My guest in today’s episode is known as The Wholehearted Woman and you’ll hear why when you listen. Lisa Winneke is a Visionary and Leader who is passionate about supporting women – and men – to cultivate the commitment, compassion and courage required to transform their lives and relationships, so they can embody their authentic selves and create a life, from their hearts, that lights them up from the inside out!
In the first few minutes, I ask Lisa a very personal question I thought twice about before putting it out there. But I felt like I had to ask. She was very gracious in answering. Then we get into the wisdom of children, how she holds space and processes her own feelings while holding space for her son’s pain when he lashes out at her, finding compassion for yourself and not responding with fear, hurt, and projection.
And how, as entrepreneurs, we’re both still working on pushing back on the voice inside telling us we need to be doing more to achieve success, instead of allowing ourselves to be in a state of flow where life is working for you.
Lisa’s hype song is A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay: https://open.spotify.com/track/0FDzzruyVECATHXKHFs9eJ?si=DbhJf6x4SkqWhUi8xs0UVQ&dl_branch=1
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisawinneke/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisa.winneke/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisawinneke/
Clubhouse: https://clubhousedb.com/user/lisawinneke
Quick reminder, for community and camaraderie, Come join us in the Fine is a 4-Letter Word Facebook group.
Today’s episode is sponsored by Zen Rabbit. When you’re asking yourself “what’s next for me? Who am I now, in this next season of life? And where do I even start figuring out my purpose?” the F*ck Being Fine Experience is here for you. The next group starts in just a couple weeks.
Let me take you from doing just “fine” and lead you to a place of unprecedented passion, clarity, and peace. I’d love to chat with you about the steps to finding the courage to do what you know you need to do. Go to ZenRabbit.com to learn more or to schedule a complimentary call.
Transcript
Hello and welcome to Fine is a 4 Letter Word. My guest today
Speaker:is Lisa Winneke. I am so honored to have you on the show,
Speaker:and as I mentioned before we started recording, you are my very first
Speaker:Australian guest. Deletion. Thank you. Ana did feel that way. I didn't it.
Speaker:Yes. Thank me. I'm eager to have you share your story with us,
Speaker:and let's start out with, Tell me what values or beliefs were instilled
Speaker:in you as you were growing up that then played out as you
Speaker:got older. Oh, what a question. The values that were in still great,
Speaker:I know my values now, which I wasn't aligned with until the last,
Speaker:I'd say five or six years, the values of hard work,
Speaker:which we're instilling Me, but I chose not to actually
Speaker:go along with those values, the value of discipline.
Speaker:That was something that has stuck with me
Speaker:throughout... It's an interesting question, Mary, because it's really having
Speaker:me see that the values that I have...
Speaker:That are my values. Why? My childhood and teenage life and my adult
Speaker:life for a large part with so why I was so disconnected because
Speaker:they were so dialing... Mis aligned with the values that are true for
Speaker:me. So the ones that your family were teaching you were not aligned
Speaker:with what was true to you... That's right. So
Speaker:for example, I don't know if I would say if it was a
Speaker:value, but... So one of my highest values is honesty,
Speaker:now, growing up, I grew up in a home where
Speaker:that wasn't valued, there was a lot of secrets, a lot of secrets,
Speaker:secrets that I was aware of, secrets that one of my parents might
Speaker:not have been aware of, so that was something that was so in
Speaker:misalignment to who I was, which is why it's so integral in what
Speaker:I do and what I share that I'm honest, that who I show
Speaker:up is the person that actually is me inside, and integrity is also
Speaker:a couple with that interesting. When did you
Speaker:pick that up? Was it when you were a child? Still,
Speaker:no. Now, where my value is, when I really got a line,
Speaker:when I really got clear on my values, not my value is those
Speaker:values, we really became clear as I started to go on my own
Speaker:healing journey, as I shared with you, through this process of healing from
Speaker:bulimia, which had experienced for 20 years and depression and a disconnect,
Speaker:and as I started to reconnect with myself and understand and know
Speaker:who I was, then it became clear about the things that actually were
Speaker:most important, and I was able to look at how I behaved in
Speaker:the choices that I made and when I felt most in alignment and
Speaker:that gave me insights into what I value the most,
Speaker:and also what I got and also when I got triggered by...
Speaker:So what triggers me are people being dishonest, people not being in integrity,
Speaker:people showing up as something other than who they are,
Speaker:so I could then really hone in and get what I valued
Speaker:the most and then commit to those... To living those values,
Speaker:because by committing to living those values, then that meant that I was
Speaker:living in alignment with me. Yeah, yeah. Did life get easier when you
Speaker:started doing that... Yeah, that didn't answer your question per se,
Speaker:did it because... And I'm sorry because that actually is...
Speaker:That is something I really will go back and reflect on as to
Speaker:what values that were instilled in me, because I feel like I've...
Speaker:I really feel like I've thrown a lot of it out and I
Speaker:did as a teenager, I rebuild so much.
Speaker:So, yes. So going back to that question you just asked me.
Speaker:Yeah, okay, but you just... So one of the things you just mentioned
Speaker:about dealing with bulimia for 20 years, what...
Speaker:Is that related in any way to that family,
Speaker:those family dynamics as. We all can looking back, and I put the
Speaker:pieces together when I wrote them, when I wrote my book,
Speaker:the donor hope, which I wrote about five years ago,
Speaker:and understanding of course, 'cause there's no blame, I like us to prefecture,
Speaker:there is no blame that our parents were always doing the best that
Speaker:they could, but I grew up in a... Yes, I grew up in
Speaker:a home that I struggle with the secrets analytes.
Speaker:And I didn't feel part of the family unit.
Speaker:I felt misaligned. I, I remember when I was a really young child
Speaker:lying in bed and questioning How did I end up in this family...
Speaker:I think I was five, five or six years old who chose this
Speaker:for me, because at that age, I was already feeling not part of
Speaker:the family unit, and so I didn't feel like I belonged,
Speaker:so then obviously that manifested over a period of 10 years and by
Speaker:the time I got to 18, I was so disconnected from myself,
Speaker:so disconnected from my family, I didn't know where I belonged,
Speaker:I didn't feel safe anywhere or with me, that that was the manifestation
Speaker:of all of that pain and heartache and broken heartedness.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah. So I'm so curious about the secret. So I don't want
Speaker:you to tell me all of them, but...
Speaker:Were you biologically born into that family? As I was,
Speaker:okay. Oh. Everyone says I look like my mother. Yes,
Speaker:yes. So I've got great relationships with them now, great relationships
Speaker:with them now, and this has been The Life of my life's work,
Speaker:and I understand now that I was born into that family in order
Speaker:to heal through relationship. Okay, now, the reason I asked it,
Speaker:and I was almost not gonna ask it, but I had to ask
Speaker:it because you felt like you didn't belong, so I was just wondering
Speaker:if... 'cause sometimes adopted children feel that way,
Speaker:and so I was just wondering where that may be someone you can
Speaker:say Back off... No, no, no. And it's more so in respect for
Speaker:my family, it's something that in the past that I felt like I
Speaker:needed to speak my truth, but I understand now, it's also maintaining my
Speaker:relationships with my family, so I very much look like my mother,
Speaker:I think it was just that I felt like the black sheep in
Speaker:the family. I think highly in tune with the things going on around
Speaker:me, I'm like, Why can't people see what I'm seeing,
Speaker:Why can't my siblings see what I'm seeing, why Can everyone else see
Speaker:what I am seeing that this is why up my parents see what's
Speaker:going on inside their relationship and look, that's not to say that they
Speaker:couldn't. But at the time... As a young child, I feel like the
Speaker:way I saw the world and the way I saw sings was not
Speaker:the way that they saw. It. Yeah, isn't it interesting because I had
Speaker:a similar experience, I would fight with my parents all the time about
Speaker:religion, the religion I was raised in, and I did not...
Speaker:I didn't feel like it fit me, and so we would argue all
Speaker:the time, and I'm like, How can you not see what kind of
Speaker:like what you were saying? But I felt discounted because you're only a
Speaker:kid. Right, so how could you... It was almost like,
Speaker:Well, you don't know what you're talking about, 'cause you're just a kid,
Speaker:you don't know what... Right, yet, we are gonna make the decisions for
Speaker:you because you're only 11 or 12 or whatever.
Speaker:And that's where the past that's being taken away and we forget how
Speaker:powerful we are, because as we know with kids... I mean,
Speaker:I look at my kids, they're more connected, especially when we're younger,
Speaker:we're more connected to something greater than we haven't gone into the
Speaker:go extent that we find ourselves in as adults, and so they are
Speaker:actually... I look at my kids, my kids. My greatest teachers,
Speaker:they have been my greatest teachers and continue to be...
Speaker:And it's interesting, it reminds me of I was in conversation with a
Speaker:guy on my podcast side, and he was a black guy,
Speaker:and it was a rapper, and he was saying... He was young,
Speaker:but all my God, so wise. And he was saying, Oh,
Speaker:he was telling me a story about his six year old niece that
Speaker:was sharing something profound about the way that inequality and he said,
Speaker:Don't let anyone ever tell you that your opinion and what you say
Speaker:doesn't camp because you are the leader you are the future
Speaker:of the world. And if we look at the state of the world
Speaker:right now, our kids, that generation, they're the leaders coming through
Speaker:and what they're experiencing and what they're witnessing, I'll be fascinated
Speaker:to see how the world changes as a result of them leaving through
Speaker:a pandemic. Yes. Because again, going back to the question I asked you,
Speaker:these are the values and circumstances that they're growing up with,
Speaker:so of course they can't help but influence how they
Speaker:become as adults, how they operate. And how they change the world,
Speaker:how they change the way that we educated big institutions, employment,
Speaker:it's gonna be very... It's gonna be fascinating. Yeah. Well, in every generation
Speaker:says that. About the kids who, right. Of course, this is a
Speaker:different different than our generation was growing up with, for sure.
Speaker:And they're gonna be far more resilient as a result,
Speaker:but then there's also the contrast and the polarity of there's gonna be
Speaker:a lot more mental illness, anxiety, depression as a result of these external
Speaker:circumstances. So it's a really interesting, 'cause I think we shared it
Speaker:when we connected was one of the reasons why
Speaker:I felt so compelled to follow that node three years ago that had
Speaker:me choose to leave my marriage, was to leave a legacy for my
Speaker:boys, and the legacy of what it looks like and
Speaker:what it looks like to live from our whole hearts,
Speaker:and so I know in doing that, that the values that I'm instilling,
Speaker:that they can see is the value of living
Speaker:in alignment with what is highest and best from our whole hearts the
Speaker:value of courage, the value of honesty and the value of integrity...
Speaker:Values are such a big part of what I do and actually the
Speaker:work that I do with clients now, because when we actually know how...
Speaker:When we know what our values are and we commit to them,
Speaker:life really does get easier and more peaceful and more enjoy and inflow.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah. And that's the thing, is that it's the matter of getting
Speaker:clear, once you have that clarity, you can move forward with purpose and
Speaker:confidence and courage, not that it's gonna be a piece of cake necessarily,
Speaker:it's still gonna be challenging, but you have this certainty in you...
Speaker:That you know you're moving in the right direction. Yeah, and you and
Speaker:I work with clients on that too, in the program that I run,
Speaker:the F being fine and having experience. Yeah,
Speaker:but helping people from start out, getting clarity and then taking them
Speaker:through 'cause there's really nothing else you can do
Speaker:if you don't have clarity, like everything I feel like comes from that
Speaker:place... Right, that's what you're saying too. Getting clear on your values,
Speaker:getting clear on your values, getting clear on and what is pulling you
Speaker:out of being an alignment, getting clear on your beliefs like you were
Speaker:sharing before, because as we know, we're either creating from belief,
Speaker:so we're creating from heart, so clear, clear clear the more...
Speaker:The clearer I got, the more aware I got of me and what
Speaker:let me up, what pulled me out of my center...
Speaker:What were those stories that I've been telling myself? The more clear I
Speaker:got, like the more I knew me, the more I could be with
Speaker:me, the more I could honor me, the more I could back me,
Speaker:then that transformed and continues to transform into the way that I show
Speaker:up, particularly in relationship. Yes, yes. And teasing out
Speaker:your values versus those values that were instilled in you by other people
Speaker:who are... That are not your values, that are somebody else's values,
Speaker:but they were programmed into you. Yeah. So
Speaker:certainly the value of hard work, which I've completely...
Speaker:I've had to... I'm still breaking away because it's interesting that one
Speaker:of the things in lock down that's showing me is that I'm still...
Speaker:There's still something that that is underneath the surface that's telling
Speaker:me driving me that I need to be doing more,
Speaker:because I've grown up in a family where it's all about achieving success,
Speaker:and so to be an entrepreneur and to be in a state of
Speaker:flow where life is working for you, which is the complete antithesis of
Speaker:working hard, I'm still bumping up against that. I am with you,
Speaker:Lisa. And then add on top of that, I'm a Capricorn,
Speaker:so mountain goats were always climbing... It's difficult.
Speaker:Yeah, and. Conscious awareness, but that conscious awareness and that clarity
Speaker:on what the things that have us, that have had us being driven,
Speaker:motivated, unconsciously is what then helps us to change that quick and
Speaker:that refractory period where we can return to
Speaker:being in alignment. Yeah, and isn't it interesting that awareness is just
Speaker:the first step because clearly you and I are both aware
Speaker:and we're still... And I'm sure many of my listeners as well still
Speaker:doing the thing, we're still pushing ourselves to work harder and achieve
Speaker:more and be more productive, and even though we know
Speaker:that being in the flow is the better way to be the more
Speaker:natural... And so is not the dance of remembering and forgetting,
Speaker:and so even as you're saying that might like My hack and feel
Speaker:my heart opening because I... It's the remembering. And then each time I
Speaker:remember, that's where I was and I am compassionate and so soft and
Speaker:gentle with myself... I love that. Okay, we are. It's okay.
Speaker:And then hands again on my body or my heart, during like I
Speaker:just really wanna know. You call that, and every time I catch myself
Speaker:out of my center, out of my heart, it's another opportunity to expand
Speaker:more into love of self and a state of love.
Speaker:So it's a dance, isn't it? Yes, yes, and I'm remembering something that
Speaker:you said in our conversation earlier about the legacy that you wanted to
Speaker:leave or that you want to leave, it
Speaker:stems from a leading from the heart, that is absolutely...
Speaker:I am getting emotional again, but I had to be so disconnected,
Speaker:so actually disconnected from self and heart to know the contrast,
Speaker:to know what it felt like to know the experience of walking the
Speaker:path back home, that is such an important point you're making...
Speaker:Because I could read it. We can all read how to do it,
Speaker:but to do each full self to experience it, to know how hard
Speaker:it is, the challenges you're gonna bump up against the stories you're gonna
Speaker:get bumped up against the fear you're gonna bump up...
Speaker:Stood shared a Zen problem with me last week after I shared my
Speaker:story, and he said, the obstacles are not of the party,
Speaker:obstacles are the path, and I really love that because it's that reminder
Speaker:that life is always happening us and those obstacles are the gifts for
Speaker:us to go back to return, to extract the wisdom from them,
Speaker:through the healing, through the meeting, essentially the healing is in
Speaker:these stories we love and compassion and presence.
Speaker:And I would add potentially welcoming, welcoming the obstacles
Speaker:as a gift, as difficult as that sounds like it would be,
Speaker:admittedly. But what if we could look at it that way.
Speaker:Which I think it happens the more we cultivate the practice of returning
Speaker:to the obstacle guy... Oh my goodness, if it wasn't for that,
Speaker:I would not be... If it wasn't for every single obstacle along the
Speaker:way, you and I would not be in conversation, I would not be
Speaker:enjoying the connections that I now have with people, I would not be
Speaker:feeling more and more in Flow, I would not be able to meet
Speaker:my humanity in a way that I can... If it wasn't for every
Speaker:single step along the way, I would not be parenting my boys in
Speaker:a way that I feel... I'm changing the way... One of my mentors,
Speaker:and I've worked with her, is really healing generational wounds and passions
Speaker:in order to transform the way generations, 'cause as I change past generations,
Speaker:future generations change all at the same time.
Speaker:So I know that the work that I'm doing on myself in healing
Speaker:these patterns is changing in both directions, past and future, and that
Speaker:for me feels that that's the legacy. That is
Speaker:such a good point. And just goosebumps because that's so...
Speaker:Yeah, profound sounds a little dramatic, but really it is.
Speaker:And it's then when we can really get that as we
Speaker:heal our patterns and our wounds, that that actually is what we all
Speaker:want as parents, as love as his friends, is to be the greatest
Speaker:friend... The greatest lover, the greatest parent. So there is no question
Speaker:whatsoever by doing the work on self, that actually that is the greatest
Speaker:gift right now in the world that we can be joined the greatest...
Speaker:It is the greatest, yes. That changes the perspective on how you see
Speaker:everything that happens, so when you look at
Speaker:past relationships, past pretty much relationships, whether it's a spouse
Speaker:with a spouse with a parent, with people at a career,
Speaker:whatever, healing those or... Yeah, healing yourself. Heal those relationships,
Speaker:but I love what you just said about
Speaker:you wouldn't be doing this work if it weren't for those relationships happening
Speaker:in the first place... It's a whole different
Speaker:way of looking at it. Yeah, it's more compassionate.
Speaker:I was sharing with you before we jumped on recording that we're back
Speaker:in it... We're back in lock down in Melbourne and homeschooling,
Speaker:and there is a lot of tension in the home
Speaker:because I've got three boys and they've had months and months and months
Speaker:of homeschooling, and one of my boys is in his own internal world,
Speaker:he's got lots of stuff that he is going to have to work
Speaker:through if he chooses to work through it in this lifetime,
Speaker:but because of the tension, it's triggering his
Speaker:pain, and so I'm the one that gets attacked, and so what I'm
Speaker:seeing now is somebody sitting at... I hope you're being really kind and
Speaker:compassionate with yourself, I'm like, Oh, it's another opportunity to up
Speaker:level, because it's not to say that his words are not hurting because
Speaker:I've obviously taken personally, but it's actually my body 'cause I'm an
Speaker:impact and I'm a high, highly sensitive but it's, how can I...
Speaker:How can I hold space for my feeling as well as holding space
Speaker:for his pain in a house where we can't necessarily escape,
Speaker:it's like a pressure or... But I know there is a gift,
Speaker:when I remember and come back to center, I know that there's a
Speaker:gift for me to expand into more compassion
Speaker:and being more compassionate with me, for me, it was taking myself off,
Speaker:saying... Not saying a word. There was nothing to say, Close my dog,
Speaker:I'm going to meditate. Compassionate to me. Returning to me holding myself,
Speaker:touching my body... Okay, doing, I know that felt really, really,
Speaker:really hurtful, that felt like you were being attacked and you felt rejected...
Speaker:I've got you. I'm not rejecting you, like just returning,
Speaker:then softening into myself to then be able to within half and hour
Speaker:go out and hold space for him. And you know what,
Speaker:he never comes back and apologizes, and I've had to work around that
Speaker:because I was raised saying If you ever did anything wrong,
Speaker:you go and apologize, and so I just learned to do that,
Speaker:but I have a son that doesn't choose to do that,
Speaker:but then he changes his actions and he's saying, Thank you so much,
Speaker:that was a dilution derail, you don't have to drive me here and
Speaker:I know... And so the last thing I'm going to do,
Speaker:'cause I know what that was like. I was his 17 year old
Speaker:spraying my pain on to my parents, now I'm transforming it because I'm
Speaker:not responding, I'm not responding with my own fear, my own hurt,
Speaker:my projection of my own pain back onto him, which explodes,
Speaker:I'm transmitting it by loving him and showing him, that no matter where
Speaker:he is, no matter what he does to me, I
Speaker:still love him. Yese, yes. You just mentioned meditation.
Speaker:What are the tools that you have used
Speaker:to move from where you were when everything was just fine,
Speaker:to where you are now... Whoa, okay. So what the tools that I
Speaker:use for me, so not the tools that I can get from somebody
Speaker:else. Okay, so meditation. You use meditation. So meditation, so
Speaker:I use kinesiology, that was somebody outside of me, but then I went
Speaker:and trained as a kinesiology, so that became a qualification 'cause I needed
Speaker:it for my own journey. Meditation, I've been meditating for 89 years now,
Speaker:and I have a mantra, so I'm a valid meditator, that is my
Speaker:go to, and I meditate 20 minutes twice a day. I crave,
Speaker:especially right now, it's almost like I'm craving more of that,
Speaker:more of just to return, because I know that the more I can
Speaker:do that, the more a leader, that I can be
Speaker:more grounded, more centers in my heart, so meditation.
Speaker:Breath is huge, and breath for me is just returning to breath constantly
Speaker:throughout the day, and then my heart practice, which is an ongoing
Speaker:throughout the day, I'm constantly... My hand is often back on my chest,
Speaker:returning... Centering, how can I see this differently?
Speaker:I'm here, whatever it is. It's returning to heat. Returning to her for
Speaker:me is, it's just... It happens so often during the day,
Speaker:it's such a practice, such a habit of mine.
Speaker:And then I have AFT, which I use when if I'm in a
Speaker:really heightened state, I'm an EFT practitioners self him in a really Hidatsa,
Speaker:I'll use that. I use essential oils. I feel like I'm a yes
Speaker:and a big part, which I've now gone back to his movement.
Speaker:So when I was separating almost three years ago,
Speaker:I could not see meditate, my body was in such a state of
Speaker:turmoil that I was like, I cannot actually sit still... This is not
Speaker:serving me. So I use music and movement to actually move and process
Speaker:the emotions that I was feeling, and it was powerful, I'd always love
Speaker:dancing and music from a very early young age, but I'd forgotten it,
Speaker:and so it really came back very powerfully,
Speaker:and as I'm approaching my 50th next week and also the default,
Speaker:my divorce date, there's been quite a bit of grief that's come up,
Speaker:as I share with you when we were last talked,
Speaker:and I've gone back to moving my body and using music daily,
Speaker:and again, it has been really potent. But
Speaker:my daily is meditation and Brest and Hotham daily daily practices.
Speaker:The music and the movement that... Is there a specific music that you
Speaker:use, it's just something that you... Because the reason I'm asking is because
Speaker:it's reminding me of when I was in college, my roommate and I
Speaker:would be studying and you know, late at night and were tired of
Speaker:reading the same pages over and over again, and we would take a
Speaker:dance break and one in just crank up a song
Speaker:and dance around the room, nobody saw, it's just The dew of us
Speaker:looking like crazy loons, and then we would go back to studying...
Speaker:Is it like that or is there something more to it?
Speaker:So. I... So when I first started using the music,
Speaker:so my separation, I'd been to a Dr. Jospin, a retreat,
Speaker:and we were given... We were able to access the players that they
Speaker:used, now the playlist contained music of older ones, all types,
Speaker:so there was stuff that was very meditative, but
Speaker:even the meditator stuff I used as movement. Active movement. So what it
Speaker:did, what this play I did was actually I was so in tune
Speaker:where I was... It was like when a song would come on,
Speaker:I would be able to tune into whatever it was, and a memory
Speaker:or a feeling would evoke and I would move with that,
Speaker:I would move with the memory, I would move with the feeling coming
Speaker:up in my body, and that might... There were times that I'd be
Speaker:on the ground sobbing because of what I going through, and then 15
Speaker:minutes later they'd be an upbeat song, and it was just the right
Speaker:time, it wasn't like I was forcing myself to feel up,
Speaker:it was like my body was ready to get to the next stage.
Speaker:So I've actually created a playlist for the whole hard and woman,
Speaker:and I've got all types of music, I've got some slows,
Speaker:some much more deep and reflective, more up beat, like I'm trusting and
Speaker:I'm using it to work through, and so I just put it on
Speaker:and I'm trusting that whatever comes on is what actually I need to
Speaker:move to... Yes, I was gonna say, no coincidence, the Jodi Penza soundtrack
Speaker:was exactly what you needed. Right, we know that.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah. Very intuitively crafted. Curated. Yeah. Alright, speaking of
Speaker:music, what is the song now that you have on your play list
Speaker:that you listen to when you need to get
Speaker:hyped up? Charge energy. What's your son? There are so many songs that
Speaker:you want me... I had to go through my whole play list and
Speaker:now I'm like, it was a cool play one, and it's about dreams,
Speaker:and I've just forgotten the never... I'm terrible with the names of it,
Speaker:and also the... A sky full of start. Sky full of stars skill
Speaker:is that. At that one... I love that song, but then if you
Speaker:were... Sometimes, depending on how I am, I like them more deeply reflective,
Speaker:'cause then it makes me feel so alive, so it's a really tricky
Speaker:one to actually pinpoint, it doesn't have to be RIAA music for me,
Speaker:for me to feel totally connected to my heart and...
Speaker:Does that make sense? It makes complete sense, and that's an answer I
Speaker:haven't gotten before, so I don't need that really fast up because sometimes
Speaker:if I'm not in that state, it feels forced.
Speaker:Yeah. Yeah. Interesting, but I'm with you on the whole play list...
Speaker:Yeah, I just love music, so it would be hard, Sushil.
Speaker:Share my plans with you after the cold... Oh. Yes. Cool,
Speaker:okay, fantastic. Alright, so you mentioned your whole hearted
Speaker:method, your whole hearted... The playlist that you have... Or not different
Speaker:playlists. The music that you have. How can people find out more about
Speaker:that? How can people find it more about my plaistow then.
Speaker:I do the work that you do. But you mentioned before I asked
Speaker:you about the hype song, you mentioned that you had put together some
Speaker:music, we're a whole hearted. So the whole hates, if they wanna go
Speaker:on to Spotify, it's under the whole hearted woman, but there is also...
Speaker:So yes, all you can do in median, I'll share the link.
Speaker:The whole hard, I've created a body over called the whole headed for
Speaker:the whole headed woman, so it's predominantly working with women, and there
Speaker:are a couple of mines circling, 'cause they're seeing the work that I'm
Speaker:doing with their partners and seeing the... How much that's impacting their
Speaker:relationship, and so it is a 90 day program, and it is a
Speaker:very sacred, deep container, 'cause they have access to me for 90 days,
Speaker:and I take them through the process of walking them
Speaker:back home to living and embodying whole... Hears their whole heart,
Speaker:and so it's not for the faint of art,
Speaker:and it really requires deep commitment and a willingness
Speaker:to cultivate courage like we've never known before, and compassion,
Speaker:and so that's why not... I don't take on... I don't work with
Speaker:a lot of people because it does... I'm totally devoted and committed to
Speaker:the women that I work with to ensure that they do for new
Speaker:paths for themselves, because I think there's so many people that know at
Speaker:all that are still operating from the little of the mind,
Speaker:but not from heart, and really to return to her.
Speaker:It's a process, 'cause most of us don't trust...
Speaker:Don't trust our house. We don't have that connection. So
Speaker:at the same time, you're asking a lot from your clients,
Speaker:but you're not asking more than you've done for yourself, or you're asking
Speaker:them to do like you're leading them because you've done that work,
Speaker:and it is a privilege, and I get very emotional in a lot
Speaker:of Cision, my clients, because I know what it takes Larry to do
Speaker:this. And that's why I say it's really not for the faint of
Speaker:heart, because you have to be so committed
Speaker:to the process, because if you're not committed,
Speaker:we to be committed is to actually be both fading
Speaker:or in... Yeah. And that's what it takes in your program and in
Speaker:my program, to live without regrets, to live
Speaker:without regrets so that you don't die with regrets.
Speaker:And it reminds me even, and I know that I resonated so deeply
Speaker:with what you do and where you've come from, because for me,
Speaker:as I shared with you that, I knew that I was certainly inside
Speaker:my marriage, and so when I came out of that meditation and I
Speaker:decided that I could not live a life that was
Speaker:half hearted, that where I was settling like other people around me,
Speaker:and I had experienced my whole life of settling,
Speaker:and so that would have been a regret. And I think it takes
Speaker:courage to listen to those nudges so that we don't... So we don't
Speaker:live in regret, especially if things are fine,
Speaker:we can go along and be okay, because it's okay, it's not bad,
Speaker:it's okay, and. I get to the end
Speaker:and look back and say, I wish I would have... When you see
Speaker:it from a different perspective, when you are at the end of your
Speaker:life. I imagine... Because we're not there. Who knows? We're not there yet,
Speaker:but I've tried to also work and live as if...
Speaker:Okay, so when I'm 80, now I'm gonna extend it when I'm a
Speaker:100, well, I had or I didn't, or whatever, and live from that
Speaker:perspective of saying, Well then I'm going to do this thing because I
Speaker:don't want to die with regrets. And that what you just shared is
Speaker:a super powerful exercise I did years ago where I wrote my own
Speaker:legs... Like I wrote my own eulogy, and I was like,
Speaker:How do I wanna be remembered? And when we actually get really clear
Speaker:on we want to be remembered, then that can inform us as to
Speaker:what we need to do or change in order to leave that
Speaker:legacy. Yes, yes. It's almost like writing a visualization as well...
Speaker:Or creating a visualization. It's a different path to it.
Speaker:But then then you are pulled into it,
Speaker:if that's what you're visualizing, that's what you're pulled into.
Speaker:This has been such a powerful conversation, I really enjoyed it.
Speaker:Olave. The place I started, and I was like, Oh, okay,
Speaker:where are we going? Hathaway a midway, I had to show myself compassion
Speaker:'cause I was like, I could even hear the little voice,
Speaker:you didn't answer that very well, and I was like, It's okay,
Speaker:darling. Let that go like that. Gaiety, what it needed to be...
Speaker:Before we stop here again, how can people reach you is what's the
Speaker:best way, what's your website or what is the. Social... Cronyism on Instagram,
Speaker:Facebook, LinkedIn. All at La wink. So all my name, www,
Speaker:sainik dot com is my website. And if people want to email me,
Speaker:they can email me there or they can direct message on any of
Speaker:my social media channels, if they want to apply
Speaker:for a conversation to work with me, they just can send me a
Speaker:DM and I'll send them a link to the application.
Speaker:So yeah, and I'm just having to... And then YouTube, I've got my
Speaker:podcast, the good news, give that's available on YouTube and allocating
Speaker:straining vehicles. Perfect. And we will put links to all of that in
Speaker:the show notes, so thank you so much for joining me today,
Speaker:Lisa, on buying a four letter word. Thank you so much for having
Speaker:me and thank you for your questions. They had... They're gonna have me