49. (S2E13) Setting Her Own Course with Sabrina Victoria

Sabrina Victoria

[00:00:00] Sabrina Victoria: Hello. And

[00:00:02] Lori Saitz: Hello, and welcome to fine is a four-letter word. My guest today is Sabrina Victoria, and I'm so excited to have you here.

[00:00:09] Sabrina Victoria: Thank you for inviting me.

I appreciate it.

[00:00:15] Lori Saitz: This is going to be a good conversation. I can already just tell from our pre chat and oh yeah. Yeah. So jumping right into it. What were the values and the beliefs that you want? Raised with that contributed to you becoming who you've

[00:00:32] Sabrina Victoria: oh, my values and beliefs that I was raised with totally different than what I am now. So I'm going to say absolutely nothing. Say a lot of nothing. Um, I had to recreate. Um, a lot of my views and a lot of my, uh, values, um, during this journey, uh, cause I didn't really appreciate. What I was given as, as a young one, I was born and raised as a Jehovah's witness.

And I had a mindset of being very quiet and very submissive and not having a voice and did not question anything ever, because I did try to do that a couple of times, and it didn't really work out in my favor. So I learned very quickly to quiet myself and along the journey, I ended up in very controlling.

Abusive relationships because of that like personality trait that I had acquired at a young age. And in order to get out of those circumstances, I had to recreate myself. I had to find my own power. I had to figure out new value systems, new belief systems that were totally different than what I had previously.

Um, Held onto in order to become.

who I am today.

[00:01:57] Lori Saitz: What were w at what age did you start questioning what was going on? The things that you were being.

[00:02:05] Sabrina Victoria: young, probably 16, 17, but I didn't do anything. So when I finally started to voice myself would be. literally 30. Um, I went to this, um, when she may have heard of it, it's called landmark landmark forum. It's like an education that you could get that like, a lot of people don't necessarily appreciate very much, but I freaking loved it because it was so different than anything I had ever heard of before.

And that was kind of what catapulted me into the world of self-develop. Um, like full force. I hadn't been to Tony Robbins. I had been to like a gratitude course and stuff, but that whole genre of that is what really kind of forced me to use my mouth and like, actually think for myself. But

[00:03:03] Lori Saitz: I want to get, I want to get more into that, but first I want to talk about the journey that brought you to that point. So. Backing up to. Okay. So you were questioning these, these values and beliefs as a Jehovah's witness, and then you ended up leaving because

[00:03:23] Sabrina Victoria: Well, I didn't leave. They kicked me out because I was, I got pregnant.

[00:03:27] Lori Saitz: okay. Right, right, right, right.

[00:03:29] Sabrina Victoria: I got pregnant when I was 20. So they have a rule where you're not supposed to date or do anything. You're not even supposed to hold hands with anybody.

Um, which is why a lot of Jehovah's witnesses get married, super young because their hormones are raging. So they get married. My sister, for instance, got married at like barely 19 years. Um, so anyways, I wasn't married. I was so signal single at 20 and I ended up pregnant. And if you end up sending, then they kick you out.

So I got kicked out and I had a chance. I did wind up going back, um, repenting and like doing all of the steps to get back in. But I got back in because they close off your entire community. So they like totally cut you off from your entire family, your entire church, anything and everything that you ever knew.

So your. Just spirit lead, just trying to like regain your identity back with these people. So, um, I did end up back, but I did, wasn't like mentally in, so it's called like mentally and physically in it's like the verbiage that we use in the JW world. So I was mentally out, but physically in, if that makes sense.

[00:04:39] Lori Saitz: Okay. Yeah. So your parents totally cut you off when you got pregnant.

[00:04:45] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. For two years.

[00:04:46] Lori Saitz: just find that. So hard to believe. I mean, I'm not a parent, but I know how strong those parental ties are. And to just cut off your child seems so like, I

[00:05:01] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. It wasn't fun. Um, so I had gotten in trouble before this also. so this was my second time around. I had had sex before marriage. Yes. That's what they would say. Yes, I had had. At 19 or something like, that. And, um, I got two. It's I don't anyways, I had gotten in trouble already and it was already known in our congregation.

I had already brought shame upon my family's name. So then I did the whole thing back, came back and then I ended up again, but this time pregnant. So my parents freaked out. Literally freaked out. Cause I kept it a secret for four months. Finally, they like brought me outside. They're like, what's going on?

You're throwing up in the toilet. You're gaining weight. You're up till three o'clock in the morning, like something is off. So I didn't even hesitate. I'm like I'm pregnant and there was not good. It was horrible. Kicked me out of the house. Totally. Never to contact them again, told me to never call don't ever ask for money or shame on the.

But then 24 hours later, I like called my boyfriend. He's coming to get me going across state lines to like, get all my stuff. And over that 24 hours of all of that stuff happening by parents sat down with me and they said, Hey, listen. W what are you going to do here? Like, are you staying or are you going, like, we want to help, but like, what is wrong with you?

You know, like, is this like a thing do you want to, and it was just, it was So much, it was so confusing. I was so embarrassed. I felt so bad for my parents. They had already said like a bunch of really, really mean things to me that like hurt my feelings. And like only a few hours had passed. So I had my boyfriends on the way.

So I had to make a decision to like, what am I going to do? So I just left. I just left. I'm like, I don't, I don't want to do this again to you guys. You guys are obviously super pissed at me. I don't want to be in that atmosphere. He's already on his way. So when I made that decision, they're like fine route and, and everything was cut at that moment.

And so, yeah, my son was born. We called to tell them and like no response. Yeah. Nothing.

[00:07:21] Lori Saitz: Which was your boyfriend part of that community.

[00:07:24] Sabrina Victoria: the whole thing. That's what really like, was really bad. But the thing is, is if you do stuff like that inside, they like course you to tell them each other. So if you want to like, have a relationship, like my love language is physical touch.

So like I'm like feeling. Uh, anything. So you can't do that within that religion cause they tell on each other. So I just knew I would experience that. Like it's better to keep that outside, but I ended up pregnant, so. Okay.

So

[00:07:59] Lori Saitz: okay. So now you and your boyfriend have this baby? Where does the story go from there? I mean, not like give us an overview because, because everything is obviously already not fine,

[00:08:16] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. So, um, I ended up, uh, I have the baby, um, dad we're three months in dad is going to church with me, like reluctantly, not wanting to just try and do. Whatever three months in the elders of our congregation, sit down with me and they say, Hey, listen, this is confusing.

You're still living in sin. You need to make a decision to either marry him or leave him. you can't be doing this. God doesn't appreciate this. So me being dumb, thinking like God is going to somehow magically save me. I don't even know?

what I was thinking. I'm like, I just want to get, I was just want to get back with God.

I want my mom. Like, I want to be able to call my mom. So I was just, I'm just like just dumb. And I just, I went to my boyfriend and I was like, we had to break up, we got to break up. I'm trying to get right with God. I'm trying to do this a little while. And he flies off the handle and just leaves the state, no child support nor they can just runs away.

Which like makes sense. But I was like, well,

[00:09:17] Lori Saitz: course in

[00:09:18] Sabrina Victoria: doesn't like, make sense, but like, but it makes sense. Right,

[00:09:22] Lori Saitz: right. right. It's understandable. Especially because wait, wait, how old was he? He was young

[00:09:29] Sabrina Victoria: I was 21 and he was like two or three years older than me.

[00:09:34] Lori Saitz: Yeah. I

[00:09:35] Sabrina Victoria: We're

[00:09:35] Lori Saitz: very, you both are so young. You're, you're doing what you can with the knowledge and experience you have, which is not very

[00:09:42] Sabrina Victoria: So it didn't occur to me again, young, stupid, naive that like. So I thought that like he would just leave and then still like pay half. Child support. He, but he had no money. So he left just like wanting nothing to do with me. And then I'm just sitting in this house or in this apartment, car, baby daycare, food diaper all by myself.

I have no college education. Church's still not talking to me because I'm still disfellowshipped, but they're making me make financial decisions, but they're not helping me financially. Um, no parents, no, no nothing. So now I'm literally by my. And, um, I don't even know, wanting to kill myself, wanting to jump off a bridge, wanting to put my baby at the nearest fire station, wanting it to end, run away, just mess.

And I wind up falling into a relationship months later, like bear eviction notices on my apartment or cars getting repoed out of the parking lot. All this stuff I made a man who I think is like my savior. He's. Going to help me. He's got his finances together and long story short. Um, very quickly. I move in with him. I quit my job, start working for him. I give up my phone and go under his phone bill. I get rid of my car and start using his car. And before I know it very, within a very short amount of time, he's controlling my entire. So, um, I have no money still and have absolutely no control over anything going on in my life whatsoever.

So mental abuse was horrific, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, obviously financial abuse. I had no money and I did that for, I stayed with him for 13 years in total. Utter misery,

[00:11:38] Lori Saitz: Okay.

[00:11:39] Sabrina Victoria: not

[00:11:39] Lori Saitz: How did he treat you? How did he tell? Yeah, yeah, not fine, but, but to everything on the outside, it probably looked fine. Right. This is the whole

[00:11:48] Sabrina Victoria: Oh, beautiful. And I

[00:11:50] Lori Saitz: else.

[00:11:51] Sabrina Victoria: I played it. Yeah. Yeah. I played that role perfectly.

He loved it. yeah.

I played that role perfectly, but I played that role perfectly for my own. Like I had to, I had no other options, you know?

[00:12:07] Lori Saitz: Right. This is the thing that we talk about a lot in, in my fuck being fine program. And Alan on other episodes is that a lot of times people don't even, they say everything is fine because they don't want to acknowledge even to themselves that it's not.

[00:12:26] Sabrina Victoria: exactly. That's exactly where I was super crappy place to be. Yup.

[00:12:34] Lori Saitz: Hang on one second. Are you hearing an echo?

Okay. I am.

[00:12:41] Sabrina Victoria: For your voice or my

[00:12:43] Lori Saitz: it is. Uh, mine.

[00:12:47] Sabrina Victoria: No, I don't hear an echo from us.

[00:12:49] Lori Saitz: know how to fix this. Let me see something. Let me just look. Um,

okay. I want to just look at my audio settings because. It sat on the right things. Um, okay, well, we're going to keep going

[00:13:10] Sabrina Victoria: He might be able to cut out those little.

[00:13:11] Lori Saitz: and I, yeah, it's hard to clear up an echo. I'm still hearing it.

[00:13:17] Sabrina Victoria: I'm so sorry, you sound absolutely perfect on this

[00:13:20] Lori Saitz: no, no, no. It's all good.

[00:13:22] Sabrina Victoria: Okay. Well

[00:13:23] Lori Saitz: Okay. Well hopefully then it will be okay. All right. We're going to keep going then.

Well, let's just see, this is the part, this is why we have a good editor. Um,

[00:13:33] Sabrina Victoria: Yes. All right. So

[00:13:37] Lori Saitz: all right. So yeah, so you're not even admitting to yourself that everything is not fine because that, what would that have meant to have that you would have to do, you would have to address it or take care of it or do something.

[00:13:49] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. And I couldn't financially make any changes because I didn't have any money to escape or go anywhere. So I was completely reliant or dependent on either him or somebody to help me because I had no money.

[00:14:05] Lori Saitz: Did you have any friends?

[00:14:07] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. I mean, eventually, you know, um, I still, I had my best friend who I had forever, you know, since Elijah was small, that was still one of the things that narcissists, he was a narcissist, he's not a diagnosed narcissist. So I know people sometimes have a hard time with me saying that, but he is, um, um, she, uh, they move you around.

So we started out in Chicago. And ended up moving to Ohio, then ended up moving to Pennsylvania, then ended up moving to Florida and they move you around when they feel that you're starting to create some sort of a community. So as soon as I would start to like, you know, he saw something was going on, we would end up moving either states or cities.

So like within those states, we also moved in this. Uh, but he was, I had my best friend forever, who I had from Chicago, who we kept in touch through phone or social media, whatever. And this last, when I actually left, left, Was a woman who I like owe my life to. Her name is Dina who, um, contacted me. She was renting out her home.

She knew I was in a situation. Cause I had opened up to her. I had been saving money and she on a whim. She was just like, Hey, listen, I'm, I'm moving out for just a little while. A couple years with my son, I am renting out my house. You have a week or two, like, I don't know what she said a week or two to decide.

Um, and then I'm listing it. Like make a decision. And she forced me to like, to like say yes to my life, if she wouldn’t have done that, I don't know what would have happened. I think that the outcome would have been different because I was so scared shitless of change of change. So she like pinned me down and she was like, make a decision.

Right now. And within two days, I, I was, uh, I, if, if I could like show you the inside of my body, it was like boiling. I was like, so nervous, like literally physically shaking in my boots in total turmoil of like stepping out into my power, like for real. Um, but, but I did it.

[00:16:22] Lori Saitz: Yeah. Yeah. Something greater was calling to you to say that this, you can't stay in this place any longer and no matter how scared you are, you have to do this. And now is the time here's the opportunity. Like it's like the universe talking to you saying here it is. Say no to this. I mean, you could have, but it inspired you to say yes.

[00:16:49] Sabrina Victoria: It was like way too. Perfect. And it was, it kind of reminded me of like that saying or that, that thing where they're like, um, you know what, I don't want to give that example. Can we cut that? I want to give that example, nevermind. It had to do with God, and I'm not really a God girl, so I don't want to associate with that.

But anyways, go ahead.

[00:17:12] Lori Saitz: Okay. Yeah. So, so you, so you took the opportunity and you moved out and what did your, were you married to him or he was just

[00:17:20] Sabrina Victoria: we were engaged the last four years. We were together. Um, he had proposed to me four years prior. Um, and the, the engagement weekend is actually the weekend that I decided to leave him. But that was it. Yeah, it was this whole

[00:17:36] Lori Saitz: But you were waiting four years.

[00:17:38] Sabrina Victoria: Well, I had to save. Yeah, I had to,

[00:17:40] Lori Saitz: Right, right.

[00:17:42] Sabrina Victoria: a whole plan under. To leave.

[00:17:46] Lori Saitz: Why, why didn't you get married? Was it because you knew you were going to leave or was it because he w like, did he keep asking you, when are we getting

[00:17:55] Sabrina Victoria: yes. Yes. He continued to ask me and it was. It was V I had to be very strategic. I had to be very like tread lightly. I didn't want to marry him. I did not want to marry him. A few of my friends were like, just him, because at that point we had reached a financial level that was like out of this world, you know, I was working my ass off.

He was playing golf every day, but I was working my ass off. I was running all the offices. I was. A hundred people, um, door to door sales crews, and we were free. We had five houses paid off zero debt, 12 cars, like we were just living go. Right. And people were like, dude, you freaking worked your ass off. You need. To like take what's yours. And I just did it. Why I didn't want that whole mess. Like I wasn't trying to, I wasn't with him for the money I was with him because I honestly wanted a family. I honestly wanted it to work. Um, I wasn't trying to get anything from him ever one time. And then when it got to that point where I finally realized it wasn't going to work, I didn't want all that.

I just wanted to leave, you know, I just wanted out, I wanted to leave. I didn't want any ties to him. I didn't want him to ever be able to say at one point, cause I knew what I was going to build, the vision that I have and what I'm building right now. I already had that vision. I already knew what my story was going to be.

I already knew What my voice was going to sound like. I already knew the platforms that I was going to be creating that I didn't want him at any point during this journey that I'm creating right now for him to say like, Yeah. the only reason she got that was because of. Whatever the fuck he wanted to say, you know, so

[00:19:43] Lori Saitz: Yeah. Yeah. I have two questions. One. What happened when you left? Like did he come after you? What happened? And then my second question is how did you get this vision that you were already seeing?

[00:20:01] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. So, uh, yeah. he did totally freak out. So what happened at the end? I had saved. So over the last four years I was with him, I opened up a secret bank account, a secret storage unit, eBay account offer up account with Fibre account and under the radar, he had no idea this was happening. I was listing stuff and selling stuff out of the trunk of my car, basically.

When he was like sleeping or not paying attention, I will take all this stuff and just throw it in the trunk of my car, packing tape, scissors, envelopes, and crap, all over the trunk of my car. And I would, I was running this business out of the trunk of my car and my phone. And, um, so over four years, I, at the end I collected $50,000.

It took me four years, but I was able to collect $50,000. Um, but a year before I was. We always would have these blow up for those of you that are in abusive relationships, you know, that they're like explosive, like beyond. So an explosive argument happened, which is normal. And I used that excuse to move from his bedroom, into the guest bedroom on purpose, because I already knew what I was doing.

So. Uh, he didn't know, he just thought I was like angry, but I was like, that's it, I'm moving into the guest room. And it was this whole thing. I took all of my crap out of his, everything, bathroom, everything out of his room and put it in the guestroom and my son and I had Jack and John. Rooms sharing a bathroom for the last year that I, that for the last year I was there.

So what I was do is every few days I would bundle up some of my stuff in my room, some of my stuff in my son's room, he didn't know. Um, and I throw it in the trunk of my car. I take him to school and then I would take the stuff in my trunk, drop it at my storage unit and then just go about my day. So slowly started emptying out stuff.

And, uh, two weeks before I was supposed to actually. Exit the relationship. He calls me up. I'll never forget it. I was at the container store living my best life. I've got money in the bank. I have my own place. I've already rented my, my, the house from that woman. I'm like showering over there. I am like feeling so powerful and I'm waiting.

I'm just, I knew, I know that this day is coming and it's just slowly approaching, but he calls me two weeks before. And he's just swearing. Like what the fuck is that? What the, what? And, and I knew I knew, but I was chill. I was like, what are you talking about? And he's like, I went into your room and I was to run the robo vac and I opened the closet and there's one fucking dress in, and I'm like a dress whore.

So like, my closet is full. Um, but I had been selling stuff on eBay and all my shit was now at my. there was one dress. There was one thing in my closet, there was shoes and a dress. That's it. And cause what I would do is I would just alternate. So I would just bring one dress with me every time because I knew it was coming.

I didn't want to have to like grab a bunch of stuff. When I left, I wanted to just be able to like put it in my purse and walk out. So, um, he was like, come home Right. now. You have my car? Cause I was driving his car. Um, you know, we need to talk about this. What are you doing? All the stuff That people say when you're breaking up.

So I was like, I'll come home when I'm ready to come home. I am doing something Mike I'm Vinci. So I went about whatever I was doing. I was at the container store. I was getting stuff for like. And eventually I come home, I ate first. I made sure I eat, came home. We sat down and he's like, let's just talk about it.

He's very calm, collected. And, um, gave him like an hour to like talk or whatever. And he already knew, I mean, we, I mean, I had told him a thousand times I was leaving, you know, literally. So.

[00:24:05] Lori Saitz: But he didn't

[00:24:05] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah, no, because it had been 13 years.

[00:24:09] Lori Saitz: Right. Right. Of course. And he thought he

[00:24:11] Sabrina Victoria: yeah,

[00:24:12] Lori Saitz: control of you. So why would he think you were

[00:24:14] Sabrina Victoria: thought I had no money. So he was like, how are you doing this?

He accused me of cheating. He's like, who are you moving in with? Who's paying you. Who's helping you. And I'm like, absolutely nobody. I'm literally doing this all by myself. So I grabbed my dress, grabbed my shoes, my toothbrush, whatever I had over there and walked out the door with my bicycle. So my bicycle was still at his house.

I dropped the keys to my car. I dropped my phone. I dropped my, I already had a new phone. I dropped my computer. Okay. I already got a new computer and I had already set the whole thing up. And I walked out in my, with my bag, with my couple of things and my bicycle. And I friggin rode my bike to my house.

[00:24:54] Lori Saitz: And he didn't follow you or try to

[00:24:57] Sabrina Victoria: yeah, he did. I mean, it was, yeah, it was a whole thing. He, um, he showed up here, he knew where I lived. He knew where she, you know, she was my friend. So he knew where she lived it eventually, you know, where I stayed in the same area. So, you know, but yeah, he'd show up. He knocked on the door. He came in a couple of times trying to get me back, accusing me of stealing some of his stuff.

He'd be like, this is my towel. And I'm like, no, that's how it was from Goodwill. I paid 50 cents for it. Thank you know, um, accusing me of stealing a tape measure. Um, which no, did it steal your tape measure? So, and the literally fighting over stuff like,

that, I'd be like, go back to your house right now. And that tape measures in your toolbox, this is my tape measure.

Like just dumb stuff that he was trying to. Yeah. But, um,

[00:25:48] Lori Saitz: Yeah.

[00:25:50] Sabrina Victoria: Okay. So the

[00:25:51] Lori Saitz: okay. So the more interesting question was that second one, which was, how did you come up with this plan? Because you're talking, I mean, when we started out here, you're like this naive little girl from Jehovah's witness background and didn't know anything and had nothing, and then got involved with this relationship with somebody who was so controlling

[00:26:14] Sabrina Victoria: And Phil

[00:26:15] Lori Saitz: and still didn't really give you a lot of freedom.

[00:26:19] Sabrina Victoria: And

[00:26:20] Lori Saitz: And you built this entire vision and this plan and you were so patient about it. I mean, so organized and patient like this, isn't some incredible, uh, planning skills and, um, execution skills.

[00:26:37] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. I always say that his decision to bring me into his life, um, best decision he's ever made. And him allowing me to leave his life was the stupidest decision he's ever made because the only reason he got to where he got to, and I will say this until the day I die, I don't care what he says.

The only reason he got to, where he got to financially is because of me. When I first met him, he was literally working out of his little townhouse in a little loft on his second floor. And once he. Teamed up with I'm like big vision. So like you give me something, anything, I don't care what you give me a coffee shop and we're going worldwide.

Like, I don't give a fuck. So he gave me, he gave me a business. He had a business. Now when I was that young, I didn't know like, oh, I'm a big visionary. I just did what was innately inside of me to just grow big. Like it's just in me to just. Take something and make it enormous. So little within a very short amount of time, we were, I was contacting new newspapers within the state, um, you know, contacting other locations and we just, it just like, boom.

It is time after time. After time just kept growing and, um, ended up, you know, down here in Florida, I was still working with him down here. And started with one newspaper, went to two, went to three, went to four. We, I hooked up with AT&T I hooked up with ADT. I hooked up with Comcast, so it just grew exponentially exponentially.

So when I was realizing like, Hey, this isn't working, he's not a team player. Like I'm pretty much out. He's putting me down constantly. He's telling me I'm stupid. Constantly. He's telling me that I don't know what I'm doing constantly telling me. I don't know business. I don't know. But, but like everything just keeps growing.

It was exactly what a nurse assistant. And when I started reading about empowering, I started reading about finances. I started reading about all this stuff later on. Once I was leaving, I started to realize like, oh my gosh, I'm already doing all of this. I'm just doing it for somebody else. I'm helping somebody.

I'm helping somebody else build their kingdom. I need to start building my own kingdom. So I just kind of dove into what, what I was already doing, which was helping myself. And I was like, if I can take what I am doing for myself right now, and I can give the same exact information for somebody else to learn, to be able to do the same thing for them.

Genius, absolutely genius. So I started working on my company, you know, two or three years, right. When I was ready to leave, I was already opening up my websites. Like I had a website going that, like, he didn't know about, like, my name was already being published. I was already starting a YouTube channel, but I just wasn't marketing or telling him about anything.

So he didn't even know to Google it. And he wasn't on social media. Um, he's 10 or 11 years older than me. So that was. He wasn't on there to even know, to look things up. So, yeah. And it's just snowballed into what it's becoming, you know, and we're, I'm still in the baby stages. Like I'm going real big. So it's just, you know, I I've come a long, long ways, but we still have a long, long ways to go.

And I'm super excited about it. I love it.

[00:30:03] Lori Saitz: I love it. I'm so excited for you now. I want to come back to the whole, you mentioned landmark. How did you find, what are the tools that you used to?

[00:30:16] Sabrina Victoria: heal

[00:30:16] Lori Saitz: I don't know if heal yourself is the right term, but to. I guess it is partially is to, I mean, cause you went through a lot of trauma

[00:30:26] Sabrina Victoria: and to

[00:30:27] Lori Saitz: and to, um, to bring yourself to this healthier place where you are now, how did you find those tools?

What were they talk

[00:30:35] Sabrina Victoria: So the main one that I use consistently, um, if I was going to give advice would be, um, I CA I came out of victimhood. So my majority of my life, you know, this or all of this that I'm doing right now is only over the past 10 years.

So for the majority of my life, I'm almost 40. I'm going to be 40 this year. So the majority of my life, I was just playing the victim. I was woe is me, poor me. Um, you know, He does this, he did that. They did this to me and I am this way because of them. And it's very disempowering. And, um, I learned that I need to take my power back.

And I learned that every single situation and every single struggle that I've ever been through in my entire life taught me something. And that is my advice to anybody. It just, if there's just one thing. Do you have to look back at your challenges and your past struggles and figure out what was the lesson that you learned from that circumstance?

Because there is now a tool that you have, That's like lost somewhere because we're not organized as people, but it's like lost in there. Then you have right now. Because of those circumstances that you were in. So you have to like organize your toolbox and find out what did you do? What did you learn from that?

And then once your, your tools are organized, then as you go through life and you start getting more challenges or more struggles, you have some tools to pick from, and then you continue to build more tools as you go along. So what are you learning?

[00:32:14] Lori Saitz: such a good analogy, such a good analogy about the tools and choosing the tools

[00:32:19] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. Yeah. We're always learning. You're always all we're overdoing. Actually. There's literally nothing else that we're doing. There's nothing we eat and we sleep. But the only thing we are always ever doing is learning. That's it. And then you die.

[00:32:36] Lori Saitz: Yeah, exactly right. That's, that's exactly it. We put so much pressure on ourselves and so much meaning into everything that we're doing every day. And it really just comes back to we're learning we're on this path and we're learning as we go along and I would throw in and we're also here to have fun.

So throw some of that into the whole learning experience. Learning can be fun. Didn't we learn that on Sesame street. Um,

[00:33:04] Sabrina Victoria: Yes. I agree with you on that. That's great.

[00:33:09] Lori Saitz: Yeah. Cool. So you mentioned, you mentioned landmark. Were there other tools that were explicitly influential to you or, or practices that you continued to, to partake in.

[00:33:24] Sabrina Victoria: um, I mean, yeah, the M w a big one that's coming to mind now is the word AND. So, um, you know, living with the acknowledgement of don't have to be either. Um, lot of times people think that they have to, when they're making decisions in life, like it can either be this or it could be that. Um, and we, we need sometimes.

But a lot of times the things in our, in our life can be added to. So it doesn't have to be yes Or no. It could be. yes, and no. Um, I'm trying to think of like an actual

[00:33:59] Lori Saitz: yes.

and Yes.

[00:34:01] Sabrina Victoria: I'm trying to think of like an actual example of that. That's like a, for some reason, I guess I'm hungry. I'm thinking of a sandwich.

You know, can, do you want spaghetti or do you want a sandwich? And you can literally be like a sandwich and spaghetti, like you can do both. Um, but there's, there's real life examples with that. And I apologize for not being able to think of one, but you know, living in a world of, of an versus, um, arguing with people, you know, over things.

So, um, you know, did you do this and this and this? Yes, I did. And. I didn't mean to do that, you know, did you, did you say it that, you know, you said it this way and you hurt my feelings. Yes. And you know, you frustrated me, you know, so it kind of allows us to be able to live in a world of, uh, both, both, both people can be right.

You can have more than just one or the other. It's more abundance. It's living in more abundance. I think in, in, in a lot of areas,

[00:34:59] Lori Saitz: Yeah, recognizing that we live in an abundant universe.

[00:35:04] Sabrina Victoria: there

[00:35:04] Lori Saitz: And there is so much more available once you start seeing it. It's that being open to it and seeing the

[00:35:12] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. Like I can be a mother and be wealthy, you know, I can be a single mother and. Um, you know, have my own life. There's a lot of times we think it's either know either, or like, if you're a single mom, then you can't get married. If you're, if you're a mother, then you can't be an entrepreneur.

And it's not that. You know, you can be more, you can, you can, and your life a lot more. Um, if you get creative, you know, you have to be creative. Our brains are meant to create, and they're like imagination factories. So, you know, we, we have to like start thinking bigger and broader. Like what if, you know, what, if can you add more ans into your.

[00:35:57] Lori Saitz: Well, wasn't it. Walt Disney, who said the imagination is the, is like a preview of coming attractions

[00:36:02] Sabrina Victoria: I love it. I don't know, but I, but it's true. Yes. You know, that's one of the things that I teach you a lot of what I, the foundation of what I teach is time management and organization. And I talk about all the time that we need to start getting that stuff out of our head and putting it down on paper because we're not leaving enough room for our brains to be able to create.

Um, solutions for the problems that we have in our life to create the brilliance that we're supposed to have in our life.

because we have our grocery list taken up fricking room and our brain, you know, or, or arguments that we're having with our mother or whatever it is like, we gotta get that shit out.

You gotta take it out and write it down so that we can open up and allow, you know, actual creativity to be happening insider your head.

[00:36:54] Lori Saitz: yes. And I'm I admit I'm not. Great journaler. I don't, I don't do it consistently, but I also, wasn't a meditator for very consistently, for a long time. And now look at me, I'm all, that's what I'm teaching people. So I'm doing it. I'm teaching it, but yes. And the journaling part maybe is the next part. Is that something that you do?

It sounds like, sounds like something you

[00:37:19] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. Um, my journaling is different at the moment, my journaling and yeah, it has, it's morphed though. It's evolved and it's constantly evolving, but my journaling has turned into. A conglomerate of note taking after podcasts.

So like after I jumped off a podcast like this, I have whole, no books filled, filled with just things that I learned, things that I appreciated, things that I want to change. Um, Things that reminded me of something else that like, you know, it triggered something, feelings, thoughts. I just get it all down on paper.

Um, when I was younger, it used to be very much like today. I remember mine yesterday. I am mad at my mom or my boyfriend sucks or whatever it

[00:38:10] Lori Saitz: of a

[00:38:10] Sabrina Victoria: Yeah. Now it's become more of a, uh, a vomit of like all of the things that are going on in my head all of the time. Cause it's a lot, but I think it's always important to be writing things down.

I actually, on Mondays, I don't know if you've ever seen me, but on Mondays I come on, not at a specific time. I think I do that unconsciously on purpose, but on Mondays I sit down and I read from my old job. I started when I was, yeah, I started from when I was 12. I think I'm at age 15 or 16 now I'm reading them in chronological order.

So it's going to get more and more juicy. I'm like so scared, but I am, I'm reading in chronological order, all of this stuff. I've got so many dreams. Over the, over the years. So it's definitely been a journey and I, I definitely recommended I have journals for sale on my Amazon Amazon page. I think that it is important to be writing stuff down.

Um, and it doesn't have to be like every single day. Sometimes you don't have to write stuff down other times you do. So I think you kind of have to pick and choose. Wow.

[00:39:22] Lori Saitz: Wow. You have just given us so much.

[00:39:26] Sabrina Victoria: think

[00:39:26] Lori Saitz: Think about process work with, thank you so much for getting, for coming on the show before we go, I got to ask you, what is the song that you listen to? I mean, you have a very high level of energy already, so let's say you need to take it up a notch. What is the song you listened to?

[00:39:44] Sabrina Victoria: Uh, so as soon as you ask this question, I, I go to?

immediately, there was no hesitation with Katy Perry. Roar, R O a R my son and I, and I still have this memory in my head vividly, and I will have this memory until the day I died.

But when that song came on it, that was the song that my son and I would scream. And he was young. I mean, he was maybe 10. I don't know when that song came out, but he was young. And we would sing that song from the S from the bottoms of our souls, uh, with just all of the passion that you could possibly pull from our bodies.

And I remember specifically one day, I'm going to get teary-eyed one day we were at a stoplight pulling into our neighborhood and the song came on. and he goes, mom, this is our GM we locked eyes and it was just such a euphoric feeling of like, Mother and son, it was just so beautiful and he didn't know this, or maybe he did, but I was so taken back at that moment that I literally couldn't sing the song because I was crying so badly out of like so much happiness, just so.

Happy that I was that I'm, his mom is so happy that he loves me so happy that we're, that we're so free and we're so joyful and, um, and like comfortable with each other. it felt good. It felt really good. So that song had a meaning before, even that time, because we used to sing it all the time. But for some reason that day, it was just, it just locked into my soul.

And still when I watch it, when, when I had, uh, when you had asked this question, I actually rewatched it. Cause I wanted to make sure I was like the, our roar. Is it Rory? Whatever I rewash it and I'm just tears. I like powerful, you know, powerful tears, but it's such a powerful song. And it's everything that I stand for within my brand, within the transformation teaching that I teach.

Um, it like it is the mantra of it is the mantra for sure.

[00:42:36] Lori Saitz: fantastic. So you just mentioned what you teach that you teach and that you have a program. So if people wanted to continue a conversation with you, where would be the best place for them to

[00:42:46] Sabrina Victoria: Um, so my main website is just my name, Sabrina, victoria.com and all of the projects and companies and communities that I work with. Are there along with all of my social media?

[00:43:00] Lori Saitz: Beautiful. Thank you so much for joining me today on fine is a four-letter word, Sabrina.

[00:43:06] Sabrina Victoria: Thank you. This was fantastic.