120. Flip the Script with Yvonne Marchese

Sometimes things seem to fall apart just when you think all is going well, and sometimes it seems to happen over and over where it feels like you can never catch a break.

But what if those moments where things are no longer “fine” turn out to be springboards that move you to the next step?

Growing up, Yvonne Marchese was raised with a strong work ethic. Her father sold suits; her mother worked, even though she preferred to be a stay-at-home mom. Her father’s mantra was “Don’t be afraid to scrub a toilet”. The lesson stuck.

Yvonne’s dream was to be a theater actress. She went to college for it, working her way through school in line with her work ethic. Then she married right out of college and began doing theater in Denver while holding down the first of many “survival jobs” – but she was on her way. Everything seemed fine.

But Fine is a 4-Letter Word.

Yvonne and her husband got divorced. This was her chance! She made her way to New York City, the best place to be if you want to act in theater.

While she started acting again, she held another series of “survival jobs” that worked out quite well. Her employer gave her generous time off to pursue her dream. While on a 2-month tour, she met her second husband. They started a family, her acting career went into high gear, and everything seemed fine.

But again, Fine is a 4-Letter Word.

How could she pursue a theater career and be a mom? Now that she could make a living off theater, how did it suddenly become a “job” rather than a dream? She stopped theater, transitioning into work-from-home jobs. But with her kids different naptimes, this arrangement proved unsustainable. So she got a full-time job that lasted until the economic crash of 2008.

Once again, she was asking, “what am I going to be what I grow up?”

The next morning, she woke up and decided to become a photographer – the profession she enjoys to this day. However, at 48 she found it impossible to get out of bed and get going. She was tired and angry all the time, screaming at her kids for being “late” when SHE was the one running behind.

An introduction to Mel Robbins’ book “The 5-Second Rule” led her down the self-help path. She took up meditation, her kids noticed she was happier, and once again everything seemed fine. Until that morning she was frightened by the middle-aged woman staring back in the mirror!

In a moment, when you meet Yvonne, you’ll discover how each of these moments where things were no longer “fine” proved to be catalysts bringing her closer to her destiny. Today, she’s an “Age Agitator” on a mission to explore what it means to age playfully who believes it’s never too late to pursue a dream and that the stories we tell ourselves have tremendous power in our lives. She’s the host of Late Bloomer Living podcast and the Midlife Uprising Summit. And the author of In Full Bloom – a Guide to Aging Playfully.

Along the way, she’s had even more moments where she discovered things weren’t “fine” – but we’ll let Yvonne tell us the rest.

Yvonne’s hype song is “Just Like Fire” by P!nk.

Resources:

Invitation from Lori:

Like Yvonne, you may find your dream becomes unsustainable – or once you achieve it, suddenly it’s not what you expected. Now what?

The first step is to go to https://zenrabbit.com right now and download the 5 Easy Ways to Start Living The Sabbatical Life guide.

Once you read it, you’ll be able to understand and embrace things that, up until now, have not made sense to you. It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. The five tactics are pretty simple, but once you follow even ONE of them, you may find the answers to questions you didn’t even think to ask.

When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, then this guide is the place to start. It’s time to blaze a new trail and chart a new course!

Transcript

Lori: Hello and welcome to FINE is a 4-Letter Word. My guest today is Yvonne Marchese. I got it right!

Yvonne: You got it right!

Lori: Welcome to the show.

Yvonne: Thank you for having me, Lori. It’s awesome to be with you.

Lori: We are laughing because we were just cracking each other up before I even hit “record” so this is going to be a good episode.

Yvonne: Oh, my goodness. Watch out.

Lori: So, I got the name right. But you just told me this story. Tell me the story of when you moved to New York and then I’ll get into asking the question I always start with.

Yvonne: Oh, my goodness. So, my name looks like “Marcheese” first of all. I grew up in El Paso, Texas, which is as far west as you can go in Texas without falling into New Mexico or Mexico, and there were no Marcheses were I grew up, until a certain point in time when we realized there was another Marchese in town and we were like, “Whoa! There’s another Marchese in town!” And he had exactly the same name as my dad, Frank Marchese. What are the chances?

Anyway, grew up spelling my name for people, pronouncing my name for people if they saw it in print first, the whole thing. I grew up also wanting to be an actress and wanting to move to New York City when I was older. Oh my gosh, that was my big dream. I finally did that in my 20s and I remember going to the DMV and I was so excited to get my license and I show up to the DMV and she said, “What’s your last name?” And I said, “Marchese” and I started to spell it and she was like, “I know how to spell it.” I was like, “I am home! I have arrived! This is my place. These are my people.” Yep, there you go.

Lori: That’s awesome. So, speaking of growing up, that leads right into that first question. What are the values and beliefs that you were raised with that contributed to you becoming who you became as a young adult and who you’ve now developed into?

Yvonne: I think whenever somebody asks me that question, Lori, the first thing that comes to my mind is work ethic. My parents very much believe in you work hard, you get what you work for kind of thing. My dad grew up in Poughkeepsie, New York. He was a houseboy. My grandfather on my dad’s side was a milkman, delivered milk the old-fashioned way with a horse and buggy and my dad worked with him on the back of that and helped with the horse. My dad was like “don’t be afraid to scrub a toilet”. I remember him saying that a lot.

My mom worked the whole time that I was growing up. She didn’t want to be a working mom. It was out of necessity. She really would have preferred to be a stay-at-home mom, but I did watch her go and do that. I also watched her go back to school when she was in her 40s to get her Associate’s Degree because education was also important to my parents. Neither of them had a college degree in the end. They didn’t have the Bachelor’s. But they did feel like education was really important and encouraged us to work hard, to get the good grades. My dad was always like, “Do you want to be digging ditches?” I remember that coming up a lot. He’s not worried about scrubbing toilets, but he did not want to dig ditches.

Lori: Right. There’s a line I am not willing to cross. I work inside, not outside.

Yvonne: That’s exactly it. He loved men’s clothing, loved the finer things in life, and he actually sold really high-end men’s clothing. He had his own store for a while but he also was the general manager of a men’s suit store. All the big Muckety-Mucks in in town came to him to buy their suits and stuff like that.

Lori: I’ve got to ask: is that why he moved to El Paso? You just said he grew up in New York but you grew up in El Paso and he was selling men’s clothing. I don’t take El Paso as the mecca for high fashion.

Yvonne: No. My dad served in the military after the Korean War. He actually served in Japan, though. Go figure. So, once he was done in Japan they sent him to Fort Bliss in El Paso, Texas. He loved the sunshine and the weather. He loved golf. Basically, he stayed for the golf; let’s just put it that way. Every day, he was like, “If I never have to shovel snow again in my life …” He liked to be outdoors to play golf but that was about it for my dad.

Lori: All good. So, how did that work ethic and value of education play out in your life? Did you go to college?

Yvonne: I did. I ended up staying home to go to college, worked my way through school. I got my degree in theatre and I worked full time as a waitress the whole time I was doing that. So, I would get up and go to work in the mornings and then go to class and then go to rehearsals and then go study and then sleep for a little bit and get up and do the same thing the next day. That was college for me.

Lori: How did you get yourself to New York? You said that was always a dream to get to do that. Did you just one day go, all right, I’m following this dream. Here I go!

Yvonne: That could be a longer story, Lori. So, I got married too young, let’s just say. Right after I graduated from college I married a guy that I had been friends with in high school and we had connected again my last year of college. I had always had a crush on him from the moment I met him but I had a boyfriend in high school also. We just never connected in that way but we were really good friends. He taught me how to drive a stick shift.

Lori: Important skill.

Yvonne: Great guy. We ended up falling in love, getting married. He wanted to be a police officer. When it came time to figure out where I was going after school, I was hesitant to have him move to New York to be a police officer in New York, even though that was where I really wanted to go. But we thought let’s try Denver. Go figure. Let’s try Denver. Denver seems like a great place to live and maybe that will be that.

I ended up going to Denver and I did a lot of theatre in Denver. I did a lot of really fun, amazing … When I was there, there was a great theatre scene there that was not professional theatre, but I would say a step above community. There was some really good work going on in town. And I started working right away. So, I worked whatever job I was at during the day and then I went and did theatre at night.

The marriage started to suffer because I wasn’t around much. There were other issues there, too, and in the end he didn’t really like me doing theatre, even though he knew that was what I had always wanted to do.

Eventually, it was time. So, we divorced and I spent a year working to save enough money to move to New York, studying up on New York. I didn’t know anybody there, I didn’t know anything about it and I didn’t have a job lined up. So I did a lot of research on what it was like to be an actor in New York and what I could expect.

I sold everything I owned and put my cat in the car with me and drove across country to Maine. Go figure. Because again, I didn’t have a place lined up in New York yet, so my aunt said, “Come to Maine where we are and you can stay with us for a little bit while you look.” I was like, “Oh, that sounds great!” So, I did.

I stayed with them for a month, went and visited the one person I knew in New York who was a playwright, whose plays I had done in Denver. He and his wife graciously put me up for a week in their loft bed of their living room in Greenwich Village. I hit the streets that week and found a roommate through a roommate service. It was crazy. And I found the best roommate a person could possibly have. Everything just fell into place. It was crazy.

Lori: That is when you know you’re doing the right thing. Everything is lining up. That’s the universe saying, “You’re on the right track. Keep going.”

Yvonne: Yeah. It definitely did. Once I actually made the move into the city I instantly got into a show. I got a temp job working as a receptionist. I had no administrative skills at this point in my life. I was actually afraid of computers and tech and anything having to do with any of that. But I got this job as a receptionist because somebody was out on maternity leave. That turned into the guy moving to another location and taking me with him as an admin. Okay, I know nothing about being a secretary. Are you sure you want me?

He was like, “Yep, you’ll learn. Come with me.”

And that was how my entry into New York went. It was charmed.

Lori: Well, yes, and backing up, everything was falling into place because you were on the right path and you had to take all of those actions. You didn’t just get to your friend’s house in New York and Greenwich Village and sit there waiting for opportunities to show up for you. You were out hustling, which not a big fan of the hustle and grind but you were taking inspired action which is different.

Yvonne: Yeah. I was living the dream, Lori. Literally, living the dream.

Lori: Right. You were excited to be taking the actions.

Yvonne: Oh yeah!

Lori: That’s, again, another sign of when you’re on the right path for you. You’re excited to take the actions.

Yvonne: Yeah, absolutely.

Lori: Very cool. Well, since the show is called FINE is a 4-Letter Word, I want to skip ahead a bit to the time in your life when—I mean, there’s been several, obviously, when you were in the marriage, the first marriage. Everything was fine for a little while until it wasn’t. But the story that we talked about …

You didn’t stay a secretary for the whole time. You’re a photographer.

Yvonne: When you’re an actor, you cobble together these little survival jobs so that you can go do what you really want to do. I worked my way up. I eventually ended up being a personal assistant to a CEO of a hedge fund, but he let me go out and audition and I even left for a couple of months and went and did a summer’s worth of theatre somewhere in New Jersey. I don’t know. I did the jobs that allowed me to do what I really wanted to do.

My experience was all over the place and anything that I learned, I learned on the job. It was crazy.

Lori: Did you ever feel like, when you were doing that, maybe this acting thing isn’t going to work out and I should just really focus on this main thing that I’m doing?

Yvonne: No. Until I did. Until I was done with acting. And that was because of motherhood. Motherhood changed me essentially. My current husband, my second good chance, I met him on tour. We did a national tour of basically “The Miracle Worker” and we traveled the whole country for three-and-a-half months. We both were pursuing acting careers. We were together for five years before we got married. By then, I was in my mid-30s and my love of theatre had become tainted with this whole pursuit of having to audition, always being at the beck and call of somebody. Do I need to be available for a project? I didn’t feel like I could go on a vacation. I didn’t feel like I could cut my hair, because if I cut my hair, I’d have to go get new headshots.

Blah-blah-blah.

All the things that I had loved about doing theatre when I was in Denver, those had all been tainted with the idea of suddenly trying to make a living at it.

Lori: Which you hear a lot from professional athletes, for example. They play for the love of the game, but then once they turn pro, now it’s a job. It’s not as fun anymore.

Yvonne: Yeah. And the job is actually auditioning. The job isn’t doing theatre. The job is going and hoping that somebody will give you the chance to do theatre.

So, we ended up getting married. We went down to grad school after we had our first child. Our first one was eight months old when we went down to DC and he got a graduate degree in classical acting. When he was done with that program, which was an intensive one-year program, I went out and started auditioning again and I would geta call back for a show and then he was getting call-backs for shows.

I realized I’m done. I’m done. I don’t want to put my energy here. I had put all my energy into that and it’s a good bit of energy to get out and get productions, to learn lines, to do things the way I love to do them. I realized I did not have that energy to give anymore and I really wanted to give it over to being a mom.

But then I was like … Who am I?

Lori: Who am I? Do you remember that line from The Breakfast Club when they’re sitting … What’s that guy’s name? I can picture him. The one with the red hair. He was sitting with the pen on his lip because they had to write those essays and he’s like, “Who am I?”

Yvonne: Yes.

Lori: Every time I hear somebody say, “I was questioning who am I,” I think of The Breakfast Club.

Yvonne: Oh, my gosh. I love that movie. We just watched it again recently and I’m having a hard time remembering his name, too. Anthony something.

Lori: Anthony Michael Hall.

Yvonne: Yes. I had a massive … What’s the thing when you don’t know who you are? What’s that word, Lori?

Lori: Identity crisis.

Yvonne: Yes. I had a massive identity crisis when I stopped doing theatre and suddenly became a mom. I had always known what I wanted to do and put every bit of my energy into that and suddenly I was like …. And I love being a mom, but I knew that wasn’t everything. So there was this what is there about Yvonne just as a person? Who am I? I don’t know.

What ended up happening is I was doing some work from home stuff to cobble together some money while he was in grad school. We had our second child and that then was like, oh, I can’t work from home when they nap anymore because there’s two of them on different nap schedules. This is not working.

So I went back and got a full-time job. It was, again, a survival job. I got promoted. I was there for four months. Three months there, promoted for the last month and laid off in 2008 when everything tanked. I came home from that. I remember it was Halloween. I turned to my husband and I’m like, “What am I going to be when I grow up?”

He said, “You’re going to figure it out.”

And this was after five years of asking myself this question.

Lori: A lot of people go through that and I think a lot of people don’t realize that it’s common. People feel like “I’m the only one going through this. Why can’t I figure this out? What’s wrong with me that I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up?” But it’s so common.

Yvonne: It’s horrible. It was not an easy journey. But what literally happened, Lori, is I woke up the next morning and I turned to my husband and I said, “Photography. I want to be a photographer.” It came out of nowhere.

He was like, “Oh, okay.”

I had been trying to take good pictures with my little point-and-shoot camera and failing miserably because I knew what I liked and I wasn’t able to do it. He was like, “Okay.”

We had a little bit of credit left on our credit card. I bought my first real camera. I enrolled in a study from home program and I went on a massive job search so we could make money and find another survival job. But I started doing photography.

And that saved me because, suddenly, I could make something I thought was beautiful, after I learned. I could make beautiful photos without a gatekeeper, without somebody having to cast me in a part. I could pick up my camera anytime I wanted to and point it at something and try to take a good picture and practice my craft on my own. You can’t do that as an actor.

Lori: You can’t do that in a lot of different occupations, where you’re waiting for somebody else to choose you. Now you could choose yourself.

Yvonne: Right. Whether or not I was making money at it didn’t matter.

Lori: Right. And still be creative, which is probably what your soul was longing for.

Yvonne: Yeah. I’m going to fast forward us, Lori, to a little bit later on because I was 40 when that happened. I slowly worked, worked, worked on the side doing little side gig thing with photography. Finally got to the point where I went full time and that took me somewhere between six and eight years; I don’t know.

So, now I’m 48. I’ve got my full-time photography business. I’m doing what I love. And still I was not … There was something missing and I didn’t know what it was. I was tired all the time and maybe a little angry and a little depressed. I didn’t want to get up in the morning. I would hit the snooze button. We’d be late getting my kids to school and I’d be yelling at them because they’re late. I’m like: what’s the real problem here? That hit me one day.

Lori: That was before Taylor Swift wrote the song. It’s me. I’m the problem.

Yvonne: It’s me. I’m the problem. It’s me. Right. One morning we were running late and I’m yelling at my kid. Where’s your backpack? Where’s your lunchbox? Come on, let’s go. By the time we got down to the car, I looked in the rearview mirror and I saw that he had big, fat tears in his eyes. I was like, “Wow, I’m the one having a tantrum here and I’m almost 50 years old. Why don’t I have my shit together? What is wrong with me?”

Again, my husband—God bless him. At one point—it wasn’t the same day but not too far from there—I started doing a lot of self-helpy stuff and he’s like, “I heard this great Audible book by this woman, Mel Robbins called The 5-Second Rule. You should listen to it.” We had the account and I’m like, “Okay.”

She’s talking about not hitting the snooze button and so much of what she was talking about I could completely relate to and I thought, okay, maybe I’m going to stop—no maybe. I’m going to stop hitting the snooze button. I’m going to try a 30-day experiment of getting up before my kids every day. I’m going to meditate, finally. I had always intended to meditate every day but never did. I’m going to finally do yoga or some form of exercise every day because I had been fooling myself about how much I was exercising. I thought I was exercising but I really wasn’t. Okay, 30 days of this, time to myself.

Lori: “I belong to a gym but I never go.”

Yvonne: Let’s just see what 30 days does, who knows? It was really hard because I am not a morning person, let me just say that. But I did it. I set the alarm across the room, and after a couple of weeks, I actually started feeling pretty good. I don’t know how long it was before my son—the same son in the back of the car with the big, fat crocodile tears. I went to wake him up one morning and he said, “You seem happier, mom.” He had no idea what I was doing. That was everything I needed to hear to say, “Okay, you’re on the right path.”

Lori: You just mentioned a bunch of things that you were going to start doing in the 30 days. So, you put the alarm clock on the other side of the room and you woke up on time. Were you meditating during those 30 days, doing yoga, working out? That’s a lot of stuff. Some people would feel overwhelmed with that much of doing all of those things at one time.

Yvonne: The meditation and the exercise really isn’t that much. I would do 20 minutes of meditation. I got up an hour before my kids, basically. I would meditate anywhere from 10-20 minutes, depending on how much time I actually had. Then I would move my body somehow. That was my commitment to myself. Move your body, meditate. Those two things essentially …

There were some other things I started journaling and affirmations and visualizations, and some of that all fit in while the exercise was happening. I was throwing all the stuff at it on that morning routine. But it was working I kept going with it and I didn’t feel overwhelmed with it because I felt better.

And this is the crazy thing. When I started to feel better, I was like, oh, I feel better now that I’m almost 50 than I felt all through my 40s. I have more energy. I’m excited. Now I’m looking at my next 20 or 30 years and going, “Huh, I wonder what’s next.”

Lori: Yeah. What else is possible?

Yvonne: Not like, “What am I going to be when I grow up?” But like, “Ooh! What am I going to be when I grow up?"

Lori: Yeah. You’re okay with not knowing because you know it’s going to be good whatever it is.

Yvonne: Yeah. Or it has that possibility, at least. It was like, oh, I don’t know if I’m going to want to do photography when I’m 70 or 80, at least not the way I do it now because it’s pretty physical. So, what else might I do?

When I started to get curious, I started going, “Oh!” I was telling myself it was all over. I was telling myself I was too old and that I was a failure and it was all downhill. And when I had that realization that I had all that trash talk in my head about my age … Because I was looking in the mirror going, “Who the hell is that? Who is that old lady? Because that’s not me.” And just horrified.

Then I had bunions on my feet and bursitis in my shoulder and it’s all old people stuff, Lori!

Lori: Wait a second, I’ve had bunions since high school.

Yvonne: Oh okay. But for me I equated that with an old lady thing.

Lori: I remember my grandmother’s feet were severely deformed, toes going all the way sideways.

Yvonne: All this stuff started to come up in my 40s. So, for me, I equated that with I’m getting old; it’s all downhill from here. When I realized that I was actually feeling better than I had for years, that was hopeful to me. And when I realized it’s this mental chatter going, “You’re old, you’re old, you’re old.” If I lose my phone or my keys, I’m having a senior moment, ha-ha.

That kind of talk … They’re doing research now to show that fear of aging actually affects your health.

Lori: Yes. That makes complete sense. But most people accept what you just said as, well, that’s just how it is. Oh, a senior moment. That’s part of our vernacular and nobody questions it.

Yvonne: Right. And I started to question it. And then I got really excited and I started thinking I wonder if other people feel the way I do. I was listening to a ton of podcasts. I was trying to build my photography business. I was listening to podcasts about building a business, personal branding because I was doing personal branding photography for people, and self-help things and all the things. Podcasts, podcasts, podcasts. I was steeped in them. Loved them.

What if I did a podcast about this? What if other people are limiting themselves, too? Two years it took me to do it because I don’t know how to do a podcast, I don’t have the money to pay somebody to edit or teach me how to do it. I’m a mom with kids that are pretty busy and I have a photography business that I need to grow. No.

But what I really realized after two years is the main thing limiting me was my own sense of who would want to listen to me and pure imposter syndrome. And when I realized that, okay, that’s it. No. I’m going to draw the line in the sand and say that it doesn’t matter if I have a successful podcast. What’s going to matter here is what I learned from doing it and how I end up growing and maybe I can help somebody else by telling other people’s stories who felt like they were done and it was all over and found their way around that point in their life in midlife and have gone on to discover new things about themselves. So that was how the podcast got started.

Lori: I love that. It’s paying attention to the thing that keeps coming up for you and keeps coming up and it’s not going to go away until you pay attention to it.

Yvonne: Oh my gosh, it wouldn’t go away. It was a little voice in the back of my head: do the podcast, do the podcast.

Lori: Hey, when are you starting that podcast? When are you starting that podcast?

Yvonne: Yeah.

Lori: I have a similar story. It wasn’t so much I was afraid of … It wasn’t “who’s going to want to listen”? It was sort of that but it wasn’t about the imposter syndrome stuff so much as there are already so many podcasts; how do I fit into the marketplace and who’s going to want to listen to another podcast?

Yvonne: Yeah, it was definitely part of it.

Lori: Not that it was about me, but there’s already so much. But what I didn’t realize is that most podcasts done even survive past seven episodes, so there are millions of podcasts that have been started but not many that have made it to more than 100 episodes, which yours has, too, right?

Yvonne: Yeah. I’m at 161. It’s been over three years.

Lori: Congratulations.

Yvonne: Congratulations, Lori. And while we pat ourselves on the back, I’ll have to say—I don’t know about you but starting the podcast literally changed my life. It has made me realize that the entire time the one throughline through everything that I loved doing as far as being an actress, being a photographer and now having a podcast, is that I am a storyteller. That is why I did theatre. That is why I wanted to do theatre is to tell stories where people can see themselves, and in seeing themselves they can lead better lives. And it has led to me meeting people like you. It has led to me meeting a bunch of other people who are looking at aging with excitement and possibility instead of “everything is downhill from here”. I started speaking. I just wrote a book. I’m like, who is this?

I was terrified of public speaking before I started the podcast. The podcast was safe because there was no video. It was a one-on-one conversation with a guest. I’m telling their story. It wasn’t about me.

But now I’m ready to go talk about this thing. I’m ready to talk about how ageism limits us when we are ageist to ourselves. I am ready to get out in the world and just talk about this thing.

Lori: Right. That’s the key thing you just said is when we tell ourselves these stories. I don’t believe that something out there is limiting people who are in their 40s and 50s, the Gen-X or older. I hear a lot of people talking about ageism and I haven’t experienced it. I don’t feel like I’ve experienced it. I don’t know how much of that is other people putting the stuff on us versus us putting it on us.

Yvonne: I have to say I think it’s both and you have to understand that I’m coming from a career where once you’re past—especially as a female performer, once you’re past early 20s, you are on the downhill slope. So there is that.

But it’s not just that. There was another job that I had I was let go from. They ended up hiring a much younger woman to take my place who lived in Ohio. I live in Fairfield County, Connecticut, where things are expensive. They could pay her less and everything else.

In the end, me getting laid off from that job, there was a touch of it. Do you know what I mean?

Lori: Yeah.

Yvonne: I met other people who … This wonderful woman I met during the pandemic had lost her job and it was all pandemic related. She had a job hunt that went on for at least a year and she was a highly, highly qualified person for the work that she was doing. It’s just harder. It is out there.

We’re all so steeped in it, I think we don’t even know when we’re being ageist against other people and against ourselves.

Lori: Interesting. I come back to if we are looking at things as everything is happening for me, then it changes our perspective on everything. So even if you are facing ageism and you look at it as “this is happening for me” because it’s giving you an opportunity maybe to go out on your own and do the thing that you’ve been wanting to do but have been afraid to.

Yvonne: 100%.

Lori: And now you’re not getting a job because the universe is directing you to do the thing.

Yvonne: I have decided that I am unemployable.

Lori: Yeah, me too.

Yvonne: I take great pride in that now. I am ready to step into whatever it’s going to take for me to be an entrepreneur. I never thought of myself that way before. And here I am 55 years old going, okay, I am an entrepreneur. I’m putting my flag in the ground and I’m staking that claim.

For a while there, I felt like I was too old for anybody to employ me, but now I’ve flipped that script. When we can do that, when we can flip the script, that’s where the power is.

Lori: Right. Exactly. I love that. And taking the responsibility, which I think, again, that’s a whole other conversation we could get into. A lot of people don’t want to have to take responsibility for themselves in any capacity, in terms of their health, in terms of their career, whatever. But that’s the only way you really find the joy is to take responsibility for finding the joy.

Yvonne: Yeah. It’s uncomfortable.

Lori: Yes.

Yvonne: And I’ll say this about getting older. My theory is that as we get older, we want less and less and less to be uncomfortable.

Lori: Well, sure, because we’re tired of being uncomfortable, for God’s sake.

Yvonne: Right!

Lori: Can I just have it a little bit easier?

Yvonne: But that’s where the juice is. If you can move through the discomfort and stay curious about what’s possible or what’s next or, okay, I’ve come up against a wall instead of, oh, this is happening to me. That’s when, if you get curious, it’s what is in this for me? What can I learn from this?

If you can ever get curious about anything, I think it gives you power.

Lori: Right. Yes. Love it. This has been such a good conversation.

Yvonne: Oh, my gosh.

Lori: We could be here all afternoon.

Yvonne: I know. I could talk to you forever.

Lori: What is the name of your podcast for my listeners?

Yvonne: It’s called Late Bloomer Living.

Lori: Okay. And it’s available on all the podcast apps.

Yvonne: Everywhere.

Lori: So, once you finish listening to this, go add that. Hit the “follow” button on mine and then go over Yvonne’s and hit the “follow" button on hers.

Yvonne: I think that’s great advice. Go do that, people.

Lori: Also, it would be great if you would leave a comment and a review.

Yvonne: Yes!

Lori: I’ll take that, thank you very much.

Yvonne: Way to ask for it. I love it.

Lori: If someone wants to continue a conversation with you, where do they find you? Then I got another question for you after that.

Yvonne: You can find me at Late Bloomer Living. I also have a community called The Age Agitator Club. I am the President of The Age Agitator Club.

Lori: Age Agitators, I freaking love that.

Yvonne: Yeah. My email is all over the place on there. I love hearing from people. There’s even a little place for people to go leave a message for me. Right there on the website, they can hit a little button and leave me a voicemail. Go do that.

Lori: Leave you a voicemail? I want that on my website.

Yvonne: Oh, it’s really cool. It’s called SpeakPipe. Check it out.

Lori: Okay, I’m getting that.

Yvonne: Very easy widget to put on there.

Lori: Okay, cool. I’m just making a note over here of that. What’s your hype song when you need that extra boost of energy?

Yvonne: Pretty much anything by Pink and I’m trying to think of the name of the song right now. Let’s just go with “Raise Your Glass” right now.

Lori: Did you see her in concert?

Yvonne: I’m dying to see her. I know.

Lori: She’s still out.

Yvonne: I know. I am going to go see her because I want to see that woman fly. I want to see her flying over my head, man.

Lori: Oh my gosh, it’s amazing.

Yvonne: Amazing.

Lori: She’s amazing.

Yvonne: Yeah. She is actually one of my biggest heroes right now. I love Pink. I want to be Pink when I grow up.

Lori: Awesome. Raise Your Glass. We’ll go with that. The whole repertoire, all of her songs.

Yvonne: I love her.

Lori: Yeah. I think if I was on a deserted island, if I could have three, Tom Petty is up there at number one I think. I never got to see him in concert, unfortunately. But Pink, it could be a tie.

Yvonne: Brandi Carlile, too. They were together this summer.

Lori: I saw her.

Yvonne: I was dying to but it was so expensive to get the tickets. I couldn’t justify spending it.

Lori: I got to, I hear you. Very cool. Thank you so much for joining me today on FINE is a 4-Letter Word.

Yvonne: Thank you so much, Lori. I loved being with you.

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