22. (S1E22) Move Your Bananas To The Belt And Say Goodbye To Anxiety with Stephanie Dalfonzo

My guest in this episode is Stephanie Dalfonzo. In her past life as an on-air radio personality – she was known as Stevie Knox. She was also the first automated voice back in the day. Stephanie and I have a lot of mutual connections, but we didn’t cross paths until recently. And I’m so glad we did.

Our conversation ranges from her use of the Law of Attraction before she even knew what it was, to learning how to cope with anxiety, which for her, started with beating the crap out of a bag of Cheetos. And from wearing metaphorical masks to witnessing miracles.

As an Integrative Hypnotist, Stephanie uses her voice to literally hypnotize her clients into making incredible life changes. Through hypnosis, she helps women entrepreneurs get out of their own way, see the possibilities of where they can go and how to get there.

For community and camaraderie, come join us in the Fine is a 4-Letter Word Facebook group.

Stephanie’s Hype Song: In the interview, she said it was Earth Wind and Fire’s “September.” But she later changed it to “Be Yourself” by Peruquois. Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFMvtBfjsVs

Website: https://stephaniedalfonzo.com/ – Get five of the techniques from her book for free!

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephaniedalfonzo/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephaniedalfonzo/

Transcript
Lori Saitz:

Hello, and welcome to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. I'm

Lori Saitz:

here today with my guest Stephanie Dalfonzo. And I am

Lori Saitz:

very happy to have you here.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Move your bananas to the belt to listen to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

your messages, press one. Lori, I was the original automated

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

voice back in the 1980s when I was celebrity radio DJ Stevie

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Knox, and back then I hypnotized my listeners to come back could

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

listen day after day. For the past 16 years. I've literally

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

used my voice to hypnotize my clients to make incredible life

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

changes. How fun is that?

Lori Saitz:

Oh, now Okay, this has never happened before where

Lori Saitz:

it's completely locked up.

Lori Saitz:

Wow. Hang on.

Lori Saitz:

Oh, are you back? I'm back. Okay, it completely locked up

Lori Saitz:

and I don't know what happened.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

And this is I swear, it's me. I had a very

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

weird video exchange with somebody the other day and we

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

could not explain it.

Lori Saitz:

Alright, well, let's try this again. Okay. Did you

Lori Saitz:

like that though? I did like that. Okay. All right. Welcome

Lori Saitz:

to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. My guest today is Stephanie

Lori Saitz:

Dalfonzo. And I am thrilled to have you with us today,

Lori Saitz:

Stephanie. Welcome.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Move your bananas to the belt. To listen

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to your messages, Press one. Lori literally, I was the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

original automated voice back in the 1980s when I was celebrity

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

radio DJ Stevie Knox. Back then, I hypnotized my listeners to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

come back day after day. For the past 16 years. I've literally

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

used my voice as an integrative hypnotist, to hypnotize my

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

clients to make incredible life changes. How fun is that?

Lori Saitz:

It's so fun. And I have the biggest grin on my face

Lori Saitz:

right now. If you're just listening to the audio, you

Lori Saitz:

can't see but trust me, it's there. You just crack me up.

Lori Saitz:

That's why I'm so excited to get into this conversation with you.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Well, good laughter is the best medicine.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

So why not laugh? Right?

Lori Saitz:

Yeah, it completely is. Let's start with what with?

Lori Saitz:

Where, where you came from? before you became the the famous

Lori Saitz:

Stevie Knox? What were the what were the beliefs and values that

Lori Saitz:

were instilled in you as a child?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

So I didn't have the happiest childhood. But

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

long, long, long before anybody was talking about law of

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

attraction, or at least long before I heard them say anything

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

about law of attraction. When I was 14 years old. I knew I was

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

going to be a radio DJ, dad. Oh, yes. At 14 years old. And I will

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

tell you, I for many reasons, I am seriously part of the lucky

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to be alive club, not the least of which that when I was 17

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

years old, I was thin. I had this long hair, I was

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

attractive. And I was hitchhiking to get to the train

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

station. So I could go to downtown Philadelphia and hang

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

out at the radio station. And so I decided I want it to be the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

next Maureen Flaherty. So I saw a pic article on her and the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Philadelphia Inquirer. And here's this picture of her thin

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

long flowy hair, queuing up a vinyl record. And I can say that

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

now because they're coming back so people do what they are. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

flash forward a few years. I'm on the radio down in South

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Florida. And I'm in the newspaper with a picture of me

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

thin, long flowy hair queuing up a vinyl record. And I had never

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

heard of the law of attraction. And so I just like I knew I was

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

going to do that. And

Lori Saitz:

I did. That's amazing. But how did you like

Lori Saitz:

what were their values that were instilled in you as you were

Lori Saitz:

growing up that gave you the the incentive to picture yourself

Lori Saitz:

doing that? Or like what No, why is it not?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

It's a really good question, because

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

I've never really delved into this. But it was not that I had,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you know, good values instilled in me. It was radio for me was

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

my escape, right? Again, dysfunctional family. And the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

radio was like calgon Take me away. And so you know, and then

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

I never, like nobody said, Oh, yeah, you could do this. You can

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

do this. I was just like, I never saw anything in my way. I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

was able to do a an internship in my senior year of high school

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

at one of the radio stations and then I was able to talk myself

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

into being hired as the recepionist, and I was not

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

equipped. I was not equipped. I was not taught like how to be a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

good employee. I had no secretarial skills. So I ended

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

up getting fired from that job. And I went, got my job as a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

secretary at another radio station. And I was told, well,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you don't start on the radio in Philadelphia. So I went down to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

South Florida to my my boyfriend had moved down there to live

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

with his father. Man, I'd never seen tropics. I mean, it was

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

like it was having gone down in the wintertime. So I came back

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

and I asked my boss, hey, do you think I could get on the radio

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

down there? And he said, Yeah, so I took it as a vote of

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

confidence. I packed up what little I own, I drove down with

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

my vinyl records on in the car topper on top of my car. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

sure enough, I got myself on the radio. Years later, I connected

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

with my boss again. And he was like, Well, no, I didn't really

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

think you could do it. I just didn't care if you stayed or

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

left.

Lori Saitz:

Wow, that's amazing how when you don't know what you

Lori Saitz:

can't do? Exactly, you can do it. And it's also interesting to

Lori Saitz:

note that you had a female role model, because there weren't a

Lori Saitz:

lot on the radio back in the day. Now, almost all of them

Lori Saitz:

were men, and but you found a woman, and then said, Oh, if she

Lori Saitz:

can do it, I can do it.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Exactly. And this is, you know, again,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

nobody's told me about the law of attraction. But then, you

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

know, years later, I'm looking back on. That is totally law of

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

attraction, huh?

Lori Saitz:

Yeah. Yeah. So fast forward a couple years. So how

Lori Saitz:

many years did you spend in radio?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

15.

Lori Saitz:

Okay. Voiceover stuff on the side.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yeah, yeah. Because I had planned on

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

starting my side hustle. And again, I had nobody telling me,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you know, you can do a side hustle. I never heard of this

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

side hustle. But I was like, Well, okay, I can get paid to do

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

radio and TV commercials. So let me build a business. So that

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

when I have kids, I don't have to work full time anymore. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

then circumstances as they were, I ended up not being able to. To

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

do that. I had to go back to work full time. But I still had

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

this side, hustle going, I did radio and TV commercials. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

that's when I did this first automated voice. And who could

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

have known, you know, we had no idea where this technology was

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

going. And here we are, all these years later. And I think,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

wow, I was really like ahead of the curve there.

Lori Saitz:

Yeah. How did you get that gig?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

It was just, you know, this guy who I did,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

voiceover work for said, you know, can you do this? And so,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you know, it's pretty much the same thing as a commercial. It's

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

just literally I'm in the studio saying, move your, and then I'm

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

going down the list alphabetically. Avocados,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

asparagus, banana.

Lori Saitz:

Every time I go to the grocery store, now I'm gonna

Lori Saitz:

think of you. I know I love every time because I do the self

Lori Saitz:

checkout, because it's just faster.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Right? Right. But do you know how many

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

people don't do the self checkout? I've had so many

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

people who are like, Alright, I get the messages. But what's

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

what's this? Move your banana to the belt?

Lori Saitz:

Ah, that's interesting. Well, that's just

Lori Saitz:

as well because then it It keeps the line shorter for me. Yeah,

Lori Saitz:

there you go. So how long so you were in South Florida? Is that

Lori Saitz:

where you met your husband?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yes, he he actually hired me. We are the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you know, you're not supposed to have a relationship with

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

somebody who's above you. Well, it happened and we are about to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

hit our 37th anniversary. Oh my god something really something

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

worked.

Lori Saitz:

Thank you. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so tell me tell me

Lori Saitz:

some of that story. I mean, you you told me but share it with

Lori Saitz:

our listeners as well when once you got how to backup you can

Lori Saitz:

cut this part out to Greg okay. So after once you how long we

Lori Saitz:

did you stay in radio for after you got married? Because then

Lori Saitz:

you started having a family and you said then you had to go back

Lori Saitz:

and work full time.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yeah. So I stayed in radio I, you know, I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

look back now and think Hmm, okay, I would probably do that

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

differently. But when we got married, you know, radio was an

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

is a very transient industry. And I said, Okay, my career will

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

follow yours. And so, okay, we ended up in Portland, Oregon,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

which is where I did my last show and that was doing the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

morning show. And that's when I learned about insomnia and I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

found myself literally at my kitchen counter, losing my * on

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

a bag of Cheetos because I was

Lori Saitz:

Just picturing this knife, like stabbing a bag of

Lori Saitz:

Cheetos.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

It was my fist. So kids weren't in danger,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

but I just, I lost it. And I share that with you. It's not my

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

my finest moment. But I share that with people. So they

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

understand that it's not me talking about oh, I wrote this

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

book, goodbye anxiety, hello, freedom. Because I'm the anxiety

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

expert. It's I learned how to be the anxiety expert out of

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

necessity. I didn't know until this happened. That was a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

defining moment in my life, I did not know I had struggled

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

with anxiety my entire life. I thought it was normal to walk

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

around with my shoulders like earrings, and to worry, but not

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

just worry about anything and everything. I always went to the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

worst case scenario, my husband would be traveling on a business

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

trip. Oh my god, what if the plane crashes? And you know, all

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

that worry. So when I went to the doctor for the insomnia,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

they said, Well, that's because of your anxiety. I was like,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

What? So I went on prescription medication, and it worked for a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

short time, and then it stopped. And so it was, you know,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

spiraling out of control even more. So then, I started looking

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

for holistic ways, like alright, I'm not going to look for ways

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

outside me, I'm going to look for how can I find ways to you

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

know, live a better life. And the first thing I learned was

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques, which most people

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

know about now, tapping, but this was back in the mid 90s. I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

now am a stay at home mom. And I'm saying, Oh my gosh, you know

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

what, I learned this new tapping technique and, and people's eyes

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

are glazing over like, Oh, okay. So I'm done with my last radio

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

job. I've learned the EFT we move cross country to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Connecticut, where we are now. And I had two choices. As far as

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

my career, I could work for the local station for minimum wage.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

I had much too big an ego to do that like that.

Lori Saitz:

Well, you had been to bigger places. Right? Why

Lori Saitz:

would you do that? Yeah.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Right. Well, but the other choice was, I'm

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

about two hours outside New York City. Oh, but then if I did that

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

somebody else would be raising my kids. So I said, All right,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

I'll stay home. Well, then we found out my husband went into

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

liver failure and needed a liver transplant or he was going to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

die. Okay, now what? All right, yeah. But now I there was a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

really, really serious chance that he was going to die. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

how was I going to raise these kids now?

Lori Saitz:

How old were they at that time?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Oh, they were young. They were still

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

early elementary school. Actually, I think my daughter,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

they were both still in elementary school. I don't

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

remember the age, the grades. So I was like, Okay, what do I do

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

this is in the early 2000s, like 2001. And still, the internet

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

was pretty new technology. But I found out I could go to school

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to be a life coach over the internet. And so I was like, oh,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

okay, so I can do that and then just occasional in persons. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

now I've started noticing that Gary Craig, the founder of EFT

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

in his newsletters would talk about these practitioners who

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

were doing EFT. And they were doing hypnosis, as I think I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

need to go look into hypnosis is pretty cool stuff. So I looked

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

and trainings I found in Connecticut where two days, like

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

God is two days school and you're like, I was like, what,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

two days? No, I don't think so. So I followed my intuition,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

which again, like my, you know, the law of attraction, I didn't

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

really know about my intuition at that point. But I had a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

little nudge to go check out this woman in New York City. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

that was the best thing I could have ever done. Because on that

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

first day, she's brilliant. Anybody I've trained with since

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

then, can't hold a candle to her. And the first day Lori, I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

felt like the skies opened the heavens were singing. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

because I really felt in my heart. It was like, Ah, this is

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

what I've been called to do. And so before that was over, I hope

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yes, it's like nothing else. And before the course was over, she

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

couldn't believe I had rented an office. I had had a website,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

which, you know, that was big back then. brochures and

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

business cards. I was just like, full on let's let's go and I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

knew it. I knew it in the depths of my soul.

Lori Saitz:

That is, that is when you know, you're when you

Lori Saitz:

know you're on the right path, what you felt from when you

Lori Saitz:

first met her. And then you didn't question anything of any

Lori Saitz:

of the other downloads. You were getting any of the other

Lori Saitz:

inspired action. You were taking you were all in, you know,

Lori Saitz:

Napoleon Hill talks about in his book thinking Grow Rich, about

Lori Saitz:

the burning desire and being fully committed. And that's when

Lori Saitz:

when The heavens heaven and earth, the whatever the universe

Lori Saitz:

starts moving in your favor, is when you are all in fully

Lori Saitz:

committed. This is what I'm doing, even when it's scary,

Lori Saitz:

although it sounds like it maybe wasn't that scary for you,

Lori Saitz:

because you just had this feeling like, I'm doing this,

Lori Saitz:

but even then sometimes it still feels scary.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Um, at the beginning of didn't, I just was

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

like, you know, same thing with the radio, it was just like,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Okay, I'm gonna do this, and I knew I was gonna do it and let

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

nothing come in my way. Then, you know, as I got into doing

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

this, and I'm witnessing miracles, Lori, like, I'm like,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

witnessing miracles you mean in your clients? Uh huh. Yeah,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

yeah. I mean, to see these miracles happen. And I started

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

getting imposter syndrome because like, Alright, wait, did

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

I really help them do that? And I know your listeners can't see

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

this. But I don't know if I showed you this the other day,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Lori. This is a picture I'm showing a picture of Sarah

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

skydiving out of an airplane. Oh, yeah. And she came to me for

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

her crippling fear of flying. Now she's skydiving, the whole

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

trajectory of her life changed at 19 years old when she came to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

me for this crippling fear of flying. She went on to build a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

very successful business as the five foot traveler. You can go

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to her website and see on her homepage, it said, I had a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

crippling fear of flying. And so that is like one of the most

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

powerful things I can share with you and your listeners is,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

that's what's possible. Right? So I'm witnessing these

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

miracles. And I'm thinking, Wait, was that me? Like? Did I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

really do that? And at the beginning of my hypnosis

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

journey, it was I was all about empowering the client. You did

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

this? You did this, you did this. And because I was trying

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to make them feel empowered. And then I finally learned at some

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

point it was, no, it's not them doing it. It's not me doing it.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

It's us co creating it. Yeah, right. Yeah. And so I think that

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

that's a more empowering approach for the client.

Lori Saitz:

Right? You're channeling this energy, they're

Lori Saitz:

open to receiving it. And you are co creating this miracle, as

Lori Saitz:

you said, yeah.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yeah. And it really is about channeling

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

because, for me, when I like really saw like, I was already

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

really, I was already really good at what I do. Melissa said,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you know, this is just like, this is who you are, this is

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

your natural, God given talents. But I still, you know, I still

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

had to stick to that structure. Alright, first, would we sit

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

here on the couch, and we do this. And then we move over to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

the hypno chair. And then at some point, I did a trust fall.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

And it was just like, you know what, let me just come into the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

moment. And when I came in, started coming into the moment,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

even more miracles were happening, and like the magic

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

was just off the charts. And so I've been working virtually for

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

five and a half years now. So I was definitely ahead of the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

curve, the world finally caught up to me a year and a half ago.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Because you can't do hypnosis, you know, not in person? Oh,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

yes, you can? Of course, because energy doesn't have barriers.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Correct? Correct. And so before I am getting on a client call, I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

am saying okay, for my angels and guides, please go connect

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

with their angels and guides. Let me be that open channel. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

it's pretty amazing.

Lori Saitz:

Yeah. Is there something that you do to keep

Lori Saitz:

that channel open?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Just keep coming into the present moment.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

And I've learned that, you know, that's where I am spiritually,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

is. Let's get the present moment. Right. And so, it's

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

certainly with my clients, but it's also reminding myself, I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

am, I am, I am. Keep coming back into the present moment. And for

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

your listeners, you know, we're all struggling with something,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you know, none of us get through this life unscathed. And so

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

what, whatever it is, you might be going through right now, if I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

would say, take one step, it would be, come to your breath,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

come to the present moment. I have a thing on my wall, short

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

moments of calm many times a day. COVID hit and I scratched

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

out a day and changed it to short moments of calm many times

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

an hour. Because when we can, when we can interrupt the stress

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

patterns. And, you know, I think collectively for a year and a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

half now, globally. We've all had our foot press down as hard

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

as we can on the accelerator, and we have to let up at points.

Lori Saitz:

Yeah, I think one of the questions that might be

Lori Saitz:

going through my listeners heads as it's going through mine is,

Lori Saitz:

you talked about having anxiety. And and now, you're completely

Lori Saitz:

an open channel. Connect those dots for me.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

That's a fabulous question. So, when I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

was living in anxiety, and not knowing it, it's almost like

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

there was a, like an electric charge, always running in the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

background. And as I have gone, you know, once I was always a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

spiritual seeker, and you know, I just wasn't hadn't found where

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

I could land yet. And then somebody that I met in the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

hypnosis training helped open up some other avenues for me. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

so I've learned about getting present in my life. I'm also a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

devout Yogi. I'm a yoga teacher, that doesn't teach yoga. I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

wanted to learn to deepen my practice. But it is so important

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to come into the present moment, because I think it was Lao Tzu

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

said, centuries ago, anxiety is worrying about what's in the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

future depression is mulling over what's in the past. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

it's kind of it's my philosophy. It's not that I'm saying it has

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to be everybody's truth. But truth for me is, the only moment

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

that really counts is this one.

Lori Saitz:

So when you learn that and you started practicing

Lori Saitz:

that, that's when your anxieties started easing up, and you found

Lori Saitz:

yourself being more open to the present moment into channeling

Lori Saitz:

this energy?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yes, and I would say that it started back

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

when I first learned EFT because EFT for anybody who doesn't know

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

It's short for Emotional Freedom Techniques, you may know what is

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

tapping. And it's like acupuncture without needles, and

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you self apply it. So Oh, you're having a rough time. You don't

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

have to call make an appointment, drive over to the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

acupuncturist, you can just start tapping on the certain

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

points and get relief. And so as I would get that relief, it

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

would allow me to come back into the present moment, instead of

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

oh my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, when I'm in this

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

present moment, everything's pretty good. One of the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

techniques in my book, and they're all very simple, they're

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

35 in the book, and they're in alphabetical order, for a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

reason, because I don't want you to have to read this whole short

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

book, I want you to just peruse, get two or three of those

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

techniques and action them. And one of them is and I will ask

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you this, I'm gonna ask you this is a question wants you to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

answer it, Lori? Okay. What's what's right right now? that

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

we're having this beautiful conversation? Yeah. Yes. And so,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

literally, we can make that into a practice, we can make that

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

into a game if we have small children. Okay, what's right

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

right now, because in this moment, everything's right. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

I'll tell you a funny little backstory to that was, shortly

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

before I was about to publish my book, I went to another author's

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

book signing, and I didn't know what her book was about. I just

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

knew, you know, wanted to have the conversation. And she had us

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

do this exercise of what's not wrong. Now, as a hypnotist, and

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

a neuro linguistic programmer, I'm always paying attention to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

our language. Yeah, what we say matters. Well, hmm. Little known

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

fact, our subconscious mind deletes the negatives, right. So

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

if you tell your child don't touch the hot stove, they touch

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

the hot stove and you like it. What they heard and processed

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

was touch the hot stove. So she's got us doing this

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

practice. And I'm like, what's not wrong? You're queuing What's

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

wrong? So I go home. And I find out from Amazon, that I need a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

couple more pages in my book to be able to print the spine of my

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

book. Yes. 100 pages, I believe. Right. I did not know that. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

I think I needed two more pages. So what's right right now. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

so I encourage people to do that. You know, if you buddy up

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

with a friend and say, All right, let's start playing this

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

what's right right now game? Because in this moment,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

everything's right. Yeah, right. When we can turn out tune out

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

all of the noise of what's going on around us and focus on Hey,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

I'm sitting here having a lovely conversation with my new friend

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Lori. And I have a fan blowing on me because I don't have AC in

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

this room. But I have that nice fan blowing on me. I know I have

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

a pantry full of food. I know my husband and I And our kids are

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

healthy and safe. It then leads you into some interesting stuff

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

where the act of looking for gratitude drops your cortisol

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

stress hormones by 23%. Yeah, 23% that's just looking for

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

something to be grateful for. When you go to the feeling

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

place, not the thinking place, but the feeling place of

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

gratitude. It makes your body produce dopamine and serotonin,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

which are the happy hormones.

Lori Saitz:

You are speaking my language sister.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Good, good, good. And so it's so simple. But

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

our society is, oh, if you're going to make changes, it's got

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to be big and hard, and, and it's gonna hurt. And I'm here to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

tell you now. It doesn't. None of it has to be it doesn't have

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to be hard. It doesn't have to take a long time. And by all

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

means, it doesn't have to hurt. Yeah, you know, we we all have

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

experienced traumas in life, whether they're big t traumas,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

and we can, you know, it automatically know what those

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

are, or small t traumas. The small t traumas on the surface

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

look like, what's the big deal, but they become a big deal when

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

they're not addressed. Are you familiar with the aces? adverse

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

childhood experiences?

Lori Saitz:

I'm not.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Oh, my gosh, I was absolutely thrilled.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

thrilled that three days before my book published, where I talk

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

about aces or Adverse Childhood Experiences study, Oprah was on

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

60 minutes talking about this. And I mean, 17,000 people were

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

in this research study was by Kaiser Permanente, which is a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

health care company and the CDC Centers for Disease Control.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

17,000 is a robust study, right. So this is not just some fly by

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

night. It was done in the 1990s. But it didn't come to light till

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

a couple of years ago. And it's mind blowing you and your

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

listeners can go just do a Google search for add an ACE

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

quiz. And it's 10 simple questions. Did you experience

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

this? This this before the age of 10. And it talks about you

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

know, abuse, your mother being abused, loss of a parent to

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

death or incarceration? This is not one you want to score high

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

on right, but right overachiever that I am I scored very high on

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

it. Okay, the higher you score on this quiz, the direct

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

correlation to dis ease later in your life, heart disease,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

obesity, depression, suicide attempts, addiction. So, okay,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

oh, you score high here, this is going to happen. What I'm here

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to tell you is you can circumvent it, and you can heal

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

that trauma. So sometimes, like, so I'm thinking about that many

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

clients with fear of highway driving. And many times, it's

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

very common thing to me is, first of all, they think they're

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

alone. They don't know how many people have a fear of highway

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

driving. But then it many times turns out to be maybe they're

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

five years old. And they're in the backseat of the car. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

dad's driving and has a panic attack and has to pull over and

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

mom has to change seats with him and drive. And so that happens

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

at five years old, and looks like what's the big deal? Right?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Then there are similar situations throughout life that

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

makes that gets stronger and stronger and stronger, until

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

it's so big that you'd like I have to do something about it.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

So I love doing that work. Because I am an excellent

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

detective, at being able to find where those root causes are. And

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

be it's so gentle and so easy to heal that and not create amnesia

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

for it. But to take the sting out of it. It no longer has the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

charge.

Lori Saitz:

Right. Take away the power from it.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yes, exactly. Yeah.

Lori Saitz:

Now because because this podcast is called Fine is a

Lori Saitz:

4-Letter Word, there was a time in your life. When everything

Lori Saitz:

was fine. And you were telling everybody it was fine. And it

Lori Saitz:

wasn't fine. Yeah, it was fine. Yeah. Tell me tell me a little

Lori Saitz:

bit about that story.

Lori Saitz:

Yes, um, when my husband was going in and out of liver

Lori Saitz:

failure, he it was over a dozen times before he had his

Lori Saitz:

transplant. And I was telling everybody, I was fine. Oh, I'm

Lori Saitz:

fine. No, I've got this. And I wasn't you know, I was falling

Lori Saitz:

apart on the inside because oh, my gosh, I was really faced with

Lori Saitz:

the fact that my husband might die. And every time he went into

Lori Saitz:

liver failure, Lori, he was inches from death. And I will

Lori Saitz:

pat myself on the back. I they told me how to help him through

Lori Saitz:

it. And I brought him back and I brought him back and I brought

Lori Saitz:

him back. So I'm telling everybody, oh, I'm fine. I'm

Lori Saitz:

fine. I'm fine. And then after he had the transplant,

Lori Saitz:

successful transplant, oh my gosh, are we grateful for that?

Lori Saitz:

That's what I like. fell apart, because I had been trying to

Lori Saitz:

keep up this facade. And I think that fine is one of those masks

Lori Saitz:

that we wear. Right, right. And I find it very interesting that

Lori Saitz:

at this point in my life, when in the past couple of years,

Lori Saitz:

I've just kind of said, EFF the masks, right, the invisible

Lori Saitz:

masks. We can now we're now we're wearing. And now we're

Lori Saitz:

actually wearing physical masks. Yeah, that timing for me is

Lori Saitz:

interesting.

Lori Saitz:

Crazy. It's crazy. So did you know those techniques? So you,

Lori Saitz:

you were telling everybody, everything's fine? You were

Lori Saitz:

holding it all together? Because you felt like you didn't? I

Lori Saitz:

mean, really? Where was the choice you had to right? But you

Lori Saitz:

That was before you found EFT? Or was it after?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

No, it was after? And had I not had the

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

tools that I had at that time? I probably would have ended up

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

somewhere very dark.

Lori Saitz:

Okay. So even though you had the tools, it still was

Lori Saitz:

this, this place where you didn't want anybody to know,

Lori Saitz:

especially me, especially because you had the tools.

Lori Saitz:

You're like, well, I got these tools. I can't tell people I'm

Lori Saitz:

falling apart. Because I got these, then they'll question the

Lori Saitz:

tools.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Well, it was more for my kids. Yeah, no,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

pretending like everything was fine. And bottom line. Alright,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

so I wrote the book, goodbye, anxiety, hello, freedom. Does it

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

mean I don't experience anxiety? No, of course I do. It's part of

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

the human condition. Right? What is so important is falling a

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

little out of balance and coming back falling a little out of

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

balance and come back. Right. And so honestly, if I didn't

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

have the tools that I have, I would have been in a very dark

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

place. But I don't I really don't recommend fine, because

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

it's not.

Lori Saitz:

Yeah, that's a really good point that you're

Lori Saitz:

making, though, is that even with tools, tools are going to

Lori Saitz:

help you get through it. But that doesn't mean you're not

Lori Saitz:

still going to face challenges.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yeah. If as long as we're alive, we're going

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

to face challenges. Yeah, it's just part of right, human. Yeah.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

And so, you know, the wisdom that I know now from telling

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

everybody I was fine, it was fine. I was fine, is that it

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

wasn't healthy for me. And then conversely, there's another

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

little piece to this, Lori, is I learned that when people were

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

offering to help, and I'm saying, Oh, no, I'm fine. I was

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

actually not receiving the gifts that they wanted to give me.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Right, that they wanted to help me. And I'm shutting them out.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Right. And so for your listeners who are still saying I'm fine.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

You know, it's it's vulnerable. It's vulnerable to say, Hey, I'm

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

not fine. But it depends on who you're with who your audience

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

is. Have. You know, do you tell somebody you don't know? No, I'm

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

not fine. I'm falling apart inside? No. Do you tell your

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

best friend You know what, I'm having a struggle. You're giving

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

your your your friend a gift to by letting them gift you their

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

friendship and their help?

Lori Saitz:

Yeah, I just came to my mind right now is that line

Lori Saitz:

from, from Jerry Maguire. Let me help help me to help you.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yes, yeah. Bingo. Yeah.

Lori Saitz:

But you're right. It is a gift that you give somebody

Lori Saitz:

to allow them to help because think of when you've offered

Lori Saitz:

help before and been pushed away it. You you genuinely want to

Lori Saitz:

help otherwise you probably wouldn't be asking. Right? And

Lori Saitz:

you because you don't want to see your friend suffering. And

Lori Saitz:

the same way you know, sometimes my friend Christine says to me,

Lori Saitz:

be nice to my friend, which is she's telling me to be nice to

Lori Saitz:

myself, you know, so

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

that's a good friend. That's a great

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

friend.

Lori Saitz:

She is. But yeah, be be nice to your your friends

Lori Saitz:

want you to be nice to their friend. Right? Yeah. I love

Lori Saitz:

that. Yeah, before we wrap up today, because we've gotten

Lori Saitz:

through so much. Amazing wisdom. I really appreciate your being

Lori Saitz:

here. What is the song? I know I know. I'm asking a radio

Lori Saitz:

personality here. What is the what is the song The one song

Lori Saitz:

that you listen to when you need to get charged up and and fuel

Lori Saitz:

yourself with some extra energy?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Several tunes from Earth Wind and Fire.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Okay, I love Earth Wind and Fire. I love the horns. So I can

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

hear a September in my jukebox that's playing right now. I can

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

hear it let's groove. And you know, I played these when they

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

were new when they were fresh on the radio. And so I would I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

would dance like nobody was watching long before I heard

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

anybody say that. And the studio in one of the radio stations,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

they had a big huge plate glass window. So anybody walking by

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

could see me and I've got it cranked up. I mean, these

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

speakers, the walls were shaking, because I had it up so

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

loud, how it's dancing like nobody's watching, and they'd

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

walk by just shaking their heads like, that is one crazy lady.

Lori Saitz:

Okay, you can think whatever you want. I'm having

Lori Saitz:

fun in here.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yes. And and you know what? When you're

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

having fun like that, you are fine.

Lori Saitz:

Yes, yeah. Well, you're way better than fine.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Yeah.

Lori Saitz:

Yeah. How can people get your book? And how can they

Lori Saitz:

get in touch with you if they want to find out more about what

Lori Saitz:

you're doing?

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Thank you. So my book is through Amazon.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

It's goodbye anxiety, hello, freedom. Again. It's a short 100

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

page book. That is, if I hand you a 400 page book, and you're

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

already struggling with anxiety, you're going to go Oh, so you

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

can do that. And then you can find me at Stephanie

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Dalfonzo.com. I know, you'll put that in the show notes. So they

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

figure out how to spell it. And you can go to my website and get

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

five of the techniques from the book for free. Just put your

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

email in and you automatically get the download. Because I

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

again, I don't want to overload you with you know, alright,

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

there's more of these 35 techniques. It's learn a couple.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

But the real key that I want people to take away is it can't

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

become self help, shelf help. All that stuff that we've bought

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

over the years and we stuck up on the shelf and our lives

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

didn't change. I'm telling you simple shifts are what create

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

lasting change. And this is the way to do it.

Lori Saitz:

Yes, thank you so much for joining me today on

Lori Saitz:

Fine is a 4-Letter Word.

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

Lori. I am so happy to have this

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

conversation. But even more importantly, so happy to have

Stephanie Dalfonzo:

you as a new friend. You're awesome. Thank you.

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