Ileana is a master of transformation and a free spirit, world traveler, and pillar of light. With her background in psychology and human resource management, she uses her many challenging life experiences to help others find fulfillment and inner peace. She is an adventurous, loving, passionate speaker, lightworker, and inspiring role model who loves nature and animals. Her greatest joy is helping women become strong, confident, and empowered individuals. Ileana has a strong value base focusing on kindness and generosity of heart, which has led her to do work to empower women. We discuss how programs such as Ileana’s can help people work through difficult times, and that it is important not to go through it alone. She shares the details of her sabbaticals and how the lessons she learned from them still shape her decisions today. Lastly, we break down the importance of self-care and some powerful mental frameworks for prioritizing it in your life.
Ileana’s hype song is Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars
Website: www.empoweredwomennow.com
Follow Ileana on Facebook: www.facebook.com/ileana.rontea
Connect with Ileana on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/ileanarontea/
Today’s episode is sponsored by Zen Rabbit. If you’d like to find peace of mind amidst the chaos and no matter what’s going on around you, you’ll find a whole bunch of free resources, like meditations and articles at ZenRabbit.com. And while you’re there, if you’re curious about how you might stop working so hard and achieve more success at the same time – get a copy of The Five Easy Ways to Start Living a Sabbatical Life. It’s a short guide to working less and living better. Find it all at ZenRabbit.com.
Transcript
Hey, my friend. Welcome to Fine is a four letter word.
Speaker:My name is Lori Saitz.
Speaker:I'm an entrepreneur, mentor, founder of Zen Rabbit, and your instigator in saying fuck
Speaker:being fine. This show is for those of you who are done living with the dumpster fire
Speaker:and are ready to find the tools and courage to transform to step into more success and
Speaker:fulfillment in both your personal and business life.
Speaker:You're in the right place for stories of self discovery, gratitude and connection, and
Speaker:to help you strengthen that connection to your own inner guidance, you'll find each
Speaker:episode has an accompanying meditation.
Speaker:Now let's get into it.
Speaker:Ileana Rontea is a master of transformation and a free spirit, world traveler and pillar
Speaker:of Light. With her background in psychology and human resource management.
Speaker:She uses her many challenging life experiences to help others find fulfillment
Speaker:and inner peace.
Speaker:She was raised all over the world and has lived in four different cultures across 13
Speaker:different countries, which taught her how to fit into different cultures while staying
Speaker:true to her own values and beliefs.
Speaker:Continuing our theme of sabbaticals this season, Elena talks about a period in her
Speaker:life when she worked on cruise ships as a human resources manager.
Speaker:Despite the pay and benefits being good and the travel being enjoyable, it was ultimately
Speaker:draining on her and she eventually knew she had to move on.
Speaker:During this time, she took a sabbatical her first and went to Mexico to get certified in
Speaker:Human Resource Management.
Speaker:This was the first time she had put herself first and the experience was invaluable.
Speaker:In this conversation, we discuss how programs such as Elena's can help people work
Speaker:through difficult times and how important it is to not just say, It's fine, I've got it on
Speaker:my own. And to ask for help when you need it.
Speaker:She shares the details of her second sabbatical and how the lessons she learned
Speaker:from it still shape her decisions today.
Speaker:Lastly, we break down the importance of self care and some powerful mental frameworks for
Speaker:prioritizing it in your life.
Speaker:So sit back, take care of yourself and enjoy the ride as we hear from Elena Ron Taylor.
Speaker:Today's episode is sponsored by Zen Rabbit.
Speaker:If you'd like to find peace of mind amidst the chaos, and no matter what's going on
Speaker:around you, you'll find a whole bunch of free resources like meditations and articles
Speaker:at Zen Rabbit dot com.
Speaker:And while you're there, if you're curious about how you might stop working so hard and
Speaker:achieve more success at the same time, get a copy of the five Easy ways to Start Living a
Speaker:Sabbatical life.
Speaker:It's a short guide to working less and living better.
Speaker:Find it all at Zen Rabbit Dotcom.
Speaker:Hello and welcome to Fine is a four letter word getting back into the flow here after a
Speaker:few months away from recording new episodes.
Speaker:So I'm I'm super excited to have Ileana Ron here with us today.
Speaker:Welcome, Ileana.
Speaker:Thanks so much for having me. Laurie It's a pleasure to be here.
Speaker:We started having a conversation about you coming on as a guest months and months ago,
Speaker:like the beginning of season two, maybe even.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:And so as we were just saying before we started recording, like everything happens in
Speaker:exactly the right time that it's supposed to happen.
Speaker:Absolutely. We're finally making it happen.
Speaker:Yes, I love it.
Speaker:I love it. Let me start with asking you the question that I love starting my
Speaker:conversations with, and that is, what were the values and beliefs that you were raised
Speaker:with that contributed to making you who you are today?
Speaker:So I was raised kind of like all over the world.
Speaker:By the age of 12, I lived in four different cultures, four different languages.
Speaker:So probably one of the biggest values was tolerance of others and adaptability.
Speaker:Because when you're that young and you're you're moving around so much, you're
Speaker:constantly leaving and starting over and leaving and starting over.
Speaker:But definitely the the tolerance of others.
Speaker:So I never really looked at people's ethnic background or color or like these things
Speaker:didn't really enter my head.
Speaker:And I always had friends from all over the world.
Speaker:So that's still holds to this day.
Speaker:Okay. And how how have you incorporated that into what you do, like how you live your
Speaker:life? Because because one of the things that happened since when we first started talking
Speaker:to now was that you moved countries.
Speaker:Yeah. So this is country number 13.
Speaker:I'm living in France right now.
Speaker:And again, it's the tolerance and the adaptability and being able to just integrate
Speaker:as much as possible in different cultures and be as accepting and as non rigid as
Speaker:possible, because it's always the rigidity that has you're doing this right.
Speaker:So when you're moving around so much, you need to fit yourself into what's happening
Speaker:around you and you need to step up and you need to make an effort to meet people and
Speaker:integrate into that particular community that you're becoming a part of.
Speaker:So yes, it's helped me very much, which.
Speaker:As you were saying, fitting yourself in.
Speaker:Does that then did that ever have a negative?
Speaker:What's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker:Like, was there a negative to that into Because now I'm thinking och trying to be to
Speaker:fit in and and be who other people expect you to.
Speaker:Be in so much.
Speaker:Yeah. I only fit in so much.
Speaker:It's more about having a social life and being able to integrate and speak to other
Speaker:people. And so I'm not alone all the time because I'm a single person.
Speaker:So it's more to do with that as opposed to anything else, because I have a very strong
Speaker:value base of my own.
Speaker:I have my own belief system.
Speaker:And some of the values that you're talking about also have to do with kindness and
Speaker:generosity of heart.
Speaker:So that's that's always kind of like a constant, which is part of the reason I
Speaker:started the business that I'm doing right now, empowering women, doing trainings,
Speaker:empowering women. This is all this is all in the same vein, because I really want to see a
Speaker:different world. I want to see a world where most of us are generous and giving and kind
Speaker:to one another.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:And, you know, I think that it comes back to that Anne Frank quote about how most people
Speaker:are kind underneath like that.
Speaker:Most people are good, I think is what she had written in her diary and I think
Speaker:circumstances or X and or expectations mold people into thinking they have to be
Speaker:something different.
Speaker:Yeah. And hardened them.
Speaker:Yes. Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah. What what work did you have to do to.
Speaker:Help yourself fit in, but still be an individual in those different cultures.
Speaker:Yeah. So I'm very I'm very social so I can talk to anybody.
Speaker:But when it comes to real close friendships, I'm very selective and I'm selective and it
Speaker:all comes from my heart.
Speaker:Like I just know who to gravitate towards and I know who to allow in and I know who not
Speaker:to allow. And and definitely the one thing for me that will always be a turnoff is
Speaker:somebody who I don't feel is genuine.
Speaker:Being genuine and authentic is probably the most important thing for me because that's
Speaker:how I operate in the world.
Speaker:And if I if I see somebody who's being different or who has an agenda or who's being
Speaker:disingenuous, I automatically just pull back.
Speaker:So I can I can certainly have superficial conversations with anyone.
Speaker:But as far as heart friends are concerned, I'm very I'm very much choosing my own tribe
Speaker:at all times.
Speaker:That becomes easier as we get older.
Speaker:Mm hmm. Was that what was?
Speaker:Did you have a struggle with that when you were younger?
Speaker:Because of all the.
Speaker:Kids.
Speaker:Moving around?
Speaker:Not. Not really.
Speaker:You know, I instinctively I instinctively I was very intuitive, even as a child.
Speaker:So I always knew who to gravitate towards, and I always knew who to stay away from.
Speaker:And, you know, like some some women are attracted to bad boys and all of that scene
Speaker:because it's exciting. I never had that problem.
Speaker:I was attracted to that.
Speaker:All right. For me, it was always kindness, kindness and gentleness and authenticity that
Speaker:always attracted me and, you know, friends or boyfriends or whatever.
Speaker:It was always the same thing that resonated inside with me.
Speaker:Yeah. Well, since the show is called, Fine is a four letter word.
Speaker:Tell us about the time or a time.
Speaker:If there was more than one pick, pick one where everything was fine.
Speaker:You said everything was fine, but it really wasn't fine.
Speaker:I've had so many changes in my life.
Speaker:It's really kind of difficult to pinpoint one time.
Speaker:I'll just. I'll just go with some.
Speaker:A general one. I used to work on cruise ships.
Speaker:I was human resources manager, and so I was responsible.
Speaker:I was the only human resources presence on the ship of, you know, we're talking 750 plus
Speaker:crew members.
Speaker:So I was kind of like part human resources, part priest, part counselor, part training.
Speaker:I mean, I wore I wore all these hats and, you know, the pay was very good and the
Speaker:benefits were very good. I did a lot of travel.
Speaker:I met interesting people.
Speaker:But what it took out of me was a lot more it just took everything out of me.
Speaker:So I kept leaving ships and then I would do something else and then I would go back and I
Speaker:kept leaving and coming back.
Speaker:And eventually I just realized I couldn't do it anymore because it was just not it was not
Speaker:resonating with me and it was just so draining.
Speaker:So that's when I thought, okay, enough of ships and I'm going to I'm going to do
Speaker:something else. And I've had a number of career changes in my life.
Speaker:So but that was when I just knew it looks good on the outside.
Speaker:And I was an officer and I had the four stripes and I had all of the benefits and all
Speaker:of that. But it just wasn't it just wasn't feeding my spirit because it was just taking
Speaker:away too much. So I loved the work itself.
Speaker:But the fact that it was 24, seven, four or five for five months on board a ship was just
Speaker:really a lot.
Speaker:Yeah. Hmm.
Speaker:Why did you keep going back?
Speaker:Because I love the travel, and I liked the non conventional lifestyle.
Speaker:I mean, all I. You know, when you're in that when you're in that role, all I had to do was
Speaker:work and have fun.
Speaker:So I didn't have to do all the mundane things that, you know, that we normally don't
Speaker:like to do. Everything else was taken care of for me, but on the other hand, I was I was
Speaker:pretty much selling, selling my soul because that was right.
Speaker:So demanding.
Speaker:Right. And so draining.
Speaker:And there was so many issues that were happening all the time.
Speaker:And it was like nonstop.
Speaker:So finally I thought, okay, I'm getting to an age where I can't do this anymore and I
Speaker:don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker:So I need to look at another alternative.
Speaker:But the experience that I gained during that time was invaluable.
Speaker:Absolutely invaluable.
Speaker:What kind of soul searching did you have to go through when you left, or is that not the
Speaker:place? Did you just jump into something else?
Speaker:Like where was the the time when you had to stop and go, What does my soul really want?
Speaker:So so this is interesting because you and I talked about the sabbatical, right?
Speaker:Mm hmm. So the first time I took a sabbatical was when I left ships because I
Speaker:was doing this human resources role.
Speaker:But I didn't actually have formal training for it.
Speaker:So the company I was working for had trained me in how their company operated as well as
Speaker:human resources. And there was a lot of training and it was very intense.
Speaker:But I didn't actually have formal training, so I decided to take some time off and do
Speaker:some travel and go back to school.
Speaker:So I took about a year off and I went down to Mexico.
Speaker:I went to Cozumel, which is a really beautiful little island, and I spent six
Speaker:months of my life dedicating myself to getting certification in Human Resource
Speaker:Management from an organization in the UK, which is the equivalent of Sherm in the US,
Speaker:and they had a specific six month intensive specifically for people who worked in the
Speaker:industry but who didn't have the educational background.
Speaker:So that was a really amazing time because it was the first time I put.
Speaker:Myself first.
Speaker:And so there was no income.
Speaker:Obviously, I had savings and I thought, okay, I'm going to dedicate six months of my
Speaker:life to educating myself.
Speaker:So where am I going to do it?
Speaker:I'm going to do it somewhere beautiful.
Speaker:I'm going to do it somewhere that feeds my spirit, too.
Speaker:So, you know, I had been on ships and I was exhausted and I needed to get back into shape
Speaker:and I needed to take care of myself.
Speaker:So I got this beautiful place in Cozumel that I was absolutely in love with.
Speaker:I used to go swimming all the time and walking, and I started weight training and
Speaker:cooking really healthy and and studying.
Speaker:And I graduated with distinction.
Speaker:And I was extremely proud of the work that I had done and that actually opened the avenue
Speaker:for other things.
Speaker:So what I definitely learned from that particular sabbatical was that it's okay not
Speaker:to always have to be working full time when you're when you're taking care of yourself
Speaker:and you're doing other things that feeds your spirit.
Speaker:And I loved human resource management.
Speaker:I was I was so happy that I had taken that course.
Speaker:There was these two huge books like this, lots and lots of assignments, and it was like
Speaker:this huge final exam.
Speaker:I had to fly to the UK to write, but it was it was worth every minute.
Speaker:It was absolutely fantastic.
Speaker:So I was really happy that I did that and that did change the trajectory.
Speaker:You bring up a good point there in that you were on a sabbatical, you were still working,
Speaker:but you were doing work that filled your heart with joy.
Speaker:Yes, yes.
Speaker:And there's a very big difference there when you are slogging through every day, working
Speaker:at something that's sucking your soul out versus working at something that brings you
Speaker:joy. Like being honest.
Speaker:Sabbatical doesn't necessarily mean not doing anything and just act like a slug,
Speaker:right? Yeah, I wanted to point that out because a lot of times people think taking a
Speaker:sabbatical means doing nothing.
Speaker:Exactly. And it's not true.
Speaker:I know people who have taken sabbaticals and have traveled.
Speaker:They've done a ton of travel, and that is helps you grow as a person, right?
Speaker:Yes. Well, and that's another definition.
Speaker:I think people also think of sabbatical means taking time off to travel.
Speaker:But not necessarily work like that.
Speaker:Work is not a component of a sabbatical.
Speaker:But to your point, you were working, you were studying, doing something that lights
Speaker:you up, not drain you.
Speaker:Yes, exactly.
Speaker:And the second time I took a sabbatical, it was sort of kind of forced on me because my
Speaker:mother got sick with cancer and she wanted to die at home.
Speaker:And she asked me to stay and take care of her.
Speaker:So I had this period of time where it was work, unpaid work, and it was hard work.
Speaker:And it was it was completely it changed my life, having to take care of my parents in
Speaker:that particular way.
Speaker:And after she passed away, there was my father to take care of, and he was completely
Speaker:lost. There was the estate to take care of.
Speaker:There was all these things.
Speaker:And then I moved to Europe.
Speaker:So this was about a four year break that I had where I had to not just do all of these
Speaker:very emotionally draining things, but then I took time for myself to put myself back
Speaker:together.
Speaker:I was just going to ask you if you did that.
Speaker:Yeah, it was it was kind of essential because I had adrenal fatigue and I just I knew I
Speaker:wouldn't be able to. I needed the rest and the time for me.
Speaker:So yes, I did that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Congratulations to you for recognizing that you needed that.
Speaker:But and at the same time, your body was telling you you needed that.
Speaker:So I just got off a phone call before we started our interview with somebody who's
Speaker:going to be a guest in the future about her sabbatical was forced by her health.
Speaker:Like she faced a health situation that forced her to leave everything she had been
Speaker:doing before. And you're talking about adrenal fatigue.
Speaker:I think a lot of people have that, but don't allow themselves to recognize that they have
Speaker:it. So I'm just going to push through it.
Speaker:It's okay. Yes, I can manage.
Speaker:Yes, Yes.
Speaker:And this is you serve them?
Speaker:No. And you know, we do these training courses for women.
Speaker:So one of the things we talk to them about is recognizing when you're heading for
Speaker:burnout. It's recognizing when you've got too much on your plate.
Speaker:It's being self compassionate.
Speaker:It's taking care of you.
Speaker:Because if you allow yourself to fall apart, you're not good to yourself or anyone else.
Speaker:And really, we're not taught to self care.
Speaker:We're not taught to be self compassionate, especially as women.
Speaker:We're taught to push through.
Speaker:We're taught that we have to keep giving and giving.
Speaker:And I'm all about giving.
Speaker:But if I don't give to me first, I'm going to be give me from an empty cup.
Speaker:And at that point, there's not going to be much there.
Speaker:And I've seen people in burnout.
Speaker:It's not it's not a pretty place.
Speaker:It's not somewhere that I would advise anyone to allow themselves to get to know the
Speaker:signs, know yourself, you know, and this is when you start to connect with your inner
Speaker:person.
Speaker:Yeah, it's interesting how so many people don't connect to their inner self, that inner
Speaker:voice, until they're in dire circumstances.
Speaker:And it doesn't have to be that way.
Speaker:Like your program. My program, my fuck being fine program.
Speaker:That and, and the the living the sabbatical life program that I have now helps people get
Speaker:in touch with those emotions, those feelings, that voice.
Speaker:That voice is always talking to us, but we are not always listening.
Speaker:And sometimes we know we should be.
Speaker:We know we should be. But then there's all these external voices that we've been
Speaker:programmed to listen to because this is how we have to live our lives, which is total
Speaker:nonsense, right? It's nonsense.
Speaker:Right? Yes.
Speaker:Somebody else is telling you how you you need to live your life.
Speaker:And they're really only speaking from their own fears and experiences and programs and
Speaker:programming. Exactly.
Speaker:Yes, Exactly. Yes.
Speaker:It's fascinating once you start looking into it all.
Speaker:Yeah. Yes. So it.
Speaker:Really is. And, you know, I really would advise anyone who's at a point where maybe
Speaker:they don't know what to do with themselves and they need a break.
Speaker:Take the damn break.
Speaker:Take the time and figure out what it is that you need.
Speaker:Is it a new course?
Speaker:Is it something that's going to help you grow mentally?
Speaker:Do you need to take care of your body?
Speaker:Do you need to take care of your spirit?
Speaker:Do you just need to go on like on on a spiritual retreat for a month?
Speaker:I've done that too, and that was part of another part of my life.
Speaker:So, you know, know what it is that you're looking for, know what it is that you need.
Speaker:And exactly as you said, listen to that voice inside.
Speaker:Because unless you do that, you're going to live somebody else's life, right?
Speaker:Yeah. What what do you say to people who say, well, I can't do that because I have to raise
Speaker:my children or I don't?
Speaker:Have the money or now's not the right time or all of these other reasons why they can't.
Speaker:So again, you have to know your own circumstances and you'll find that if you're
Speaker:really eager and really focused on doing this, there will show up a way will show up.
Speaker:And also, you need to ask for help.
Speaker:So I find a lot of strong independent women don't like to ask for help because they feel
Speaker:it's weak somehow, that they need to be able to handle everything by themselves.
Speaker:And I think that's a mistake because that's the road to really burnout.
Speaker:If you want to take a month off and you need somebody to take care of your kids, see if a
Speaker:relative can do it, a parent, a grandparent, whoever.
Speaker:See if you can work something out with the friend, whatever it is.
Speaker:But take the time.
Speaker:It doesn't mean you don't love your kids.
Speaker:It doesn't mean any of that.
Speaker:It just means that you are self caring.
Speaker:And again, we need to do that more.
Speaker:And as women, we need to learn to do that a second nature because we give so much.
Speaker:Do you think this is generational, that Gen X is especially.
Speaker:Terrible at asking for help.
Speaker:I'm not you know, it's very good question.
Speaker:I don't actually think so.
Speaker:I think it's this programming that we have that women are indoctrinated since they're
Speaker:tiny, that it's their job to please other people.
Speaker:It's their job to always be giving.
Speaker:It's their job to always be supporting.
Speaker:It's their job to be there for others.
Speaker:I don't know of too many parents who talk to their kids about self care.
Speaker:It doesn't it doesn't seem to be a topic of conversation.
Speaker:What do you think? I've never seen any parent who says that.
Speaker:Make sure you take care of yourself.
Speaker:That is such a good point.
Speaker:Now that I'm thinking about it.
Speaker:I certainly wasn't.
Speaker:I don't remember being having that conversation.
Speaker:You know, I used to I teach I've taught networking skills to people before, you know,
Speaker:like how to walk into a room full of people that you don't know and start conversations.
Speaker:And I've always said that's another skill that people don't learn at home or in school.
Speaker:And you're bringing up this this idea of self care.
Speaker:Like, I think that some a lot of times we see parents getting massage or having their
Speaker:nails done like, but that's not true.
Speaker:That's a small piece of self care.
Speaker:Yes. Yes.
Speaker:Agreed.
Speaker:Yeah, agreed.
Speaker:I mean, you can self care without getting your nails done.
Speaker:So. So knowing knowing what it is that you particularly need, that's you know, that's
Speaker:where it comes into listening to that intuition, that inner voice, because it will
Speaker:tell you what it is that you need.
Speaker:I knew I needed to be somewhere beautiful if I was going to study so hard because I it was
Speaker:a master's level program.
Speaker:So it was very intense.
Speaker:And I thought, I'm going to go somewhere beautiful and be happy to do this in this
Speaker:beautiful place. And yeah, I'm not going to be making money during that time, but it's
Speaker:okay. You know, I really need this right now.
Speaker:I need to replenish.
Speaker:It was the best decision I ever made, honestly.
Speaker:I bet it was because when you put yourself in that beautiful place and again, it doesn't
Speaker:have to be tropical, you don't have to necessarily go off to another country.
Speaker:But when you put yourself into a place that feels.
Speaker:That makes you.
Speaker:Happy, that's right.
Speaker:You're a happy place.
Speaker:You're raising your energetic vibration.
Speaker:When you raise your energetic vibration, you attract more good things to you.
Speaker:It's absolutely I was going to say it's a vicious cycle, but it's not vicious.
Speaker:It's it's a beautiful.
Speaker:Positive cycle.
Speaker:Yes. Yes.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And more people need to understand that that it also that self care, the more you take
Speaker:care of yourself, the more things show up to help you take care of yourself.
Speaker:And perhaps the question that people could be asking themselves instead of.
Speaker:I can't. Instead of making that statement, I can't do that is asking the question, how can
Speaker:I?
Speaker:How exactly?
Speaker:Exactly. And discuss it.
Speaker:Discuss it with your closest friend, discuss it with your partner, discuss it, and just
Speaker:say, look, I'm at this point where I could really use a break.
Speaker:Can you help me brainstorm some ways we can do it?
Speaker:And it doesn't have to be six months.
Speaker:Maybe it just needs to be three, four weeks, whatever it is that works.
Speaker:And most organizations now are willing to work with you to make that happen.
Speaker:And there's there's programs that you can work with in most organizations to allow you
Speaker:to do that, because a lot of organizations realize the need for that, because their
Speaker:employees come back refreshed and they have a totally different perspective and attitude.
Speaker:You don't want somebody who's exhausted and burnt out because they're not going to
Speaker:perform, they're not going to be happy.
Speaker:It's not going to help anybody.
Speaker:So there's a lot I'm really happy to see this in the workforce now that there's a lot
Speaker:more understanding of this.
Speaker:In the progressive companies.
Speaker:In some companies, of course there are, of course.
Speaker:So many companies that don't see the connection and aren't willing to sacrifice
Speaker:the productivity.
Speaker:Of not realizing that people are more productive when they do take these breaks.
Speaker:Exactly. It's just like if you think about it, it's just like not giving people
Speaker:weekends, because if you don't give people weekends, what are you doing?
Speaker:You're just working them. 24 seven.
Speaker:So it's just it's the same idea.
Speaker:People need sometimes a longer break than just that weekend for whatever.
Speaker:For whatever reason it is, everybody's life is different.
Speaker:And that's the other thing we need to honor is that everybody's life is different and at
Speaker:different times. We need different things.
Speaker:And life is not just about work.
Speaker:This is another program we've had drilled in, right?
Speaker:Like it's have to be working all the time.
Speaker:Yeah. No you don't.
Speaker:Right. Work is a piece of what you do.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:It's not who you are.
Speaker:It's a piece of what you do.
Speaker:And let's go to that word doing.
Speaker:We are beings like we keep hearing this.
Speaker:You are human beings, not human doings.
Speaker:And we still don't get it.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:Still, I got to keep doing I got to be I'm guilty of it as anybody else of.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:My worth is tied to my productivity.
Speaker:If I didn't accomplish enough today, if I didn't get everything on my to do list done,
Speaker:then I need to keep working until it is done and then I can have fun.
Speaker:Then I will allow myself to take a break.
Speaker:And that is the programming we all have.
Speaker:Right. And that's what we need to wake up and say.
Speaker:It doesn't have to be like that.
Speaker:Right. Right.
Speaker:So it's a matter of reprogramming our brains.
Speaker:Yes. And even becoming aware.
Speaker:Yes, certainly.
Speaker:Number one is becoming aware.
Speaker:What are some of the techniques that you've used to reprogram your brain?
Speaker:Well, I've always been kind of an unconventional kind of person.
Speaker:So my life has never really been like most people's.
Speaker:I don't have a problem stepping out of the norm and doing things according to how I feel
Speaker:is right for me and I.
Speaker:I have been accused before of being selfish.
Speaker:But there is a there's a huge difference between being selfish and between self
Speaker:caring. And this is another thing that needs to be discussed because a lot of people and
Speaker:especially women, feel that if they self care, they're being selfish.
Speaker:Being selfish means that you don't care about anybody but yourself.
Speaker:It's your number one, and that's all that matters.
Speaker:That's not the case for most people.
Speaker:Most people are very giving and loving and to the point that they forget that they also
Speaker:need this care and love and compassion and giving to themselves and that there's a small
Speaker:child inside.
Speaker:Right. Inner child work has a lot to do with coming to realize that I do need to nurture
Speaker:myself and I do need to take care of myself.
Speaker:If you can see yourself in that way, then it shifts a lot of things, right?
Speaker:Because I'm a very demanding person of myself.
Speaker:So I'm I'm like, exactly like you said, But I'll tell you, the last two weeks, I was
Speaker:really sick. I was sick, and I couldn't do hardly anything.
Speaker:And I had to be self compassionate and say, all I just want to do is sleep.
Speaker:And that's okay because I'm sick and it's okay.
Speaker:And it's and I had to keep telling myself this.
Speaker:This is how I'm self caring, right?
Speaker:I did a little bit.
Speaker:I did as much as I could, and then I allowed myself to rest because that's what my body
Speaker:was demanding. And we are just so programmed to feel guilty about that, right?
Speaker:To feel like, Oh my God, I'm not like, look at my to do list.
Speaker:I'm so far behind.
Speaker:Right, right. I have all these calls lined up.
Speaker:Those people are going to be disappointed.
Speaker:I'm not going to be able to reschedule them.
Speaker:What are they going to think?
Speaker:It's just we're human.
Speaker:We're human and we have to give ourselves the permission that it's okay.
Speaker:It's okay not to be productive at all times.
Speaker:I just recently read a very interesting book and this woman said something very
Speaker:interesting. You know, there's seasons for everything, right?
Speaker:And nature is very cyclical.
Speaker:But we have been again, programmed that we have to go 24 seven.
Speaker:We have to always be productive.
Speaker:We always have to be growing.
Speaker:We're not allowed any internal winter time.
Speaker:She calls it a time when you just get more quiet and you go more within and you're not
Speaker:as productive outward because you're nurturing your inner self.
Speaker:We're not taught again, this is something else.
Speaker:We're not taught that we have the cycles.
Speaker:And especially as women, I think we're much more in tune with those kinds of things.
Speaker:But again, we shut down that voice because 20,000 things need to be done and we forget
Speaker:about ourselves.
Speaker:Yeah, not realizing that those seasons are required.
Speaker:Like you can't.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:Spring if you don't have winter.
Speaker:So you have to get quiet enough and allow yourself to step back and recharge in order
Speaker:to go at it again. Exactly.
Speaker:Yes. And she said, no flower blooms year round, no tree yields fruit year round.
Speaker:Yeah. There's there's there's times when it's okay to be a little bit more quiet and
Speaker:not as out there. So I found that of course you know this, right?
Speaker:We know this. But the way that it was put forward this way, it was so clear and it made
Speaker:so much sense to me. I was like, Yeah, I have to honor that.
Speaker:I have to honor that. I also need that quiet time.
Speaker:And it's okay if it's on a regular basis, you know, everybody's different and that's
Speaker:what you need to honor.
Speaker:Yeah, it needs to be on a regular basis.
Speaker:Yes. When you are taking these breaks on a regular basis, you.
Speaker:More likely.
Speaker:I'm not going to say you won't, but you will more likely not reach a crisis point where
Speaker:your health.
Speaker:Whether that's physical, mental, psychological health forces it because it
Speaker:will eventually force it.
Speaker:Yes. Nobody's getting out of this life alive.
Speaker:So the thing is, how do you stay healthy for as long as possible, healthy and joyful,
Speaker:living in, enjoy and enjoy precisely the the life that you have.
Speaker:You can run yourself into the ground.
Speaker:And then live out the last whatever, 20.
Speaker:30 years worn down because you haven't taken.
Speaker:If if you even get to do that, you know how many people retire and then a year later they
Speaker:die because they're so engaged in their work, it's the only thing that defines them.
Speaker:So my gosh, who wants that?
Speaker:Nobody wants that. You want to be able to live a joyful life at all times and to have
Speaker:once you do retire, you don't have these responsibilities.
Speaker:You want to have another life where you you get creative and you do whatever it is that
Speaker:makes your heart glow.
Speaker:If you are not able to do that during your career.
Speaker:So, I mean, it doesn't have to be like that.
Speaker:But if you define yourself by your by your work, if that's all that matters, then once
Speaker:it's over, you don't know who you are anymore.
Speaker:Yeah. Yeah. And work being whatever it could be.
Speaker:Raising children.
Speaker:Exactly. It could be whatever the work is.
Speaker:But once that work is finished.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Then who?
Speaker:Who are you for?
Speaker:And that is, who are.
Speaker:You and what you're going to.
Speaker:Do. Right. And that's a point where a lot of people are reaching now.
Speaker:A lot of people who listen to this show are reaching now, asking themselves, well, who am
Speaker:I now? And and looking for ways to figure out the answers to that.
Speaker:And it all comes back to at the very least.
Speaker:Getting in touch with that inner voice and allowing yourself to hear your inner voice.
Speaker:Absolutely. Absolutely.
Speaker:And that's for everything.
Speaker:Like if you live if you live connected to that inner voice, that's what's going to help
Speaker:you in every decision in your life, not just about when to take time off, but who to
Speaker:choose as friends and which path to take.
Speaker:And sometimes it's a practice to learn how to listen and to actually hear what it says,
Speaker:because sometimes it says stuff we don't want to hear.
Speaker:Right? Exactly.
Speaker:But that's where that's where it starts to get difficult.
Speaker:But if we learn to just allow and just listen with an open mind and just go with it,
Speaker:it changes everything.
Speaker:It really, really does.
Speaker:Yeah. And that's where programs like what you offer and what I offer can help people work
Speaker:through some of that.
Speaker:This isn't something that you need to do alone.
Speaker:It is true that you are the only one who can hear your inner voice, but that doesn't mean
Speaker:you have to do all the work just by yourself alone.
Speaker:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I am so appreciative that we finally got to have this conversation.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Because some really important points here.
Speaker:Before we go, what is the song that you listen.
Speaker:To.
Speaker:To get hyped up?
Speaker:What's your what's your song that you need?
Speaker:Listen to when you need an extra boost of energy.
Speaker:Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars.
Speaker:Oh, that's. That's a good one.
Speaker:Yeah, right.
Speaker:Okay. I got it in my head now.
Speaker:Yeah, I hear it.
Speaker:Yes. Yes.
Speaker:Adding that to the playlist sometimes I put on some music in the morning when I'm
Speaker:brushing my teeth to get charged up for the day.
Speaker:That's a good one.
Speaker:Yep, I think so too.
Speaker:Yeah. Now lastly, if people want to continue a conversation with you, what is the best way
Speaker:for them to reach to reach out to you?
Speaker:So my company is w w w dot empowered women now dot com.
Speaker:And my email is hello at empowered women now dot com.
Speaker:Fantastic. We'll put links to that as well as the link to the to the song Uptown Funk in
Speaker:the show notes.
Speaker:Awesome.
Speaker:Thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker:Ileana on fine is a four letter word.
Speaker:Thanks so much, Laurie.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:What an awesome conversation today's five key takeaways are.
Speaker:Number one, self care is important and taking a break can help you grow mentally and
Speaker:spiritually. Number two women often feel guilty for taking care of themselves, but
Speaker:it's okay to not be productive all the time.
Speaker:Number three, it is essential to connect with your inner self and be self
Speaker:compassionate. Number four, recognize that you're worth is not tied to productivity.
Speaker:I have said this before and I am going to keep saying it because I need to hear it just
Speaker:as much as you do.
Speaker:And number five, it is important to not go through difficult times alone.
Speaker:Find the support you need.
Speaker:Thanks for being here and subscribing to Fine is a four letter word.
Speaker:Please share this show with a friend or a colleague.
Speaker:If you're feeling especially generous, leave a review so other people like you can
Speaker:discover the show too.
Speaker:It's on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Stitcher, and all the
Speaker:major podcast directories.
Speaker:You can join me on social too.
Speaker:On Instagram, its Zen underscore rabbit.
Speaker:You can find links to the other platforms at Zen Rabbit dot com.
Speaker:Before you go, remember to take a moment to think about what you're grateful for today.
Speaker:Lastly, you can find this week's meditation cued up right after this episode.
Speaker:And if no one's told you this week, I'm proud of you.