Saitz: right. It's it's, uh,
[00:38:46] Brian Muka: breathe
[00:38:47] Lori Saitz: a radiating out. I that's hard for a lot of people do nothing.
[00:38:52] Brian Muka: in, do nothing. It's a challenge. We already have it.
Or breathe in and find something to look at like, wow, that tree's beautiful. And then, you know, if you're in your car or you have a mirror in your body, breathe in,
[00:39:09] Lori Saitz: Yeah. Try that exercise of not try, do that.
[00:39:13] Brian Muka: If you struggle with weight, if you struggle with weight loss, the reps are great. The nutrition's great. But if you don't love yourself and can't forgive, you will be heavy
[00:39:25] Lori Saitz: of your
[00:39:25] Brian Muka: because you're heavy.
[00:39:27] Lori Saitz: And when you change your identity and find love for yourself,
[00:39:31] Brian Muka: Yeah.
[00:39:33] Lori Saitz: not just, not just in, in that regard, in every regard, Everything changes.
[00:39:41] Brian Muka: Everything changes.
[00:39:41] Lori Saitz: have in some ways, in many ways come full circle. So you're still diffusing bombs, just different ones.
[00:39:54] Brian Muka: I remember the first time public and I received that. I graciously received that. Now guys, I say that out loud, cuz this little demon that sometimes in here says yeah, right, right. The thought is, yeah. Right. But when I speak it out loud, I can take it in the spoken word is 60 times more powerful than anything we can speak.
So that means if you say I suck, I'm not worth. Right. That's three times more powerful than anything positive you can say. So choose your words wisely. There's a passage in the Bible. It's mark 12 verse 36. We'll be judged by our careless language. Let's tell yourself short. Remember you were made in his image in likeness.
You are a miracle and every time your heartbeat, it's the most efficient pump we know of. And it's one of the coolest, energetic devices. Thank you, Joe Dispenza for what we're able to do with quantum mechanics and dual pointing and sending very complex messages and feelings without time. And without respect to distance, you have that.
And it was a gift from your parents. You didn't do anything to deserve it, nothing, and yet you get it all. And that's, that's kind of how I think life
[00:40:59] Lori Saitz: yeah, You already are
[00:41:00] Brian Muka: need to deserve it. It's already your.
[00:41:02] Lori Saitz: just by virtue of being. Right.
[00:41:06] Brian Muka: that, and that was the big lie. That was the big lie eat of this fruit, something outside of you.
If you want to know what I know, right. If you wanna know what God knows, we, and then Jesus said, um, we do not live by bread alone, but by the very word of the father, right? That's that consciousness that flows forth like a, like a spring. And just remember that's already happening. There's nothing to do.
Just a lot to, a lot to forget. Right. Our conditioning. You're not enoughness,
[00:41:39] Lori Saitz: And remembering
[00:41:41] Brian Muka: bla me actually. Yeah.
[00:41:46] Lori Saitz: Brian, I knew this conversation was gonna be as good as it has been. Cuz we just always, we have Brian and I have had these conversations before we just haven't recorded them. Not the same conversation. Different stuff, but it's always so enlightening and I'm so grateful for you coming on today to share this with, with my listeners before we go, I gotta ask what's your hype song.
What's the song. I mean, I know you're into being chill and to being, and when you wanna raise your vibration even more with music, Because there are lots of ways to raise vibration, but when you wanna do it with music, what's the song you listen to.
[00:42:39] Brian Muka: It's a beautiful day. U2. I play that on the ukulele, uh, every day now. I love it. It's my current
[00:42:48] Lori Saitz: And if other people wanna continue this conversation with you, what's the best way for them to.
[00:42:58] Brian Muka: uh, Instagram, Brian J Muca, uh, click my link tree. You can schedule time with me. I've got resources. You can order my book. Uh, your secret superpower. I really wanna share that with you. I wrote it for you. Um, There it's there. And then I also, uh, fair amount on LinkedIn too. So those are my two, my two spots.
I love to chat with you and you know, your network is my network and vice versa. How can I show up in service and connect ideas and people, and you deserve to breakthrough. You do, and you just need a blueprint. I can't do it for you that doesn't honor you. And it's already
[00:43:33] Lori Saitz: I will put links to that in
[00:43:35] Brian Muka: come and.
[00:43:37] Lori Saitz: links, to your links in the show notes. Thanks again for joining me on fine is a four letter word, Brian.
[00:43:44] Brian Muka: Right on.
Oh, so good to not be fine.