Sparkle Lindsay is a woman of many strengths. She joins me in today’s episode to discuss her journey from WNBA prospect to corporate executive to influential speaker and addictions coach. As the oldest of five children, Sparkle started taking care of everyone else right from the beginning, in what she calls the “fix it role.” She carried that responsibility around and played that part so well, no one knew she was using drugs and alcohol to mask her pain.
There are several places in her story where you might get chills. And even if you haven’t faced the same heart-breaking experiences – we each have our own. You’ll relate to her stuffing down emotions, not wanting to appear weak, and putting other people’s well-being ahead of your own. And you’ll laugh at her inability to turn off that fix it role even as she was being taken off to jail with a lethal amount of alcohol in her system.
Man, she has such a triumphant spirit!
Two years and four months later, Sparkle is an inspiring speaker, published author and a nationally certified recovery coach based in Colorado, helping light the way for others on their journeys.
Here’s Sparkle’s hype song: Make it happen, by Mariah Carey, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q6xx0JfMBI
Her YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO9Je7sUGNOFaAv2OCVX_g
Get her gear: https://www.prepsportswear.com/team/us/colorado/colorado-springs/sparkle?schoolid=3423646
And find her book: https://www.amazon.com/Being-Better-Me-Sparkle-Lindsay/dp/1941892485/
Come join us in the Fine is a 4-Letter Word Facebook group.
This episode is sponsored by Zen Rabbit. When you’re asking yourself “what’s next for me? Who am I now, in this next season of life? And where do I even start figuring out my purpose?” the F*ck Being Fine Experience is here for you. Go to https://zenrabbit.com/ to learn more or to schedule a complimentary call.
Transcript
Welcome to fine is a four letter word. I am so honored to
Speaker:have sparkle Lindsey as my guest today, because she is sharing
Speaker:such a personal story, and I really am so grateful for you
Speaker:for being willing to come and share this... Thank you so much for
Speaker:having me, Lori. I appreciate it. I was so excited when you were
Speaker:like, Hey, you wanna hook up? I'm like, Oh yeah, of course.
Speaker:Yeah, so we are going to talk about
Speaker:so many different topics. We're gonna keep it to our normal format,
Speaker:but I know that we could talk forever, but some of the things
Speaker:that I want to make sure that we do cover is talking about
Speaker:progress over perfection, and those stories that we make up, that we tell
Speaker:ourselves that are just made up and how we... Wanting to fix everything
Speaker:for everyone else, but really we only have control of our own stuff,
Speaker:so let's start out by having you share
Speaker:some of the beliefs that were instilled in you as a child that
Speaker:then affected you as you grew up and things that... Beliefs that you
Speaker:carried with you that may or may not have served you...
Speaker:Well, you know, I grew up... The oldest of five, I was my
Speaker:father. My mother, I was the right hand man, the right hand woman,
Speaker:the one that made sure all my brothers and sisters were taking care
Speaker:of for the most part, not really like I took the mother and
Speaker:father role 'cause we had wonderful parents, but more so the big sister
Speaker:role, like I should I... Sister role also was Sparkle, to take care
Speaker:of it. Role, go ask your sister. And for me, I got so
Speaker:used to being that sparkle knows it, that I took that on throughout
Speaker:my life, now, little did I know that that piece of my life
Speaker:would maybe cripple me in my addiction, I'm three months sober as of
Speaker:August 4. So in my eyes, in my addiction, I took on what
Speaker:they call the fix it role, and I took on the strong black
Speaker:woman role, the strong woman role, even at work as an HR manager
Speaker:at the time, now being 36 and no longer working for big box
Speaker:companies anymore, I took on the Spark will fix it role once again,
Speaker:call Sparkle, she knows what to do. And I got so used to
Speaker:that that I really didn't have any time to fix me,
Speaker:I didn't even know that this... Or I didn't even know that existed.
Speaker:And a big portion of that, I suppressed a lot of my issues,
Speaker:a lot of my problems, or a lot of things that were bothering
Speaker:me, because I felt like I had to be that super woman that
Speaker:fix it person, that person that had to have the answers,
Speaker:and being a recovery coach now, I can really look at the difference
Speaker:between how I am now and being able to allow people to fix
Speaker:their own issues, to walk alongside them, but let them know that it's
Speaker:theirs to hold... Not mine to keep. Yes, yeah. So let's take a
Speaker:step back to getting into corporate or getting into...
Speaker:As you were growing up, you moved away from your family,
Speaker:I went to school and became this corporate superstar. Really? Yeah,
Speaker:there's a part in my life there where I also played college basketball,
Speaker:so it started where I was paving the way for my brothers and
Speaker:sisters, I was showing them how it's supposed to be done,
Speaker:you know that American dream, where you go to school, you get a
Speaker:degree. You play a sport, if you can try to get a scholarship
Speaker:or an academic scholarship, and I received academic scholarship, I received
Speaker:a vocal Scholarship and I also received a basketball scholarship, so through
Speaker:all of those, I chose basketball. That was my sport. I also battled
Speaker:for autoimmune conditions, and the first autoimmune hit me in the middle
Speaker:of my college basketball season, where I dropped from 140 to 107 in
Speaker:a week and a half... Oh my gosh. And. I was told I'd
Speaker:never walk again. And that I would be in a wheelchair.
Speaker:Gosh, that scared me. You know, it scared me to meet...
Speaker:I never cried. To me, it was, I can fix it,
Speaker:I'm gonna walk again. I mean, I went into fight or flight mode.
Speaker:There was no such thing that, this is not going to happen.
Speaker:But little did I know later on in life,
Speaker:because I did, I suppressed all of that and didn't cry about it,
Speaker:it came back later and it got me... I was gonna say,
Speaker:did you go through any counseling, you know. I did not,
Speaker:and that is the reason why I harp so much on recovery coaching
Speaker:and getting those legs to your table and getting the help you need,
Speaker:and raising your hand to say, I need help and I need to
Speaker:talk to someone. Mental health and being able to speak up in the
Speaker:African American community, but also just period in people is to put the
Speaker:H on your chest and handle it, there's nothing... What we do,
Speaker:you can deal with it. You don't need to cry. What you're crying
Speaker:for? All of those kids that we tell ourselves, we tell ourselves this
Speaker:too, like, are I got it. It's fine, right?
Speaker:Why aren't you gonna cry today, you know, like, come on,
Speaker:but we weren't taught that in our society, we were not taught to
Speaker:allow ourselves and give ourselves permission to feel and to cry and to
Speaker:know that we're human and that we have to start with ourselves first.
Speaker:Right, right. Okay, so you did get yourself to walk again...
Speaker:Oh yeah. So I re taught myself to walk...
Speaker:I played another two years of college ball
Speaker:at like... Not only did you relearn to walk, you went back and
Speaker:played ball again... Oh. Yeah, I went back and I said,
Speaker:It's on... We're doing this. I then went on to try out for
Speaker:the MBA, but I realized I was gonna sign and I realized how
Speaker:exhausted I was and I need to turn it down, I had just
Speaker:been through quite a bit, and I went on a head...
Speaker:Got my degree, got a double major in a minor, and
Speaker:went on ahead to jump right into a manager and training role for
Speaker:coals, and that is where I was taking everything I learned from basketball,
Speaker:from the determination, from the motivation, the strong female that was
Speaker:looked up to repaired by a lot of other young girls and young
Speaker:men, and I'm like, I'm doing it, getting ready to come out making
Speaker:60000 a year, I'm 24 years old. Let's do this. I was on
Speaker:this mission of in my head, I don't think I'm good enough,
Speaker:so let's keep going. Later on it turned, came back to get me
Speaker:because that type of thought throw me into
Speaker:perfection, which is an illusion because there is no such thing as we
Speaker:know... Yeah. But to me... We were gonna get it done.
Speaker:I am the fixer. This is what I do, we will take care
Speaker:of it. We will take care of it. All of these words that
Speaker:are stuck in my head, we will do this, I got you.
Speaker:Don't worry, we'll take care of it. All along, I wasn't taking care
Speaker:of me, I just didn't recognize it, I was on autopilot.
Speaker:As a lot of us are even, I don't wanna say advanced agents,
Speaker:that makes it sound like we're in our 90s, but now
Speaker:even farther and down the road, people who are older than...
Speaker:You were saying you were 24, 25, many years later, 10,
Speaker:20, 30 years later. A lot of us are still saying that same
Speaker:thing... Yes, a lot of us are still saying that because we're leaders,
Speaker:we are leaders that feel like we have to keep moving,
Speaker:and for me, being a leader, I was an athlete, I was an
Speaker:executive for three biggest box companies, I leave. Now, as a spiritual
Speaker:leader and into my spiritual realm, I am a healer, and that's still
Speaker:a leader role where we have to still let ourselves now,
Speaker:okay, we're still human and we still gotta work on us.
Speaker:We go, hits you and you're like, I'm the fixer so I can
Speaker:handle it. I'm okay. Yeah, exactly. So at what point did you...
Speaker:I mean, you came from being an athlete, elite athlete into the corporate
Speaker:world, and then... How did you manage that? Is that why you turn
Speaker:to the substance abuse that you did, was it to help you manage
Speaker:the overwhelming task of trying to be perfect and manage everybody...
Speaker:Well, I think for me, I was never a big drinker.
Speaker:My drugs of choice where cocaine, Molly and alcohol, but cocaine was introduced
Speaker:to me around 26, and that made it where I could drink more.
Speaker:At the time, I was partying. For me, I had a degree,
Speaker:I'm making 68, 60, 70000 a year. I run in teams of 300
Speaker:to 400 people running remodels, I honestly... Just living the life of a
Speaker:26 year 26 year old, right? That's a lot of responsibility for a
Speaker:26 year old. It is, and a lot of that stress that I
Speaker:was holding on to, I was festering. And then when I get off,
Speaker:I'd say, Oh. Like everybody else says, I just need to drink.
Speaker:Let me just click some take a drink everything the TV and the
Speaker:media and people do on a regular... I was doing... Now,
Speaker:I'm just relaxing. They make it seem like you gotta wax with a
Speaker:drink, that's how you relax. Yeah, our societies are messed up in that
Speaker:regard, that... And. Kick your feet up. I'm like, Well, can't we just
Speaker:have tea or a. Footloose... We're having to... You over here.
Speaker:You did have it. Come in a good conversation. You know?
Speaker:Yeah, but that's what I was used to. But instead it was,
Speaker:Get off working party. Get out, work. Where are we going next?
Speaker:I traveled a lot, I partied a lot, I had a lot of
Speaker:fun, but that little bit of drink and stuff and all of that
Speaker:was creeping up on me slowly it was creeping up on me,
Speaker:the stresses were starting to get me, and I was maintaining it I
Speaker:had many accolades, I was doing great, but I secretly was still drinking,
Speaker:and I had people around me that were drinking, all of us were
Speaker:drinking to get through or reward ourselves for like our long 13 and
Speaker:14 hour days that we had no boundaries to set for ourself,
Speaker:and say, I'm on my nine hours and going home, but not us,
Speaker:we had to take it to the limit, right, we had to fix
Speaker:everything and then work ourselves to that 14 hours and be on auto
Speaker:pilot and then go home and drink and party before it became a
Speaker:cycle, and I hope you're not hung over 'cause you know you're gonna
Speaker:have to run a whole team of people calling you, but you'll make
Speaker:it... You know... Yeah, so how long did that go on for?
Speaker:Oh. That went on for a minute for me, it went on for
Speaker:about, I wanna say probably 13 years of my life there too,
Speaker:I just was chasing my high, the cocaine got more...
Speaker:I was like having a hard time waking up, but I was still
Speaker:getting there, I was still focused, I could still do everything,
Speaker:but that's because of my autopilot brain, I was so used to what
Speaker:I was doing that it was just second nature for me and my
Speaker:body, it needed the substance, it wanted it, it needed it,
Speaker:and that's what it was going to get regardless.
Speaker:And then I had something pretty shocking happened to me,
Speaker:I went in to work one day and I was pretty...
Speaker:I was pretty hungover and I had a client, not a client,
Speaker:but an associate who he was missing for a few days,
Speaker:and I knew that he didn't have anywhere to live, so I had
Speaker:put in a lot of proposal proposals for him to get housing from
Speaker:us and finally, it came through. So I was really excited for him
Speaker:to come to work. I was hoping he came to work that day,
Speaker:we couldn't get a hold of him, and sure enough he showed up
Speaker:and... So I had the conversation with him when he walked in and
Speaker:I said, I got some good news for you, and he had this
Speaker:feeling that I was just like, Oh yeah, okay, well, I gotta go
Speaker:to the bathroom. So he kinda walks by me, goes to the bathroom,
Speaker:and I never really paid attention to my intuition or...
Speaker:But then I got a real pit in my stomach feeling,
Speaker:so I said, You know what, I'm just gonna make his day a
Speaker:little bit better, and when he comes out the bathroom, I'm gonna give
Speaker:him the paper and then he'll be good to go, so I got
Speaker:closer to the bathroom, and these feelings, I just had this really anxious
Speaker:feeling that I've never really felt before, and I walked to the bathroom,
Speaker:I waited for about two, three minutes, and I opened the door and
Speaker:he shot himself... Oh my God. And I fainted.
Speaker:Yeah. Wow. And I think is, right then and there,
Speaker:I tanith. Else, what else could you do.
Speaker:It? I don't even have words like right now, I can't imagine what
Speaker:it would have been like for you or anyone to walk in on
Speaker:that, I cried... I didn't cry. Actually, excuse me, I did not cry.
Speaker:I went through a series of classes that helped me get through it,
Speaker:or supposedly helped me get through it, all the rest of the trauma
Speaker:that I had that I have not addressed, it just piled up.
Speaker:Right, so remember, we just put the H on our chest and we
Speaker:handle it, but in our reality, I was having nightmares as well,
Speaker:and my body was hurting, so my body started hurting again and I
Speaker:didn't know what was going on. Six months after that, I was diagnosed
Speaker:with lupus, which was my fourth autoimmune condition, so I had to immediately
Speaker:jump on what they call methotrexate form of chemo and try to get
Speaker:it under control. So now I'm having nightmares, my body's hurting,
Speaker:I'm drinking and drugging to try to get through the day to try
Speaker:to numb the pain and the hurt, 'cause I haven't cried about this
Speaker:by killing himself or me being sick, and I'm still going to work
Speaker:and working 13 hour days, and now I'm having panic attacks if I
Speaker:walk in the store because the bathroom and the blackness that was going
Speaker:on in the nightmares, and I'm like, Oh my God, I got a
Speaker:drink to do this, I got... I was slowly but surely,
Speaker:Laurie, slight, and I was taking and I was holding up.
Speaker:But I was getting to that point where I'm in a deeper BIS
Speaker:and I don't know when I'm gonna hit the ground. Everything was starting
Speaker:to crumble around me, and I didn't know how to ask for help,
Speaker:I'm the fixer, I'm not the person to a supposed to be...
Speaker:You're the one people come to... Not somebody. Yeah. Not the a spark,
Speaker:a lock to handle this, you know what I mean? But inside,
Speaker:I was crying, I was hurting, I just could not find it in
Speaker:myself to ask for help before you know it, after I finally realized
Speaker:I was just... I was starting to get real, real sick and I've
Speaker:dropped weight again, and thanks, all of these dictates auto immune,
Speaker:they started attacking me, my body just couldn't make it, I remember being
Speaker:called into the corporate office... I remember thinking, I'm probably gonna
Speaker:get fired. I have in quite a bit now, I think the gigs
Speaker:up here... They're catching on. Yeah, they are catching on. 'cause Sparkle
Speaker:is not looking too good. And I got in there and they asked
Speaker:me, they said, Hey, so, you're doing such a great job.
Speaker:I would like to promote you how... I thought the ground,
Speaker:I said, Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, no. I'm sorry, but I've got to
Speaker:save my life today, I appreciate it, but I'm gonna have to say
Speaker:No, this is my exit interview, and I got to get myself help,
Speaker:and at that point, I walked off, I remember
Speaker:I couldn't find which door to leave, I. Like you wanna make a
Speaker:grand exit, but you can't find the rights are... You're like,
Speaker:Oh, that's the closet. Never mind. How do I...
Speaker:I said, Oh great, you know. You're like, Yeah, I'm noble.
Speaker:Oh, how do I get out of here?
Speaker:So I didn't even look back on... I didn't wanna look back and
Speaker:they'd be like, I grill, look at her. So it's a US...
Speaker:As I kept going, I got in the car, I called my mom
Speaker:and I said, I left from a job... You know, I left my
Speaker:job and. I'm gonna go get him. And everybody's like, Yeah,
Speaker:and I called my aunt and she's like, Alright, so we're gonna make
Speaker:arrangements, and we were trying to do all of that, and then I
Speaker:decided to go with my ex fiance up to Black Hawk for one
Speaker:last hurrah. Of course, one. Just do everything.
Speaker:Got up there. We got into a big fight. I drank one last
Speaker:tequila shot and I ended up in jail. Wow.
Speaker:And that was when I knew they had me breathe and I
Speaker:had the breathalyzer, I had had many breathalyzer, but this one was pretty
Speaker:big, it was a 04, it was a 04, and I was like,
Speaker:How are you even still alive? Right. With all the medications and everything
Speaker:else, but then it was a 04, Laurie and I was talking like
Speaker:this. Like how we are talking, right? It did amazing. And they were
Speaker:like, I was like, Actually, I have a plan for you to be
Speaker:able to organize your little faster to get me in to jail.
Speaker:To help you with your organization. Here, you cannot turn off.
Speaker:Or the corporate and. Autopilot. Right, so I knew then
Speaker:it's time to get help. I was scared,
Speaker:but I went on ahead and I made the transition. After I got
Speaker:out of jail, I took off or I took a... Helena was in
Speaker:jail for about three days because they had to make sure that my
Speaker:levels came down, the levels were not... They were up there for a
Speaker:long time, so I was in about the stand, then he went straight
Speaker:to a program... Well then, yeah, I got home. I still
Speaker:drink more about three to three or four days after that,
Speaker:and then I was like, I am just getting sick,
Speaker:I gotta get some help, so I remember clearing everything out of my
Speaker:truck and threw it down on the yard.
Speaker:I was like, I gotta go to treatment. And got to my grandparents
Speaker:house and my grandparents took me to treatment, the funny thing is,
Speaker:is that I was in the back seat with them,
Speaker:and they put the Child lock on 'cause they thought I might be
Speaker:or whatever the youths... So they put the Child lock on and we
Speaker:finally get to Parker Valley Hope, that was where I went first,
Speaker:I went to two treatment centers, but Parker value, hope we get there,
Speaker:and when they go to get out, they don't know how to turn
Speaker:the child lock off. Okay, so they're like, Well, Spark, can you let
Speaker:yourself out? I said, Well, I can't get it. They said,
Speaker:Well, we put the Child lock on, Can you help us get it
Speaker:off. So I helped them get up, I got out, ended up in
Speaker:treatment, I blew a 03 6 going into treatment as well,
Speaker:and then I started my journey of recovery, and I have...
Speaker:I have not looked back. And it has been an amazing journey for
Speaker:me. But I had to do it for me. Gosh, I was...
Speaker:A good point of me was worried about what my family was gonna
Speaker:think, I was worried about what work would think, like a lot of
Speaker:people are like, We don't even think this girl was drinking at all...
Speaker:Shouldn't even look like it. We didn't even notice it. Even now,
Speaker:when I do podcasts like this, a lot of times people are like,
Speaker:I did not know you were living that life,
Speaker:and I was living that life... That's incredible.
Speaker:That you were able to keep it under wraps. So well,
Speaker:that people you were closest to didn't even know... Yeah. And I think,
Speaker:you know, like my father, my father is really close to me,
Speaker:my brothers, they started to really get it. They started to get it.
Speaker:I was very combative, I was in denial, I don't have a problem.
Speaker:I know my stuff, I fix everything. I was in executive mode,
Speaker:autopilot mode, which a lot of us are in, we don't want to
Speaker:feel like we were defeated or like we fall, although sometimes these types
Speaker:of things are not failures at all, they are just lessons and they're
Speaker:great experiences, and they're not good or bad, they just are what they
Speaker:are, and they are part of our union, they're part of our due
Speaker:and getting out of the shame and the guilt is the hardest part.
Speaker:You're supposed to be sparkle, you're supposed to be able to handle this.
Speaker:And being able to raise your hand and say,
Speaker:I don't got this. It's a scary feeling at first, but
Speaker:you into yourself and you start to realize that you gotta learn more
Speaker:and more about yourself every day to understand where you're going...
Speaker:Yeah, and be vulnerable enough to allow people
Speaker:to say, This is where I am and
Speaker:I need... Yes. And let it go relinquish, control,
Speaker:find and follow those layers of surrender, there's layers of surrender.
Speaker:And each part of your heart, the blockages we create in the walls
Speaker:we put up, when we are doing things that are not right,
Speaker:it is just amazing when those block or just start to come down
Speaker:due to the layers of your surrender that you say, I'm ready to
Speaker:do this for me, and it just pains your whole way of thinking
Speaker:because it's not about what others think, it's about how you feel about
Speaker:you and what you're gonna do to change it for you,
Speaker:changing your narrative and believing in you, changes those layers of surrender
Speaker:and it takes it real deep for you and it helps you find
Speaker:those kinds of happiness, you know? Yeah, it's like I'm peeling an onion.
Speaker:Yes, the layers and layers and layers. And
Speaker:when you are focused on un peeling and revealing who you are and
Speaker:doing the work on yourself, it changes your relationships with those around
Speaker:you... Oh yes. And the action, your action to you
Speaker:helps other thing around you evolve. I tell a lot of my
Speaker:break down the serenity prayer and what it means to you,
Speaker:and having the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom
Speaker:to know when it's not yours to keep is one of the greatest
Speaker:blessings anybody could ever follow through for themselves, because if you're
Speaker:not focusing on you, how are you gonna help anybody else?
Speaker:You know. We have the thoughts that if we go and we give
Speaker:everybody this advice and where the fixer and we do, this will be
Speaker:good, but then where are we at? We just stand, we stay stagnant,
Speaker:we just sit still, but that's unrealistic for us to find out where
Speaker:we fit and to find our gifts and find things that...
Speaker:Find our clarity. In order for us to find the clarity,
Speaker:you've gotta know where we're going and what we want, but if we
Speaker:don't take the time with ourselves and figure out who we are and
Speaker:learn more and more about ourselves every day, What are we doing...
Speaker:You know, what are we doing? Right, exactly. Yeah, that's
Speaker:a lot of the purpose in the program that I run,
Speaker:the F being fine experience is helping people get that clarity around
Speaker:what do they want, and who are they getting that quiet to hear...
Speaker:You talked about your intuition getting quite enough to hear that inner
Speaker:voice and then finding the courage to follow it... Yes, and not only
Speaker:that, but finding the courage to actually walk through the emotions that
Speaker:you've probably been suppressing that you don't even realize pressing because
Speaker:you're on autopilot and you're so used to it, right, that it just
Speaker:becomes a part of you where you just suppress your emotions,
Speaker:and then you just walk around them, you never address them,
Speaker:suppress it on them is not even acknowledged. Yeah, how do you suppress
Speaker:them, you suppress them by fixing other things for other people,
Speaker:you suppress them by your addictions... Right. And then what it does,
Speaker:it bogs your clarity, there is no clarity there, when you don't walk
Speaker:through what's actually bothering you, figure out your why,
Speaker:research what is bothering you, so that you can move forward,
Speaker:relinquish that control and free your mind, your heart and your spirit and
Speaker:become one well oil machine for yourself, because
Speaker:you know that your emotions were temporary, not permanent, but you know
Speaker:what it feels like, and you're okay with sitting in it,
Speaker:these are not eaten. Although you say you know that your emotions are
Speaker:temporary, I think that a lot of people don't necessarily know that
Speaker:they feel emotions and they feel like I'm going to be here forever,
Speaker:and the truth is, if you allow yourself to feel them,
Speaker:that's how you move through them, exactly. And you gain that resistance
Speaker:because then you know the next emotion is coming where it becomes a
Speaker:part of you... It just becomes a part of you where you're like,
Speaker:Oh, how do I feel now? Or what is that? Anger or feeling
Speaker:like, Oh, that hurt my feelings. Talk to yourself. You know what I
Speaker:mean? Be curious to watch yourself, I say it all the time,
Speaker:because as you find that these things about yourself that you're like,
Speaker:Wow, that really set me off, that's a trigger,
Speaker:or a word or a song, or waking up in the morning.
Speaker:It's just really not my thing. Maybe, right, but now it
Speaker:out and then be able to tell people what you want.
Speaker:Know it and then honor it, exactly. Honoring and step into your power
Speaker:while you do it, when you honor it, now you can manifest the
Speaker:belief in it, now you're setting... That's a totally different level,
Speaker:manifesting your beliefs and who you are because you've honored what you've
Speaker:been through and you respect it, and once you do that,
Speaker:your demeanor changes the way you walk, the way you talk,
Speaker:the way you look, just your glow. You're walking through it.
Speaker:And you're doing it for you, and that's what makes you special.
Speaker:Everybody's journey is different. So how are you gonna do it?
Speaker:What's gonna make you a little different than everybody else, 'cause we
Speaker:are different... Right, exactly, yes. And owning and walking in your own
Speaker:power. The gift of stepping into my power, I think I've had so
Speaker:many different elements with... And that's why I was compelled to write
Speaker:my book being a better me for me, because all of the simple
Speaker:basic tips and tricks I do daily have helped me step into a
Speaker:power that is... I am so deserving of now, I mean,
Speaker:using word like deserving and capable and entitled to... Those are a totally
Speaker:different realm for what I used to use,
Speaker:using words like, I will walk on my own, but I will walk
Speaker:with you as you figure out what you're doing... Changes are part of
Speaker:our conversation where I saying, We are in this together. We got this
Speaker:because honestly, your journey is your journey, and it's for you,
Speaker:I can support you, I can't keep it for me, or take it
Speaker:with me, Right together, we can walk together in our journeys and help
Speaker:support each other as we grow and step into our power and move
Speaker:forward in a positive manner. It as individuals and
Speaker:as support for each other, nobody's here alone, but like you said,
Speaker:we're all walking our own journey... Yeah. It's kind of an odd juxtaposition
Speaker:of, we're not alone, but it's our own journey, so you don't have
Speaker:to do it alone, but you're still... You're not, you're not...
Speaker:How do we describe this? You're not doing it alone, but it is
Speaker:your own thing, nobody else is on that same journey as you are...
Speaker:Exactly. So I am a recovery coach who helps leaders, help themselves be
Speaker:the best version of them, that means that I walk alongside them,
Speaker:but I do not make decisions for them because that's not mine to
Speaker:make or to hold, but it is important for me as a coach,
Speaker:and to me, into the individual to hold space while they figure it
Speaker:out, and that is inspiring because when someone has time to think,
Speaker:they have time to actually know themselves and they have someone to consult
Speaker:with every so often, watching someone take their life back is so amazing.
Speaker:And you can see people saying, I'm owning this because I deserve this,
Speaker:and they start to change the verbiage, they start to change how they
Speaker:feel, and they start to realize the differences between being strong and
Speaker:being strong, and that is being to work on you. And strong enough
Speaker:to say, I need help. How can I fix this with me holding
Speaker:myself accountable for my actions in my own self reflection and realizing
Speaker:how did I play a part in where I'm at today?
Speaker:How did I do that? Those questions are hard to ask yourself,
Speaker:especially if you're in addiction, or if you're in denial, right.
Speaker:But when you immediately tab the strength to ask yourself those questions,
Speaker:it takes you to a totally different power in a totally different level,
Speaker:you never thought ever ceased to be there, and it shows you that
Speaker:you just... You're like, Wow, I haven't been seeing... I haven't been looking
Speaker:at myself, I've been watching why everybody else is the reason why I
Speaker:can't do... And so finally, we do start realizing I'm the reason why
Speaker:I can't do it. I was doing, you know?
Speaker:Yeah, and now a lot of people are not willing to take that
Speaker:responsibility. But until you are... That's when things really start changing.
Speaker:And you said something about deserving, and I think a lot of times
Speaker:we've been taught that to say I deserve
Speaker:means that you are somehow especially entitled in a negative, bad way,
Speaker:and that's not what we're talking about here, we're talking about just because
Speaker:you are... However you wanna describe it, child of God, you are of
Speaker:this universe, you are deserving, you are knowing or starting to understand
Speaker:your work. See, a lot of times we downplay our work because we
Speaker:don't know that we haven't explored ourselves enough to know just how strong
Speaker:this temple is, this body is, when you start to embrace every piece
Speaker:of it and you look at it, you examine it and you realize
Speaker:it you're able to say, Yeah, no, I'm worthy of so much more,
Speaker:I can do so much more. I know that because I know myself,
Speaker:and because I trust my body, I trust in myself to know that
Speaker:I can get there, and I'm gonna need some help along the way.
Speaker:Definitely, but okay, I'm Sally and I know I'm grounded and I'm ready
Speaker:to take things by storm, and that right there is a strong way
Speaker:to be, but it's a wonderful filling in its whole, it makes you
Speaker:home, makes you congruent and complete with your shadow side, and your regular
Speaker:side, right? 'cause you got in both. That is where...
Speaker:So much power in that. So much power.
Speaker:Yeah, you are definitely on a mission, I'm so
Speaker:grateful, like I said, to have had you on here to talk about
Speaker:your journey, and before we go first, what is your hype song?
Speaker:The song that you listen to that gets you
Speaker:pumped up, energized, enthusiastic, more than you already are, 'cause clearly
Speaker:you are already very enthusiastic person, you know what is the song that
Speaker:takes it to the next notch up, so. The next level.
Speaker:Okay, so I remember that I was having a not a great day,
Speaker:and I remember having to sit any motions and be like,
Speaker:Oh, I gotta take the good with the bad, it just is what
Speaker:it is, and I gotta just sit in it and let the day
Speaker:come to me when I'm in the car. And out of nowhere,
Speaker:Maurice make it happen. Comes on. And ever since then,
Speaker:I've always, I've always heard it, I've always loved it. But I heard
Speaker:those words and they spoke to me, and ever since then,
Speaker:when I'm getting ready to do a speech, when I'm getting ready to
Speaker:even write a book or whatever, I just think of those words to
Speaker:make it happen piece, and I say, I'm gonna make happen and I
Speaker:get pumped up, like I'm get ready to play a basketball game and
Speaker:it's a championship. Such a good song. Yes, abalone it.
Speaker:Alright, so if someone wants to get in touch with you and
Speaker:learn, have a conversation with you, tell us how people can reach you
Speaker:and then also how they can get your book. So if you do
Speaker:wanna get a hold to me first thing as far as if there
Speaker:are any emergencies or whatever, there is a crisis line that you can
Speaker:call, whether it's suicide, mental health, substance use, whatever that
Speaker:is, make sure you make those calls to take care of yourself.
Speaker:My website is sparkle Linz dot com. I do have a promo right
Speaker:now that's going on, that if you buy my book
Speaker:on Amazon and take a selfie with it and send it to
Speaker:the particular link that was given, you will receive 30 quotes in 30
Speaker:videos for me free of charge. So the book is a wonderful tool,
Speaker:a wonderful element, but the website alone talks about if you would like
Speaker:to be a recovery coach, it talks about If you're looking for recovery
Speaker:coaching, there's also a panel on there if you wanna wear your sparkle
Speaker:shirts or hats. So there's just a lot going on on that website
Speaker:and it just came out, so sparkle Lindsey dot com will give you
Speaker:everything that you need to get a hold of me. Fantastic,
Speaker:we'll have a link in the show notes to the website as well
Speaker:as to the link that you just talked about, so that people could
Speaker:get that Special download after they buy the book, so... Cool,
Speaker:wonderful, thank you so much for joining me today. Parklands on fine is
Speaker:a four letter word. Man, thank you for having me and I just
Speaker:wanna say it's an honor. It's always good to speak with you,
Speaker:love watching your stuff on LinkedIn, so I always watch your thing,
Speaker:so I'll be crazy excited to keep it going. Okay, yeah.