89. (S3E15) Detoxing from Expectations with Aneta Kuzma

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:00:03

Welcome to Fine is a 4-Letter Word, the podcast that empowers you to say fuck being fine. Tired of being stuck in a place where you say everything's fine when it's really not fine at all. You're not alone. I'm your host, Laurie Sites. I've been there too, and so have my guests. Here's a secret. All it takes is a conscious decision to change and then restructure beliefs so your actions take you in the right direction. That's where Fine is a 4-Letter Word comes in. Each week, you'll hear inspiring stories from people who have transformed their lives and businesses and practical tips and takeaways to move you from spinning in place to forward action so you can create a life of joy. Thanks for tuning in. Let's get started. Today I have the honor of chatting with Aneta Kuzma, a coach and consultant with a passion for helping clients create transformational change. After 25 successful years as a bank executive, Aneta found her coaching and consulting business to help high achieving professionals and entrepreneurs live the width, not just the length of their lives. In our conversation, we discuss the power of sabbaticals, the importance of finding joy in everyday life, and how Aneta has incorporated meditation and yoga into her wellness routine.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:01:37

Aneta is the host of the Live The Width of Your Life podcast. Author of the book Live The Width of Your Life 365. Daily Meditations on Living with Purpose, Passion and Peace, and a Contributing Writer to Brains magazine Thrive Global, her blog newsletter, LinkedIn and Instagram. Listen in and let Aneta's story inspire you to take your own inspired action toward the life you truly love. Of course, you can go to Zen Rabbit to get your copy of the Short Guide to Working Less and Living Better. Also known as The Five Easy Ways to Start Living a Sabbatical Life. Let me also put it out there that my partners and I are actively acquiring personal development businesses right now. So who do you know with a personal development business? Who is looking to make a change? Alternatively, who do you know who would be interested in making extra money through some joint venture opportunities promoting other people's offers? Hit me up with your intros. Hello and welcome to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. My guest today is Aneta Kuzma. Welcome to the show, Aneta.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:02:57

Lauri it's so good to see you again. I'm so happy to be here.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:03:00

Yes, it's we've had several conversations in the past few months and I am I just feel so grateful to have met you and to have these chances to chat.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:03:11

Oh, me too. I just think that it's so amazing to be able to meet like minded individuals and just learn from each other. It feels so good.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:03:19

Yeah, that's one of the greatest things about hosting a podcast is getting to meet the coolest people, and I feel like almost every single person I've wanted to be like, I wish you lived closer so we could hang out together more.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:03:35

I know, isn't that funny? But sometimes just during the course of a conversation, a podcast, because the nature of the questions that come through, sometimes you learn more about the person you're interviewing who may have been a stranger before. Then you do those that are close to you.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:03:51

Absolutely. This this studio is a very sacred space.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:03:55

Yeah. Yeah. Love it.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:03:58

Well, let's start out with the one of my favorite questions to ask guests, and that is, what were the values and beliefs that you were raised with that contributed to you becoming who you became, especially as a young adult?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:04:13

First, gosh, yeah. So, um, so I'm an immigrant kid, immigrated to the States with my parents when I was four, so came to this country from the former Yugoslavia, which doesn't exist anymore and spoke no English, right? So it was going from living in a smaller little town of maybe 5000 people to the states. And, you know, from freedom to something that was completely foreign and different. But the values that we had were really strong on family and community. And so maintaining sort of connection to roots and connection to culture and language and traditions that I think were really important, a lot of loyalty and also just generosity and service. I remember my parents, my grandparents, even though they came here and didn't have a lot when they first started out, always so generous and always so giving with anybody that maybe needed some extra assistance, either money or service of giving back of their time, their resources, whatever they could. And I think that that just really instilled in me this notion of how important it is to help each other out and just the importance of community and friends and family.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:05:30

Mhm Yeah. Where did you ever have to be the translator for your parents and grandparents?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:05:36

Yes. Yes. I remember going to the bank with my grandmother and, and then also you know when because nobody spoke English, my dad spoke, he spoke some English. But so for a while, especially with my grandparents like having to translate and my mom. And then over time, of course, you know, that wasn't quite an issue. But, you know, I didn't learn proper English probably until halfway through kindergarten. And so it was just such a strange experience. But I think it allowed me to be very observant and to sort of pay attention to to signals and body language and things that you can interpret, not from language and words themselves, but through other other means. And then of course, I was very grateful when I finally was able to to sort of fit in with the class.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:06:28

Yeah, well, you say that like you were behind. Like, I didn't get I didn't learn, but, but I look around and I'm like, half the people graduating from high school don't know proper English anymore. And they grew up here. They were born here. So yeah, Yeah, it was. You're probably far more ahead than you thought you were.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:06:50

Yeah. Oh, at the time. You know, when you're little, all you want to do is to to fit in and not stand out. Exactly. So, yeah.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:06:59

Yes, I understand that 100%. My my grandfather emigrated here from Russia and never spoke Russian again, I don't think after. Foot. Yeah, because he did. Interesting.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:07:12

Yeah, There's so many. There's like two schools of thoughts. I see people who I've heard that story before where people are like, you know, now we are Americans and we're going to leave all that behind and just make sure that everyone assimilates as quickly as possible. And then also the folks that, you know, like me, I always felt like I had one foot straddled in both worlds. And I'm grateful for that because I love being able to go back and visit family and to travel and and still be able to to speak with family and with cousins and and even to pass that on to my to my children. It just opens up a world of opportunities, I think when you can speak other languages and just you really connect to other cultures.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:07:53

Oh yeah, 100%. Like I wish we had the, the like in school that they started teaching a second or and, or a third language. Yeah. Like when you were learning English at five. Yeah. Like they do in Europe and some of the other countries because it just allows you to be able to communicate with so many more people.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:08:16

Yeah, that's so true. And it's and also I think it builds compassion and, and when others are maybe not speaking perfect English, you know, what that feels like. And so you help people out. And and also, for me, even if I visit other countries and I only am able to use some pleasantries or I know very foundational part of the language, which I always try to learn, you can tell that people appreciate it. It's almost like, you know, I'm a guest in their country acknowledging them in their language and it just feels different. It feels really good to be able to do that.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:08:49

Yeah. So how did that background affect you as you were choosing like what to do when you were, you know, as you became an adult and you were able to make your own decisions?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:09:01

Yeah. So my parents instilled in me and my grandparents to just this love of education. And so I was the first to go to college and everyone was really proud of that and excited. And my sister and I actually she was born here in the States. And so that was never even a consideration. Like we always knew we were going to go to college, we were going to study really hard. And but it was difficult to know what I wanted to study. Like I was always a learner, maybe because I had to work a little extra hard at the beginning. Like I loved reading, I loved writing, I loved sort of, um, just discussing, you know, things. So I went to undergrad and I had no idea what I wanted to do from a career. So I decided that I was just going to take all the classes that I loved. I was like an old school liberal arts major. And so I studied English literature, and French and women's studies were my minors and took all kinds of like social anthropology and art history and linguistics and philosophy. And I loved my education and but it was really hard to figure out what to do afterwards. And so I sort of landed into my first job. I worked at Berlitz Language Center. This is pre, you know, APS. And before people could download an app to learn a language, Berlitz was the place to be. There were 300 locations.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:10:22

My college roommate, Jean, was a teacher there, too. Yeah, Isn't that funny?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:10:26

So I was in sales, so I was the assistant director and so loved meeting with people, putting them into the right language courses or cross-cultural courses. If they were executives who were going to to go be placed overseas. And it's interesting because it led me into my second career as a banker. I worked my husband's from New York, so we lived in we lived in New York, I worked in on Broadway and Wall Street, actually just about a block from the Twin Towers at the time. And this is back in the 90s. And all of my clients were bankers. And so I was like, Oh gosh, look at all these people. That seemed like a glamorous job. They either worked on Wall Street or they were, you know, it was like before all these banks consolidated with Smith Barney and you had Salomon Brothers and and and they were always traveling and going to all these wonderful places. And I was like, well, that seems like a really interesting job. And and then after that, when we moved back to Cleveland, I thought, you know what? I think I'm going to go into banking. It seems like a place you could be pretty stable, grow within an organization. And I did that for, gosh, my two year plan turned into a 22 year career.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:11:35

That happens so frequently. Yes. You are not alone with that because. Right. You get sucked in and it's just easier to stay there than to do something like because it's fine. The money is probably good. It's fine. You got comfortable with it and you know, you end up with what I think. I first heard the term from my brother, but the golden handcuffs.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:12:03

Golden handcuffs, You're right. Because one, I didn't. I wasn't sure. We are clear on what the path was going to be. Like you said, did a great job. Was able to work with wonderful people. I loved my colleagues. It was a headquarter company. I was raising kids, you know, and married while doing all that. And it was fine until it no longer was fine. And that was, you know, in my 40 seconds or I guess I should say, when fine no longer was enough. Yeah.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:12:34

Well, and that's the whole point of the being fine program and the Fine is a 4-Letter Word. Thing is you reach this point where fine is no longer okay. It comes on you one day, like, how did I not see this before? Or for some people it kind of creeps up slowly. And you know, the water is getting warmer and warmer and warmer until it's unbearable.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:13:00

Yeah. And also, you know, I think the reason it happens so often to many of us, so I started getting a little itchy in my 40 seconds because my kids were getting older. I wasn't you know, they were more self-reliant. They were going to go to college pretty soon and be out of the house. They were driving and all those things. So I had more time to think. And I always say, it's like, you know, when you're running so hard and you finally sit down on the couch and then you're like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe how tired I am. How did I not notice? It's the same way. I felt like one day I was just like, Wait a second, asking myself questions and going, Oh, this is kind of worse than I thought it was. And and that's when I decided, you know what? I think it might be a good time to to explore what this could look like instead. And so I hired a coach and I started working with an executive coach to help me figure out how to design the life that I wanted to live. I'd never done that before. I never really knew what how you could imagine or dream a career or a new way of life into existence. I'd never thought I'd want to be an entrepreneur. My father was and he was very successful, but I had so many fears associated with that. And after two years after that, coaching was completed and planning started taking little baby steps and actions until one day my faith was greater than my fear. And I said, okay, it's time to start, time to say goodbye to the corporate world and start creating my own new sort of career on my own.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:14:34

Very cool. And what did you what was that career?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:14:38

Yeah. So I started my coaching and consulting business and for me, I really wanted to be able to work with executives like myself, like where I was, and help them reimagine what their life could be. I saw that when I was working amongst myself and my friends. We were stressed, We were burned out. We were exhausted. Many of us were working parents having a hard time putting our own needs last and then being resentful for it as well. And so I thought, you know what? I want to get certified in not just executive coaching to work with people on their careers, but I also want to bring in life and health and wellness because I want to be able to work with people on all of their goals, not to have to say, Well, we can just focus on this. So I did that and I had already gotten certified in yoga and meditation because it's something that I've been a practitioner of for for many years. Like I just loved it and now I wanted to facilitate it as well and slowly started taking more mindfulness classes and other things. And suddenly, you know, I started doing wellness consulting for companies as well. So really just starting with the coaching and then expanding it to to larger scale to impact more people.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:15:56

What was your first introduction to meditation?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:16:00

Probably through yoga and my yoga teacher training specifically. We went deep. So I'd meditated before in some classes and I've tried some things, but when we meditated for really long periods of time in my yoga teacher training, it was I remember feeling like I was just finally at rest. It was just this feeling where I was so grounded and centered and the outside world. It was almost like when you're underwater and like the noises sort of disappear and you find yourself floating and like, there's a sense of freedom there. And that's what meditation felt like to me. I just felt like I was returning back to myself. And it was probably the first time I felt this significant alignment where my mind, my body, my breath, my spirit were just so grounded and centered in that moment. And then I was addicted. I was like, Oh, this is going to be something I do forever. Forever.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:16:57

That is such a good analogy of being underwater in. A Yeah, right. Yeah. Because as you said that I was picturing it. I'm like, Oh yeah, that feeling of just floating.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:17:08

Yes. And it's so beautiful because we try to control and hold things so tightly and. And this is just like permission to let go. And that feels amazing. It feels so.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:17:25

Good, right? That whole point of allowing the whole concept of allowing and allowing ease and flow, which my listeners have heard me talk about this before because it was my phrase for 2022 and I wasn't doing it. And that's what led me to take that month long sabbatical in August and to allow that ease and flow. And then and I was just telling you before we hit record on this, like these lessons are not it's not like you learn it one time and then you're good to go. You are constant daily learning and relearning and having this concept reintroduced. Yesterday I posted about this on Facebook too. Yesterday I had to have a conversation with myself about allowing myself to go see the cherry blossoms because they're only around for a few days and, you know, once a year. A few days. You never know how long it's going to last because a strong rain will wash them away. And I was thinking to myself, okay, but I have all this work to do. I really don't have the time to go, you know, drive a half hour each way and look at cherry blossoms. And then I said, No, this is what brings you joy. This is what is the joyful that that getting into that joyful vibration is what brings you more of the good stuff.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:18:55

Yes.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:18:56

So I love it. So I set off and went to see the cherry blossoms and wouldn't you know, while I was there enjoying cherry blossoms? An order for this newly released or rereleased book that I have created called How to Feel Confident, Comfortable How to Feel Comfortable, Confident and Courageous at Networking Events. Yeah, another sale for that came through while I was not working and out raising my vibration by looking at beautiful cherry blossoms.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:19:28

Of course it did. Right. And those are the moments where you're like, Of course I already know this to be true. And it was just like another signal from the universe. Good job, Laurie. You just show you you don't need to do anything. You can allow these things in and you are so much your vessel. You're just open more when you're in those joyful moments, like you said, when you're doing the things that place you in the place of the highest vibration. That's beautiful.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:20:01

Allow me a quick moment to thank you for tuning in to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. If you're enjoying the show, please take a second to hit the follow button so you don't miss an episode. And if you haven't already, I'd love it if you would leave me a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts. Your feedback helps the show reach more listeners like you. Fine is a 4-Letter Word is available on all major podcasting platforms, so no matter where you listen, you can stay up to date with the latest episodes. Now let's get back into the conversation. So speaking of sabbaticals, I just mentioned mine. Tell us tell me about yours, because yours was a little different the way you went about doing sabbatical. And I love what you did. And I think that anyone listening will also be able to relate because I'm getting a lot of people saying, Well, but I can't afford to take a month off or a year off the way Shelley Paxton did in one of the previous episodes. So tell me more about what you did for your sabbatical.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:21:14

Yeah. So I started I left my previous organization January 7th of 2019. I started my business January 9th. Oh, happy birthday. And then two days later, of course, started my business because I was like, I can't like, not work. That was my mentality. We worked so hard. And my oldest daughter at the time, she was studying abroad in Florence, Italy, and she reached out. It was March. So now this is like two months of me trying to start the business. Do you know, launch a website, do all the things you do foundationally when you first start? And she said, Mom, I'm really homesick. I really want to see you, Can you come visit me in Europe? And I was thinking, I said, Gosh, we're coming in May at the end of her term. And she's like, No, I really would like for you to come and like, now and. I paused and I thought about it and I was like. Well, I could go. It's not like I'm doing anything. It's not like have a whole group of clients that would be missing me, but it just felt weird to just go, Oh, yeah, of course I'm going to just go take off and, you know, middle of starting my business.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:22:25

And I did. I was like, Let's do London. It's the easiest place to fly to. And she was able to meet me there and we just had this once in a lifetime, you know, mother daughter trip where we just did all of the fun things, didn't have to worry about work, didn't think about anything in the moment except being fully present with her. And when I came back, I said, You know what? I'm going to keep doing this. Like I'm going to find more opportunities to do it. And so six weeks later, we did. It's so crazy because it feels like insane talking about it. I went to Europe three times that summer, which is so unlike me because I still had so many like scarcity issues and challenges I was working through. But I was like, I'm going to work through these things. And and so went to Europe and took a trip. Again, it was two weeks this time and didn't do any work. And meanwhile my brain is like, You are trying to start a business. And then the other part of me is like, no, like, you know, I'll never have this time again, the four of us, to be able to do these trips. And we were visiting family and we just turned it into a really like, nice trip.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:23:38

And and then I thought, you know what? That's apparently not enough. So we are going to I scheduled this is maybe not quite a sabbatical, but it was sort of a directed a little bit of work and fun is I said, you know, I've never been to Portugal. I want to go. I think I'm going to host a retreat, see if anyone wants to come. Never been to a retreat, never hosted a retreat like and did it in October of that year. Like took a group of women to Portugal and had an amazing retreat there and was able to, you know, not do anything else except teach yoga and meditation and do these beautiful coaching sessions and some excursions. And that first year was the most free I've ever felt ever, like ever in my life, I think because it was. I was designing everything the way I wanted it. And I kept coming back to what you said before giving myself permission, like, this is, okay, you're choosing this, and once you choose it, allow yourself to be there and enjoy it. And when you come back, you can work and then it'll be okay.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:24:51

Why do you think we have such a hard time giving ourselves permission to have freedom?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:25:01

Uh, I don't know. I think we've just always had expectations. There have always been so many expectations that, um, maybe from family, from teachers, from, you know, leaders we worked for. I think they've always been high standards and expectations. And then on top of it is women. If I could generalize, I would say I think women also, they juggle a lot and they take on a lot of roles. And so we just keep adding on to that. And one of the scariest things when I left corporate world was there was a calendar that was completely empty. There was nothing on my calendar, nothing at all, no one telling me where I needed to go. And that could be very freeing, but it's also very unknown. So it's uncomfortable too. Yeah. And so then we still have this residual, um. I don't know. Expectations like we just should ourselves to death. You know, I should be working 12 hours still. I should be. You know, it's gluttonous for me to stop working in the middle of the day or go take a two hour lunch or whatever it is, like silliness.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:26:10

That's absolutely that's such a that's a great word, gluttonous, which it is not. But that's it is what it feels like. And yeah, Don, Don Milani was talking about this, too, in her in her podcast episode about finding a path to work life integration because she is in the midst of it right now of on on a somewhat of a sabbatical. And we had this conversation about how difficult it is to face a calendar that doesn't that isn't packed full of do this now then do this, then do this, then move to this like someone either someone else putting that calendar or schedule on you. Or then we come out of corporate or start our own thing and do it to ourselves.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:26:55

Yes. Yes.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:26:57

Because it's so uncomfortable to have freedom, I guess. I mean, we start our own businesses for freedom and then we then we don't allow ourselves to have it. It's so yeah, like as we're talking, this is all like coming to my head. Like, wait a second, this is totally twisted.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:27:17

It is. And, and I think part of it at the beginning is we're detoxing from the expectations and the learned behavior. So I definitely felt like I was trying to shift behavior change mindset, like intentionally. And then I don't know if this happened with you. And then you get into the groove. You start working with clients, you feel like you're adding value, you try new things. It gets so exciting, it feels so good. Then you start filling your day and your time with new things because you enjoy it. And then you have to also be very disciplined about saying, okay, no, but I need to take breaks. I need to shift some things around. There has to be a better way. And and so maybe there's just it's a constant new lesson, some old ones creeping back in, but constantly just evolving to try to figure out what works best. You know, how is this how can I continue to serve but also take care of myself and take care of the other things that are important in life?

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:28:16

Yeah, and just keep coming back to that whole idea of allowing joy, allowing, allowing ease and allowing joy.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:28:25

Because I love that.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:28:27

That's what we're here for.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:28:30

I just. It's so funny. I have to read this to you. I was just at the store, and I love butterflies, by the way, and I found this card and it says choosing to have joy is not naively thinking everything will be easy. It is courageously believing that there is still hope, even when things get hard. Oh, isn't that cool? Yes, I loved it. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to buy that and keep that in my office because I love little reminders of that. And I'm all about telling people to choose joy because it's, it's, um, it's one of those words that some people get, get it, and then other people are like, I don't even know what that means. Or I don't remember a time when I was joyful. Do you experience that with clients as well?

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:29:15

Yeah, absolutely. And I appreciate that you just said choosing Joy because it is a choice. And and again, I always I feel like I always need to say choosing joy does not mean not feeling other emotions that maybe don't feel as good. Those are those are perfectly normal and feel them. And then choose joy when when possible. Yeah. Uh, yeah. That whole idea of, of making, of choosing that and believing that you deserve it.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:29:57

Yes.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:29:58

Yeah. And that it's possible.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:30:01

It's possible and it's not Joy isn't dependent on, you know, people if you say you're happy there's usually I'm happy because it's usually happiness is associated with some reason. But joy is is a choice. Like you said, it's a state of being. It's almost like hope or gratitude. You can be in terrible, dire circumstances and still have hope and be grateful. And I think joy is very similar that way. It doesn't mean that it's not like this Card says it's naive, it's not naive. It's just a choice. Yeah. Instead to say I still choose to be joyful. Rather things are good or not.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:30:41

Because joy and you mentioned gratitude, joy, gratitude and love. Let's yes, bunch them together because essentially they are the same vibration, energetic vibration. And that is the highest energetic vibration that you can get to. And so when you are living in that place and from those feelings. That's when everything is clicking.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:31:09

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That is so true. And I think I used to intellectually understand frequency and energy, but when you're actually in the midst of it and you're feeling it, um, this week I was just talking about setting an intention of alignment. Because when I'm aligned and so centered and grounded, everything hums. It all works out. And when I'm out of alignment and something like kind of knocks me out or I allow myself to to be suddenly not in alignment, it you can feel it. You can feel it energetically, vibrationally. The things, the circumstances around me are off. I make poor choices in terms of what I eat, all of those things, right? And when you get back and you allow yourself to have those higher frequencies and vibrations, it just everything shifts. It's amazing.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:32:01

Yes. Yes. I was going to say something and now I forgot what it was. But that's okay. It will come back. About being in that higher energetic vibration. Yeah, but yeah, yeah. So when you were taking these mini sabbaticals again, so you were able to travel and travel internationally, but they were for shorter periods of time and. Yes. Did you take any sabbaticals that didn't have you traveling internationally?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:32:35

I did. We actually took a lot. I made it a point to reconnect and visit friends in Chicago, to travel to New York to visit friends. We went to Florida to visit family. It was it was just about every month going to New York to visit family. Like just really saying, you know what, I want to reconnect. I want to spend time with people. I want to sometimes we drove because I actually do enjoy driving, especially if it's my husband and I in the car like there's just a connection that you have in the car. It's almost like meditation that way, where the outside world is, you know, like outside the four doors and the car and you, you're able to just stop time almost and just reconnect on a deeper level. And I love to journal. So on all these sabbaticals, I just bring a journal because it allows traveling feels like it's a departure from your daily life. It's a departure from the obligations. You can't just go through a load of laundry and just because it's down the hall, right? And so so you the journaling is just another way to tap in and be like, what am I feeling? You know, what am I excited about? What am I grateful for? You know, and just also getting ideas for the business. And it just felt like my creativity really flows much more when I'm sort of outside of my everyday surroundings.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:33:59

Yes. So that point and I remembered what I was going to say before, but I'll come back to that in a second. The departure from the norm, yes, that's what sparks creativity. But we get so stuck in our everyday routines and I see it with myself and I see it with other with clients and with other entrepreneurial colleagues that we for just for an example, come and sit at your desk every day in front of your computer and do the same thing every single day, but going out to a coffee shop or somewhere, you know, a park or somewhere to work. In a different environment, we become so much more productive.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:34:42

Oh, it's so true. We have a beautiful art museum here in Cleveland. And I remember even being in high school, if I had to write papers or to work on a project, I would go to the Atrium Museum and just sit there and just feel. I mean, you're just surrounded by so much beauty and it's just it's such a great energetic place and that always just allowed me to focus. It's just amazing when you're able to drop in and it just is, again, like you just feel like everything else just disappears and you're able to just be with yourself. And the creativity there always sparks. Yeah, and coffee shops too. Just kind of mixing it up, going to different places, restaurants, especially when the weather is nice. It's nice to sit outside. Yeah. Sometimes people watching, you know, walking in nature, taking some mindful walks. All of these activities just really seem to kind of take me to a new place. You know, it takes you out of the everyday activity and into just a higher level of thinking.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:35:45

Yeah, absolutely. And it's again, so interesting that we have to kind of force ourselves to do it because it's easier to just walk into the next room, especially now that everybody's working from home, walk into the next room and sit down at your desk as opposed to, oh, I got to get into my car or I have to go, you know, I have to put on shoes. I have to.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:36:05

Yeah.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:36:07

Whatever it is. Like it's just more of an effort. But the effort always pays off. But it's just got that moving past that, that one giant mountain of doing that stupid little thing.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:36:21

Yeah, well, it's comfort, right? We find our comfort and comfort zones and so we like to just kind of nestle and especially in the winter months, like, I'm so much better when the weather gets warmer. It's a little bit hard here, but even moving into a different room in my home sometimes will be enough. Just kind of changing the view.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:36:41

Right. Yeah, right. Now, want to come back to what I was going to say about your when you were we were talking about the joy and the gratitude and that higher vibration. And and when you mentioned that a lot of times people are like, well, I don't know what Joy feels like. I don't know how to get into that place. And one of the things that I started doing several years ago, and I don't even know what prompted me to do it, but was to stop in the middle of when something is happening and not really stop, but just kind of stop the moment in my head. So, for example, laughing hysterically, I have this vision in my head of I think we were in Minneapolis High School, my two high school girlfriends and I do girls weekend every year, and I'm pretty sure we were in Minneapolis laughing like hyenas. I don't even remember what we were laughing at. But in that moment I went, Oh, this is amazing. Like, I want to I'd like to remember this forever, this feeling and this moment. And so I'm challenging. You as a listener to find these moments and capture them in your memory.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:37:48

Oh, I love that idea of stopping And and like you said, it's not stopping, but it's it's acknowledging in the moment when something feels so good. I also tell my clients, create a joy list. Like, I just want you to think of all the things that bring you joy. What song, when you hear it, you know, being played gets you so excited. Create a playlist of all these songs. Is there a favorite candle fragrance that you love? You know, I love walking into Anthropologie and smelling that scent, and I'm like, okay, I'm going to buy those candles because I want my house to smell like that, or a favorite blanket or a good mug that you really like to drink from, or a favorite outfit that when you put it on like it doesn't have to be extravagant. It doesn't have to be a big trip. It doesn't have to be something that is so out of the ordinary. Sometimes the most joyful things are just filling your day with tiny little joyful mementos or moments. And at the end you're like, Gosh, that was a really good day. It just felt so good all day long. But, you know, find what those things are. And I tell people all the time, create, create that for yourself. Peppermint throughout the day, Right.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:39:00

Take the initiative to create them for yourself instead of waiting for them to somehow show up in, you know, which isn't usually not going to happen. It's like asking people asking for what you need. Yeah. Instead of waiting for people to read your mind. This is giving it to yourself instead of waiting for it to show up, which it probably won't if you don't take take action. This is what we talk about all the time. Taking inspired action.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:39:31

Absolutely. And-.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:39:33

Go ahead.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:39:34

Go ahead. I was just going to say, the other thing I did was, you know, I did say, you know, I'm going to commit to myself to do the things that are important for, you know, myself outside of my morning routines and all the things that I typically do. But I am going to schedule massages and I'm going to get some facials and schedule some lunches with my mom or do different things like that. It's important to also put things on the calendar in advance, not just for today, but to really say what are the things that are so important and how can I like schedule them, get them all scheduled and not wait for inspiration, not wait for the day to open up or any of those things is just put yourself first. And when you do, I mean, chances are you're going to show up if it's already on the calendar and planned for.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:40:24

Yeah, you got to put the big rocks in the jar first.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:40:28

Yes. Yes.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:40:30

Yeah, I have one more. Well, I have a couple more questions, but I have the one question and then we'll come back to that, that song question, the hype song. Question.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:40:41

Oh gosh.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:40:41

But what is. Your definition of the difference between a sabbatical and a vacation?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:40:48

Oh, good question. Um. Quick question. A spell. Maybe I'm going to Go back to this word choice. So I think A sabbatical is intentionally choosing to step away from work and life in order to spend time with myself. And and then I think a vacation is typically I'm going with someone else, so I'm going with family or I'm going with friends. And the planning is more around activities and things that we're going to do. And with the sabbatical, I don't usually have money plans. It's more like just allowing things to unfold without the need to plan. So maybe small distinction. I've never thought of that before. It's a great question.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:41:41

Coming back to the question about putting together or the suggestion of putting together a playlist that increases your joy. What is the what is the first song that you would put on your playlist? What's your what's your go to hype song?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:41:57

So it's so funny. And I think this one, it's not my favorite song, but I remember the first time I heard it, I played it over and over again and it was by one republic I lived because at the time I was desperately wishing to start my business and to be in a place where I could sing those lyrics like so freely and intentionally, which it's a great song. So I think that one is definitely going to be on there because it just makes me really happy. Anything from Coldplay or U2? I'm kind of, you know, old school girl with some of those songs that make me feel really good. Take Take Me Back to my youth. There's something about reconnecting to that spirit when life was just a little bit more carefree. So probably, probably some of those songs on there.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:42:55

Okay, awesome. And lastly, if someone wants to continue a conversation with you, how do they find you?

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:43:03

Oh, yes, I would love it. And I'm so grateful. So the easiest way is to come to my website Aneta kuzma.com and you'll find my podcast link there. If you want to listen to the podcast live the width of your life, you can also check out my book that I wrote under the same name and you'll find all my social handles. I'm pretty active on LinkedIn and on Instagram and Facebook and I have so many free resources as well. Breathwork, Meditation, yoga and free coaching consultation. So would love to to connect with your community if they are interested in continuing our conversation.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:43:39

Fantastic. I will put a link to that in the show notes. I'll link to your website and a link to the One Republic song as well.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:43:47

Oh good. Okay.

Lori Saitz:

Speaker: 00:43:48

Yeah. Thank you so much for joining me today on Fine is a 4-Letter Word and Aneta.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:43:54

Thank you Lori it was such a pleasure and I look forward to more conversations with you. Have an.

Aneta Ardelian Kuzma:

Speaker: 00:44:00

Lori Saitz: Amazing day. Absolutely. It was so nice to have another opportunity to talk with Aneta after I was a guest on her podcast, Live the Width of Your Life a few months ago. Here are the key takeaways from this show. Number one, there's a reason Fine is a 4-Letter Word. It convinces you that things are good enough while holding you back from a life that could be so much more than fine. Number two, burnout can hit you like a long run while you're moving. You don't really feel it. But once you stop and take a seat, you suddenly realize how much your body hurts. Give yourself that space to acknowledge how hard you've been pushing yourself. Number three, give yourself permission to let go of trying to control and hold things so tightly. Number four you are more open to allowing all the goodness to flow into your life in joyful moments. Allow yourself to experience them. Number five Departing from your normal routine is the spark of creativity. Get outside of your comfort zone and see what strikes you. Number six Joy is a choice. Let's end with this quote Aneta shared from a card she found choosing to have joy is not naively thinking everything will be easy. It is courageously believing that there is still hope, even when things get hard. Thanks for listening to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. If you've enjoyed the show, please follow and share it with a friend. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform to help others discover it too. You can find links to my socials on my website Zen rabbit.com. And before you go, take a moment to reflect on what you're grateful for today. Remember, you have the power to create a life you love, and I'm proud of you. Thanks for joining me. Take care.